Secretive teen

[So_worried]

Yes it’s so graphic! For the whole family too. So hard to know how to explain to her 11 year old sister. Things have improved a bit in the last week for us all. But I feel like I’m on supervision high-alert and being at work when she’s at home is stressful. Holidays will be tricky.

[Ngaio-RO]

You're doing so great @So_worried it may not feel like it but you're getting her the help that she needs and supporting her through this incredibly hard time, that's incredible.

I think, so often, parents just completely disregard what they do for their children because they know the alternative is unthinkable but that doesn't change how much effort and sacrifice is made.

Are you able to do a bit of self-care? Take a night off and see a movie with a friend, take yourself out to something you enjoy for an afternoon, meditation, anything? Just something that leaves you feeling a bit replenished.

If you click here you can have a read about looking after yourself while caring for a teenager.

[Beebaloolah]

This is an old post and you’ve probably moved on but I wanted to share my story in case it helps someone. I was considered a bright kid but my reports always said ‘could do better if tried harder’. When I hit my teens I felt like life was a roller coaster of emotion. A few decades later and I found myself reading about ADHD in women and girls. It turns out ADHD is not at all what I thought it was and it explains both the good bits and the sad bits of my life. I could put it in my own words but I think it is better just to say please consider this as a possibility. I recommend an organisation called Kaleidoscope (they have a women and ADHD 101 page). I also recommend ‘How to ADHD’ on youtube, Jess McCabe who does that channel has an excellent TED talk called ‘Failing at Normal’. For ADHD in a nutshell check out Dani Donovan’s memes. If you have ADHD there is a good chance you’ll see yourself in her memes. Ps one interesting thing is that folks with ADHD are apparently slightly more likely not to be heteronormative. Not everyone of course but quite often ADHD groups are really great safe spaces for anyone who is gender and/or sexuality diverse. 
All the best with your parenting challenges

ps if you haven’t checked out Dr Ross Greene and CPS it is a wonderful framework designed specifically for dealing with challenges with explosive kids but which works for everyone imv because it is a respectful way to work through emotional obstacles.