Things can get better . . .

[Dad4good]

Hi everyone,

I realise that we talk about the tough times, and that's really important (after all, its in these times that we really need support). However, I just wanted to share with you a different post, one that is about celebrating the improvements.

We had always had difficulties with my son (diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, Depression, for which he was receiving treatment) but it wasn't until April 2018 that we had police knock on our door. He had called 000, telling them that he wanted to die and that he needed help to stop feeling this way.

Unfortunately, things got worse across 2018. Starting off with frequent visits to the ED (and inpatient stays at a mental health facility), then moving onto running away (some months he spent more time as a missing person then he spent at home), using drugs, having sex (with adults), getting in trouble with the police (and the court stuff that goes along with that), increased adolescent family violence, and refusal to attend nearly all mental health and youth support appointments.

By the end, our family was emotionally and psychologically exhausted. And I have to admit, I wanted him out of the house (it was impacting his younger sisters) and I was seriously doubting things would ever improve. I feared that one day, the police would come knocking, but not for support . . .

However, come 2019 and there's been a slow and continued improvement. He hasn't run away (in the past couple of months), he hasn't been violent (well not at home), he hasn't touched drugs (in the past month), he has just completed his 5 month probation period with Youth Justice (were he attended enough of his appointments to pass!), and this week he has even been helping around the house!!!!

Now things aren't perfect (last week he was expelled from school) but they are definitely better. Naturally, my well-being has also improved (I feel normal again!) and our relationship has strengthened. My son is in a much better place now and it has made a wold of difference to our family. Its not over, there are still challenges ahead, but I know that we will be alright.  

[PapaBill]

Hi @Dad4good 

So glad to hear things have improved in your family!

It is good to let people know even when things are going wrong there is always the possibility things will get better.  

I hope things continue to improve, it does seem that as some children move out of their teen years they seem to settle down somewhat and things improve.  Being able to hang in there with them as they pass through teenagehood is really tough and it is good you are seeing improvements!

[Dad4good]

Thanks @PapaBill 

[htw70]

This is very encouraging to read; sometimes I think kids do really "grow out"of certain behaviours, however the living through it and waiting is so tough...hope things are still going well for you!

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Dad4good 

Thank you so much for making this thread and sharing with us so openly the journey your family have been through. It brings me so much happiness to hear the hope in your words, and the upward trajectory that yours sons recovery is taking.

The hope that you are sharing here is so powerful! For others reading this post who are going through something similar, this says "Things can and do get better". Recovery is a journey and celebrating the wins, no matter how big or small, gives the energy to keep persevering. Very happy for you, your son and your family