Chronic health conditions and teenagers

[Tuffy]

My three adolescents 18, 15, 13 have a medical condition which over the years has affected their general health, school attendance and social activities including sport. They have been through some tough times including significant time in hospital but also have learnt a great deal of resilience. 

I am happy to discuss or share with other parents who may have struggled with issues around eg getting them to school, social isolation (not being able to keep up with peers), school work, mental health issues. 

I am proactive with their needs as I am a registered nurse and am confident with the avenues to pursue their needs. However this has also meant that I probably focus too much on their health when ultimately it may be okay. I am learning to 'stress' less and trying to worry less. 

I have very very good support both through family friends and medical team which I am grateful for.

My children amaze me.

[Ngaio-RO]

That's amazing @Tuffy You do an amazing job supporting three teens with their specific health needs.

I hope lots of parents looking after teenagers with health problems find their way here to share stories.

Do you find that their health impacts their mental health? 

[Chilliab]

Hi
This is exactly what we are going through - I have a 15year old son who is really struggling, he has a chronic health condition, complicated by Chronic pain, migraine, nausea and leg pain (associated to his health condition) j am at a loss as to what to do with him and where to take him. He spends most of his days in bed and I know the mental health aspect must be at play here too. Just don't know how to turn things around, his health won't necessarily ever improve and he has suffered like this all his life. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[Tuffy]

Hi there
You sound like you are having a difficult time with your son. It can be very draining trying to work out how to help them.
I spent a great deal of time sourcing the right medical support which obviously depends on the condition that he has. My first suggestion would be a good talk to your gp then perhaps a referral on to the right specialist (paediatrician can be very helpful).
I also spent a lot of time getting the right support through their schools. This can take time but is essential.
Most teachers are very keen to help and support and there is usually a main person to discuss health issues and pastoral care with you.
It takes time and sometimes is frustrating when things don't happen quickly or they need reminding of issues but it is worthwhile.
My three children are now very aware and much more proactive of their needs but it has not always been easy.
It sounds like he has school avoidance too do this really needs addressing through the gp and the school counselor to help him.
My youngest benefited from shorter days initially as a way of easing him back to school after he had been very unwell.
Just remember that you are doing your best and supporting your son but that it is also ok to say you need help.
Good luck .

[Ngaio-RO]

Wonderful suggestions @Tuffy It's so great to have your experience in the forums.

I know getting your son up and moving is the ultimate goal @Chilliab but in terms of supporting him with his emotional and mental wellbeing, have you thought about suggesting a forum like this one?

Reach Out Youth Community which you can check out here, is a vibrant and supportive space for young people. There are a number of young people there who are experiencing health issues too. And exactly like here, the goal of the community is to support each other to feel better so there's a good chance your son may get support to get himself moving. There's also Beyond Blue Youth although their common ground is experiencing depression, whereas Reach Out is just being between 14 and 24 years old.

[Sophi-RO]

Hey @Chilliab - sounds like you could do with some extra support - we have an online program with a professional that can help you develop a parenting action plan to help with the issues you discussed. Check it out here: Click here

[Red21]

I loved "my children amaze me". And felt the same about you also.  

Stress less sounds great idea ...it is an essential to our (parents well being) even if only to assist our children some more, Did u find ways to stress less?

I asked my kids permission this year , (reverse pyschology lol) , can I go back to yoga.  both my kids said same - you deserve to mum, you are a nicer mum when you do yoga, you love yoga why did you stop, and they Told me to go!  Now it's. win win, I am healthier happier and the kids too ,  ecause they saw me doing so much for them - they honestly felt better watching and supporting something for me.  Yes I agree whole heartedly "amazing kids"