Sexual assault at school

[Pepper1201]

Hi - my now 14yr old daughter was sexually assaulted at school by another pupil in her year. The school have decided not to pursue the matter after a joint meeting between the 2 pupils as the assailant has learning difficulties and says he can’t even remember it happening. The assault was very confronting for my daughter and even though it took place a few months ago, is now struggling to come to terms with it and has started not sleeping. She doesn’t understand why nothing has been done and he seems to have got away with it. I’m at a loss to know what to do next.

[Breez-RO]

Hey there @Pepper1201 thank you for sharing and I am so sorry for what you and your Daughter are experiencing, especially regarding the lack of support from the school.

No doubt this is incredibly dis-empowering and painful for you as a parent. It sounds like you are really connected to your Daughter and your priority is making sure she feels safe and heard. I would definitely recommend in addition to using this space, also reaching out to the DV Connect Sexual Assault Helpline. There are services that can provide advocacy and support if you would like to further escalate this issue, and potentially get a more proactive response from the school. I believe the service is open until 11:30pm and should have a range of resources local to you to help you deal with the school, and to support your Daughter.

Would you consider attending counselling with your Daughter? Given she has to see this pupil regularly, she may need a safe space ongoing for a little bit whilst she recovers, the lack of sleep is understandable only a few months on. It could also be good for you to feel supported ongoing, this community is a really great space for that. I will tag a few of the other members too for their input and insight  

[Breez-RO]

@taokat @sunflowermom @Orbit64

[sunflowermom]

Hello @Pepper1201

I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your daughter.  Its heartbreaking that the school doesn't want to pursue.  Your daughter is very courageous for coming forward when most teens would not discuss such a matter with their parent.  She must feel very loved and supported from you. I agree with @Breez-RO to take it higher up is you and your daughter wish to pursue this.  I can only imagine the stress this has put on your family.

I hope you and your daughter can get some counseling or a support group to help heal from this devastating event.  Hugs.

[CoogeeMagic2018]

Hi Pepper21,

I’m so sorry that your daughter is going through such a difficult time. It is also frustrating that the school has opted not to take action. You do have some options. In terms of the school, you can lodge a complaint with your local police and they will take the matter further. You can also contact the Director of Schools in your area ( if in NSW) and they will also be able to work with you to find a resolution as the Department of Education deals strongly with sexual assault. I have had to advocate on behalf of a student and a suitable resolution, the other student transferred out of the school, was obtained. There’s nothing worse than your daughter having to face him every day knowing that he was not held accountable for his actions. The student I helped, a friend of my daughter’s, also did not feel comfortable telling her parents and as she was 16, she was not required to but we did help her find a counselor to support her through this traumatic event. Hopefully you can get some support for your daughter and a suitable resolution at so your daughter feels safe at school.

[Pepper1201]

Thank you for your reply. I’ve researched quite a lot now and have found the results of a Royal Commission in 2017 on Child on Child Sexual Assault. I’m going to contact the school and request an appointment to discuss further. This report will be incredibly useful as it articulates the issues and responses excellenty. Thanks again for replying.