No I haven't been to counselling for myself.  This forum is my counselling.  Between my daughter's various appointments and her school refusal I've had a hard enough time working my 3 days (5 hours a day) a week. 2.    I have a new problem. I have worked for the same company for 30 years and know the business inside and out.  The owner wants to send me overseas for a week in May to audit one of our branches.  My husband will be on leave in May and can look after our daughter.  But I am her support person and far more sensitive to her moods and needs.  It makes my physically sick (hot flushes and stomach cramps) to think of leaving her for this week.  I want to go but cannot help thinking I am deserting her.  I know May is a long time away and she could be happy and settled by then.  What if she needs me? How will I cope so far away? ... View more

Thanks for your concern . Yes we are safe. Things are good the last 3 weeks.  I think as a parent I am going thru different stages of emotions, if my last post sounded a bit off. Fear, terror, compassion, exhaustion have been a part of my life for 16 months. And now that things MAY be calming down, anger.  Also apprehension that school is about to begin again.   ... View more

Kids are lazy. My daughter too used to urinate in her room.  My husband took the door off for a day and told her she has to earn the right to privacy.  It's a hard one regarding the internet.  I think this is a serious issue that our service providers need to address.  We turn our internet off at night and our daughter cannot turn it on without our knowledge. However I feel in your partners case this would not work, as they would bully her until she turns it on.   ... View more

Not a problem at all these days wearing glasses.  In my daughter's case it is no biggie. Good luck. ... View more

I don't think our teens can handle their emotions.  This way it is not their fault.  Physical injury to your husband and damage to your property as well.  If they don't acknowledge there behaviour they don't experience guilt and remorse.  Which is why in my option there behaviour does not improve.  And we parents are too worried to make them take a close look at themselves.  How can we when they threatened Suicide? ... View more

What a wonderful post. I sheltered my daughter's behaviour from the police. I too have been in the local police station for advice and the staff are compassionate and offered suggestions.  But a couple of months ago she fouddnd herself in the back of a police wagon for drunken behaviour.  I think it did her good to know that I couldn't intervene and that there are laws that we all must abdide by.  However in saying this I am sure that she will find a way to drink again.   Y ... View more

It's a hard long road. My daughters various problems began at 13 too. She is now 14. Life is a rollercoaster of emotions for her and now me. I currently have her engaged with CAMHS. The waiting list is long and at the beginning it's seems a waste of time. But after a few visits they are well worth the effort your child.   Look CAMHS up if you are in Australia and get on their waiting list asap. All the best ... View more

I hear you! It's hard getting support. I found that headspace etc were too busy, a system not coping. If you can afford the private path call lots of practices, leave your name on many waiting lists.  However they don't have a magic wand. It takes weeks for a relationship between your child and the psychiatrist to develop.  I found that all of the running around to appointments very stressful.  And my daughter's emotions are so eratic that most times she didn't have appointments on the days that we needed them most.   Did your son start high school this year?  My daughters issues began in high school.  I firmly believe the are too young to go to high school, they still need to feel protected at 13.  My daughter did not feel safe a high school.  I removed her when things were at there worst and did home schooling for a term and the change in her behavior was remarkable.  She now is Year 9 and started term 4 at a very small, all girls school.  Things are better than when she was in public school. Even though she attempted suicide again 2 weeks ago.  I find taking her for a walk helps at times... She seems to be able to talk and express herself better then.  I don't push and let her start the conversation.  You just have to keep going, because you love them (even though you feel you are in an abusive relationship, with you being the victim)  my marriage is not in good shape because of all of this either. But you do need to look after yourself anyway you can.  Even if it is having 5 minutes sitting in the bathroom alone.       ... View more

ash3826 I enjoyed reading your post. Even through this is a forum for parents, your post  has given me some comfort that there is light at the end of the tunnel. At times I am filled with despair. I love my daughter and only want her to be healthy and happy. I am pleased that you yourself are doing well.  In order to keep my daughter safe I have removed her from school and am home schooling her. I say safe ... meaning that school seems to have a lot do with her eractic behaviour and self harming. She is healthier in mind, but home schooling is a sacrifice for me.  It is not easy being a parent.  All the best ... View more

Thought I would let you know how things were going since you asked. My daughter behaviour has improved greatly since I removed her from school. She is just like a normal teen now. The home schooling is going well, except maths. She will be enrolled at the New school for the start of term 4. So just one term of home schooling hopefully. Fingers crossed that she will be happy there. It appears that all of the self harm in its various forms were to do with school. Hopefully one day she will share with me what went on there that disturbed her so much. I saw on the news the other night that home school has increased by 90 per cent... I think that this is a real issue that over government has to look at. ... View more

Patenting is difficult! It's been the hardest thing I've ever done.  I find myself wishing the years away to get it over and done with.   My 13 yr old daughter, attempted to kill herself 3 months ago, is now on medication and sees a psychologist weekly.  I had all my hopes that this year would be better, but it is not. School is worse - she has gone to school only 2 days out of 4.  Luckily the school is being very obliging and are looking at changing her schedule.  But I believe this is part of the new problem I am experiencing.  My daughters has learnt to demand what she wants as I have been walking on egg shells out of fear of hurting herself again.  Tonight whilst her Dad was at work she wanted me to buy her beer. When I refused we threw things at me, found the hidden medication threatening to take it all and even locked me outside when I popped outside to get away from her.  I told her to take the pills, thinking this time I would just leave her at the hospital and not staying with her.  Luckily she was bluffing as I thought she was.  But this drama went on for 90 minutes.  With no apology at the end of it just the request that we pretend it did not happen.  My fuse is getting very short as I have no control and she is bullying me.  I strongly believe that being compassionate and supportive has created a monster   ... View more

@taokat,  thanks for asking.  I have decided to leave the tattoos for now.  I think it will serve as reminder to my daughter that actions have consequences.  This may sound a bit baths, but frankly I am tired of fixing things to make my daughter's life easier. There is no appreciation for all that I do.  I am spending a fortune on psychiatrist and psychiatrist fees. Buying clothes, getting her hair coloured and styled.   She has been nagging me for months for nose and lip piercing which I don't want to do.  But she says she needs it to feel that she is showing her style and it will make her feel good about herself.  I just don't know if she is taking advantage of my fear that she will try to commit suicide again.  I only let her get her hair coloured black with blue streaks because of this.  I think she is wanting to look goth-emo.  She wears black nail polish and studded neck collars. Last time she had her hair coloured with pink streaks, she refused to go to school and tried to commit suicide.  Back to school next week and I am anxious, will her newly coloured hair cause the same issue? Surely getting face piercing will only compound this.   I allowed her to get her ears pierced twice in the lobes and she pierced one ear another two times. She says pain is her friend.  She wants to do those terrible piercings that makes holes in the ear lobes. I feel I have lost control as a parent as I feel I have to give her whatever she wants (clothes,hair,piercings ) as she tells me it effects the way she feels about herself.   ... View more

Hello Unfortunately you   have reach out for help in a forum for parents of teenagers so you probably will not get the help you are seeking here. But hopefully the coordinator of this site will see your cry for help and contact you.     I hope you feel better soon. This time of year sucks because all of the mental health professionals are on holidays. Just know that you are not alone and many many people are struggling day to day   ... View more

 My 13 year old daughter sneaks food into her room. With all of her other issues this is a minor concern only. I do stress with her that she cannot eat only salty snacks and soft drinks. She has to eat fruit and vegetables too. Luckily she has identified herself that she feels like carp when she does not eat well.  I also limit the volume of unhealthy food in the house as it disappears as soon as I buy it ... View more