Self harm

[Nsocks]

My daughter has harmed herself a few times last year. Things have recently escalated. She's being very secretive about her feelings. Now I realise she's not eating well, staying up very late, and I suspect she has harmed herself again

[Mama1234]

We’re going through this right now and it’s so scary…. My 11 year old daughter has recently started self harming but luckily we caught it early and she’s seeing a therapist who has given some good advice around coping strategies…. My daughter is letting me know when she wants to self harm and we’re trying to find other ways for her to deal with it, we smashed up an old laptop with a baseball bat in the garden yesterday… and having a band in her wrist to snap is helping, but it’s so scary and I haven’t got my head around why she’s doing it as she’s always been so happy….. feel like I must have missed something…..

[Portia_RO]

Hi @Nsocks and welcome to the online community. I'm so glad that you reached out - it can be really difficult to cope when your teen is self-harming, but you are definitely not alone in this journey. You mentioned that things have escalated lately and that your daughter is struggling with sleep and eating - is there anything in particular that might have prompted these changes, or have they been out of the blue?

You also mentioned that you think she might be self-harming again - are you currently concerned for her safety? When she was self-harming last year, did she talk to you about it? 

Thinking of you @Nsocks, please feel free to keep us updated on how you and your daughter are doing. 

[Portia_RO]

@Mama1234 thank you for sharing your story and offering such a kind message of support. It is so heartwarming to see that you are standing side by side with your 11-year-old while she's navigating these tough feelings. Smashing a laptop with a baseball bat sounds like a great energy release, did your daughter find it helpful? 

I completely understand where you're coming from when you say that you haven't fully wrapped your head around why your daughter would want to self-harm. It can be really confusing and difficult to hear that your child is in pain, especially if you're used to parenting a mostly happy teen. Regardless of whether it makes sense or not, I can assure you that you're doing a wonderful job of supporting your daughter without judgment by creating a safe space for her to talk about her self-harm urges and explore some healthier alternatives. 

How are you coping with everything @Mama1234 ? 

[my2kidsrock]

my child has also been self harming - started out by controlling his eating then changed to physical harm. We have found a psychologist (which we have tried others) and they talked about the self harm first, and he asked him not to self harm for the next week, until they meet again so they can assess. They suggested getting a pen and drawing on themselves instead.
This is so hard to go through, for us and to not know how to help them. My heart hurts for you, you are not alone.

[Mama1234]

Thank you so much for your reply and also for asking how I am…. I actually cried when I read it as I’ve kept this pretty much to myself and haven’t spoken to anyone and feel a bit selfish thinking about myself so for you to ask was so kind and really got to me…!! Thank you

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @my2kidsrock, thank you for sharing your experience. I am sorry to hear that your child has been harming themselves. I can only imagine how difficult that is for you as a parent. It is really great that you have been able to reach out for support and have some strategies in place until the next session. You're right, it is so difficult to witness this as a parent and to feel as though there is nothing you can do. If you are looking for more information or support, we have some articles on self harm here. 

Just so you know, I had to edit some details out of your post as we don't allow members to list methods of self-harm. Again, thank you for your response and we hope to hear from you soon.

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Mama1234, you are not selfish at all, you are going through such a difficult time. You deserve support as well We all hope things are okay on your end. Please reach out if you need support.

[my2kidsrock]

oh my gosh, I am so sorry, I will watch what I write. My apologies. Thank you so much for editing it!!

[Sophia-RO]

Hey @my2kidsrock no worries at all! Thank you for you support and effort