My 14 year old son has depression and tried to hurt himself

[Wenzz]

Hi parents. My son has always been quiet. Very loving and caring. At the age of 5 I left his father because he was violent towards me and he sore to much. I didnt want him growing up around that. Since then his father hardly rings him has always let him down but he has kept it all indide. Im re married to a lively man that loves my son like his own. We have just had another son hes 5 months old now.
But I've just found out from my sin that hes tried to harm himself that he loses it when we arent home punches pillows throws chairs around and then when he snaps out of it he cleans up like nothing happened.
It has been a horrific 2 weeks im still in shock because we have such an open relationship. We got admitted to hospital for a week hes now on antidepressants but more has come out he was in his room talking i thought he was talking to someone in xbox but it was to himself the other person he calls kade he said he doesnt tell me wat to do i control him. He really scared me because i could see the anger in his face he was trying to shut the doir on me which he has never done.
I went in after and he couldnt remember talking just wanting to smash the door on me. Im so upset and suffer from anxiety so that's been sky high lately im so glad we are seeing phyc tomorrow because hes telling me more than him. He said the anger is making him weak because hes kept it in so long ive never heard him raise his voice. He said its like waves i can feel ok then i go down and the anger starts he trys to keep it at bay he shakes i have to calm him because it scares him wat he will do if he loses it. Has anyone been through this as i am geart broken and trying to keep it together plus have a 5 month old teething and a hubby on night shifts

[Sister]

Hi @Wenzz,

It's great that you are married to a lovely man who loves your son as his own.

It seems like a really difficult time you are going through with your son....especially with a new baby to look after too. There have been some big changes in your life and its important for you to ventilate so that's great you have found this forum.

Firstly, as safety needs to be really vital for you and your son, has the hospital where your son was admitted given you the contact numbers of people to phone if you need some assistance?

Hopefully, once the anti-depressants give relief and with regular visits to the psychiatrist/psychologist your son may improve. Its great that he is opening up to a professional....try not to take it personally that he is not discussing everything with yourself....he could be concerned that you are busy with the baby plus it can also be common for teenagers to not communicate everything to their parents.

Let him know that you love him and are there for him however look after yourself. Talk to a friend or us here in the forum.

[Breez-RO]

Hi @Wenzz firstly you are so strong and resilient and it's a wonderful step forward that you've decided to reach out in this space. I hope this community supports you and you feel a little less alone with like minded parents to chat to online. 

I noticed you mentioned "from your sin", your Son has begun to attempt to hurt himself. Are you a part of a particular religion or Church? I am wondering if they can link you in to a church advisor or Counsellor? If not I definitely would recommend you seek out a face to face counsellor for your own self-care. As you have new bubs (congrats!) and your partner working a lot, you deserve the utmost support from a professional who can help you strategise around both your Son's symptoms, as well as how to take care of your own mental health. 

Do you feel a bit more secure knowing he is in hospital with trained staff? Are the staff able to provide you with some further resources ongoing once he's out of Hospital?

Also I just needed to edit your post, whilst we can talk about self-harm we can't be descriptive about method on the forums. You can read all about it in our community guidelines Are you based in Australia?

[Breez-RO]

Hi there @Wenzz, just wanted to check in on how you're feeling today. We're here when you're ready for a chat. 

[Wenzz]

Hi thank you for you messages. Yes im in WA. Yes we are home now hes doing alot better he sees his phyc once a week. Doesnt want to hurt himself anymore. Hes goid with his brotger. Hes really trying hes having some hard down days but the meds will kick in and the dr said it will all syart resoving. Ive started councerling i need it because its been alot to handle after having bubs but bubs is a happy good baby which is great. Im just tierd and just trying to process it all with out making my anxiety so high.
My son and I are so close this would have been so hard for him to go through because he tells me everything but didnt want me to worry. He tells me lots of stuff how he is feeling now and if he forgets i tell the phyc. So everyday is getting a tiny bit better. Thank you so much for your care xx

[mariajanes]

After looking at the situation, It is suggested to divert your son's energy into some other place. You can ask him to join gym or some other physical activity like dancing, sports etc. It is better if you can assign some tasks to him & after completing, give rewards as per the performance. It is one of the most beneficial method to divert your son's energy into some productive task.