I know this was posted a few months ago, but just thought I might reply anyway as I definitely have had this experience.
I work in the mental health field so it was not a surprise to me as I was aware of their rights around confidentiality, including the limits to that (the practitioner is obligated to break the young person’s confidentiality if they have disclosed anything that suggests any threat to their safety or anyone else’s). So from that perspective I was entirely aware that my son’s case manager couldn’t tell me anything he said without his permission; that didn’t make it easier though, as a parent, when he didn’t want me to be involved.
From the outset, when my son asked to seek help for his mental health, I told him that was his safe and confidential space and I would never invade it by asking what he said in his sessions. What I did ask of him, however, was to answer me honestly when I asked if he’s ok. Because ultimately that was really all that mattered- I wanted him to be able to talk things through with someone and get the help he needed, but I remember being a teenager and let’s be honest, they don’t want to tell their parents certain things. Maybe that’s for the best; some things I probably don’t even want to know!
I felt rejected in some ways when he wanted to leave me out of things, but I never expressed that to him because I recognised that it wasn’t really his intent; he just wanted to work through things on his own, and some of those things were hard for him to talk about with me, simply because I’m his mum. The best way I could support him was to give him the space he needed, to get the support he wanted and work through it in his own time. The psychologist is obligated to tell you if there are any concerns for your child’s safety, so at least you know that if they’re not telling you anything, then there’s probably nothing that bad to tell.
I did get brought into my son’s treatment in the end, because there were some concerns and it needed a bigger response. Even after that though, he would often ask me to wait outside while he spoke to his practitioners, and I would join him when it was ok with him. I had to put my feelings aside and respect his privacy; it was about him, not me, and that was so important for him. I have found that having given him that space, and reassuring him that it’s 100% ok for him to ask for it, he actually opens up to me more and is respectful when I explain to him why it is important for me to know what’s going on with him.
One thing I’m finding now is that self care can be quite difficult when you’re supporting a teen with mental health issues. You worry about them 24/7 and it’s absolutely exhausting. I feel sad often, angry sometimes, and honestly just so tired. It can be super frustrating, especially when they don’t communicate that well and you feel like you’re butting heads a lot. I’m looking at getting some support myself so I don’t burn out.
I hope things are better with your child now. It is so hard to watch them struggle
