I thought I might talk a little about our experiences with law enforcement at various levels as I think so many parents find themselves dealing with police and the law when they had never dreamed it would happen to their family. I also realised I’ve been posting on this forum since 2017- so perhaps others may be able to add to this topic as I haven’t seen it before.
Our son, now 16, has found himself in increasing trouble with the law since 2017. It began with some truanting and damage to an abandoned house resulting in a caution. A couple more cautions for other relatively minor things were added over following months.
Then we had nights of violent, threatening behaviour at home requiring police attendance as we struggled to keep things from escalating, as we did not want anyone on assault charges. Then we had nights of violence resulting in $$$$damage to our home, and in the end personal injury to my husband. We know the violence has all been fuelled by illegal drug use. Over the months we have ‘lost’ our gorgeous, bright, caring, gentle son and now have an angry, bitter, resentful son who believes he has been badly wronged by his parents and the world, and should be able to live his life with no boundaries and no consequences. This leads me to the law.
I cannot say enough, that although it is scary the first time you call the police for attendance and help, if you need help, they are always willing to give it. We have received nothing but respect, care, compassion and fairness from every officer we have had to deal with. Even when they themselves have been assaulted by our son. We have had them pop in at random times to check up on how we are. The front office staff at my local police station have been there with the box of tissues and a whole lot of care when I’ve fallen in a heap with exasperation and desperation.
Now that our our son is going through the Children’s Court we have had to deal with court registrars, duty solicitors, bail officers, court mental health staff, bail hostel staff and detention centre staff. Oh, and an incredible magistrate who is refusing to give our son wriggle room, and is keeping him ‘in the system’ and pulling out all stops to get the penny to finally drop with him! Every single one of these people have listened to us without judgement, have been reassuring, compassionate and fair. Walking into a court room for the first time is intimidating. Watching your son walk into a court room, shoeless and with a prison guard, is utterly gut wrenching. Having him then look at you with such venom is soul destroying. Not knowing what the outcome might be each time you walk in means you tend not to sleep the night before a hearing. Not knowing the ins and outs of the juvenile criminal code puts you at a disadvantage and is stressful.
I guess, the purpose of this post is to let other parents know, that if you ever find yourself on the receiving end of a call from police about your teen, they will not jump to conclusions about you as a person or parent. They will do what ever they possibly can to help you guide your teen through the risky years as best they can. The last thing those in law enforcement want to see is a juvenile in detention and they will engage as many support services to help families as they can. Yes, it is distressing, but if my experience is anything to go by, there is an enormous level of support there for families that find themselves in crisis, and that we should not be afraid when we have to engage with the law.
Would seeing a counselor be something you'd like to do? It can definitely be tricky to fit seeing someone in with other commitments, though helplines such as Parentline can make that easier. 
