Tips for parents caring for a child with anxiety issues

[Ollie-Finches]

Hi, I am a full time parent and carer for my 17 year old son who has OCD contamination and I was wondering how other parents/carers take care of themselves.

On the weekend my very fit 75 year old father had a fall off a 2 metre bank. My brother witness it and thought he was dead. Thankfully my father only suffered some bruising.

While I was at the hospital all of a sudden I felt rather anxious. I soon realised I was worrying about my father and my son (he was at home) at the same time. I went for a walk and found the hospital garden and felt much better.

Most of us who have teenagers also have elderly parents and sometimes life can be very busy and stressful with both.

I love gardening so when I need some 'me time' I go for a walk around my garden. I also love spending time with my pets.

[Mitzi · Accepted solution]

Hi @Ollie-Finches

My heart goes out to you. I can't stress enough how important it is to take care of yourself. Your son needs you, your father needs you. For many of us - that is just the way life is and we do what we need to do.

You sound like a loving person, so please - love yourself too! I'm a strong believer in the wonderful therapeutic value of pets and am glad to hear you have some. What kind have you got?

The gardening is also a great hobby. I didn't start till my son was about five, but found it was an activity we could share. He didn't want to touch the dirt - but he liked sitting outside and talking or just being with me while I planted herbs and tomatoes.

I also loved the "zen" of watering the garden and nature strip on Sunday evenings. Met a lot of my neighbours that way and it felt good to say hi, wave across the street at them; just be a part of my community and be able to give and receive a smile -- no strings attached!

[tenacious_dad · Accepted solution]

Hi @Ollie-Finches. ☺ Love the idea of sharing our ways to care for ourselves.

I like getting out doors (weather permitting) and going bush or beach with my 4wd. Like to do some camping too.

Weekdays I'll confess to being a couch potato and like to unwind with some tv and maybe gaming (if the boys will let me!). Really love cooking too, cold weather means slow cooker!!

[Ben-RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @Ollie-Finches, thanks so much for sharing with us. You are certainly not alone in feeling some strain in your carer role and i expect that as this community grows we'll need many more amazing people like you who can share their insights into good quality self-care when providing care to others. I am so glad to hear that your Father is on the mend, and can't imagine how scary that must have been!

I know that a common theme for many carers is a feeling of 'strain'. While we may manage the day to day life of support and care for our loved ones, there is often a feeling that there's not much room for anyhing else in addition to that. Many of the carers i have spoken to in my time have felt they haven't had the energy for growth and exploration of their own lives and less room still to face a new challenge. I am wondering if you felt like you 'ran out of room' or a little bit overloaded in the face of this new and incredibly tough event?

[Mitzi · Accepted solution]

Hi @Ollie-Finches

My heart goes out to you. I can't stress enough how important it is to take care of yourself. Your son needs you, your father needs you. For many of us - that is just the way life is and we do what we need to do.

You sound like a loving person, so please - love yourself too! I'm a strong believer in the wonderful therapeutic value of pets and am glad to hear you have some. What kind have you got?

The gardening is also a great hobby. I didn't start till my son was about five, but found it was an activity we could share. He didn't want to touch the dirt - but he liked sitting outside and talking or just being with me while I planted herbs and tomatoes.

I also loved the "zen" of watering the garden and nature strip on Sunday evenings. Met a lot of my neighbours that way and it felt good to say hi, wave across the street at them; just be a part of my community and be able to give and receive a smile -- no strings attached!

[tenacious_dad · Accepted solution]

Hi @Ollie-Finches. ☺ Love the idea of sharing our ways to care for ourselves.

I like getting out doors (weather permitting) and going bush or beach with my 4wd. Like to do some camping too.

Weekdays I'll confess to being a couch potato and like to unwind with some tv and maybe gaming (if the boys will let me!). Really love cooking too, cold weather means slow cooker!!

[Ben-RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @Ollie-Finches, thanks so much for sharing with us. You are certainly not alone in feeling some strain in your carer role and i expect that as this community grows we'll need many more amazing people like you who can share their insights into good quality self-care when providing care to others. I am so glad to hear that your Father is on the mend, and can't imagine how scary that must have been!

I know that a common theme for many carers is a feeling of 'strain'. While we may manage the day to day life of support and care for our loved ones, there is often a feeling that there's not much room for anyhing else in addition to that. Many of the carers i have spoken to in my time have felt they haven't had the energy for growth and exploration of their own lives and less room still to face a new challenge. I am wondering if you felt like you 'ran out of room' or a little bit overloaded in the face of this new and incredibly tough event?

[readthemanual]

Ollie-Finches, I totally understand the pressure of being middle-aged, with both parents and children to take care of. We really need to take care of ourselves first.

Good job Mitzi! It sounds like you are really taking care of yourself and enjoying life. 

I had always been physically inactive in the past but started to walk from last year. I feel that 30-45minutes excercising everyday really help me deal with the stress of life.

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[SM548]

Hi, @Ollie-Finches.

Firstly, I want to salute you for what you are doing. The stress that you are taking but still you take care of both, your father and your son. As you said that your son has OCD contamination and your father recently had a fall. Taking care of them both at the same time is really a tough task and you are doing both is really good because I know that taking care of a person who has OCD is really hectic. I have a friend who also has OCD and taking care of him is very challenging. I regularly spend time with him, Take him out for a drive sometime, talks to him really politely and humbly and doctors also recommend this. But I would suggest you give some time to yourself. Gardening is really good but you should do some other things also like reading novels, go out with your friends, and watch some interesting stuff like movies or documentaries. One more thing I can suggest you, join some other discussions online and let others know about parenting tips as you are a parent, in fact, a very great parent.