Exhausted teenage/sporty son

[Sunny]

We have a son who is doing really well in his sports, however that means no school holidays for him when he can just sleep in and do nothing. This has been ok up to now, but he is growing again and feels as he cannot operate any more. At the moment he's decided to have a two weeks of break from training, however he feels it's not the exercise that he wants to cut back on, but the school work. He finds difficult to concentrate in the mornings and just needs to eat and sleep in the afternoons and night. I have already sent a letter to his school mentioning this to them. However, it seems as the only area in life he cannot take it easy is education. 

Is there anyone else who has the same issue and would have any suggestion on how to overcome on this issue without damaging his reputation at school?

[Chalke5 · Accepted solution]

Hi @Sunny have been reading this thread and have been in your shoes.  We have spent many holidays at home driving to sporting events over the years.  My 16 year old son has an exhaustive sporty life.  He started year 11 this year and did not put in any effort at school.  He had loads of energy for everything else.  Recently he left school and gained an apprenticeship.  This has not interfered with his training schedule and he is a different person.  Completely happy and seems to have matured overnight.  Of course this is not what MY future held for him and it was really hard to come to terms with.  I wanted him to finish year 12 and gain a university degree.  Silly I know, and I grieved this.  Just thought my experience may provide some hope.

[TOM-RO]

Hi @Sunny, welcome to ReachOut! Thank you for sharing your experience on the forums; it sounds like a tricky situation you are trying to manage with your son in regards to finding a healthy balance between school and sports. I'm hoping some of the other parents on the forum might be able to share their experiences and perhaps give you some advice. What was the response you received from the school?

[Beingme2017]

hi @Sunny

Finding that balance between activities, school and chilling out is really hard for us adults let alone teenagers.

How much sport is your son doing? Is it early mornings only, or later in the day as well?

Also what year is he in at school and has his school results remained consistent?

I think its fantastic when our kids are into sports - keeps them energised, focused, socialised - lots of positives - but when it all feels too much then its important to see where change can happen. Hopefully you (and he) can find a way to find some downtime and balance the demands of everything a little easier

[Sunny]

Hi Tom-Ro,

I haven't received any reply to my e-mail. However, my e-mail was a follow up to the one I received from school congratulating him on his recent high level international result. I asked the teacher how the school can help supporting him, but I think this is something that they don't want to hear! 

[Sunny]

He is in the national squad and he loves it. He does a variety of exercises that he loves doing. He is in control 100% on what he engages with and what he doesn't. There is no physical burn out at all, it's all psychological with him and lack of motivation at the moment.

Hi Beingme2017,

The issue he is going through is similar to that we have after a holiday when we just can't find our places. He achieved his goal, he's got the reward for it, worked hard for it too, now it's all over and he just finds difficult to get over it. From a really high he is just nowhere at the moment and he just cannot make himself interested on writing an essay on something that is just given to him for a sake of practicing essay writing. I'm trying to motivate him from all directions, then he tries it but soon shifts away and again nothing gets down on the paper. Being 16 doesn't help either, I guess. 

To reply your question on his academic results, they were a bit lower in the last term, but he was very ill as well for 6 weeks just before and during the exams. So I expected that. Luckily this year they aren't as important then they will be in the next two years.

[taokat]

Hi @Sunny, thank you for sharing your circumstances with us. I can imagine your son must feel the pressure of wanting to excel in both sports and academics.

I'd suggest maybe going back to the school and seeing if you can organise a meeting with the year advisor, school counsellor, deputy principal and his sporting coach to discuss his academics and any changes they can make to his current workload. 

My next suggestion could be seem completely left field, but my daughter is educated via distance ed, and I know they have a lot of kids who are competing in high level sporting teams. Just another idea to throw into the mix! 

[Chalke5 · Accepted solution]

Hi @Sunny have been reading this thread and have been in your shoes.  We have spent many holidays at home driving to sporting events over the years.  My 16 year old son has an exhaustive sporty life.  He started year 11 this year and did not put in any effort at school.  He had loads of energy for everything else.  Recently he left school and gained an apprenticeship.  This has not interfered with his training schedule and he is a different person.  Completely happy and seems to have matured overnight.  Of course this is not what MY future held for him and it was really hard to come to terms with.  I wanted him to finish year 12 and gain a university degree.  Silly I know, and I grieved this.  Just thought my experience may provide some hope.

[Sunny]

Hi Chalke5,

Many thanks for sharing your experience! I greatly appreciate it! I think my 16 year old is debating the option that your son has chosen too. He is in year 10 and is looking forward to next year when he can focus on what he is interested in. He has a very high IQ and is very good at filtering out! I presume that makes our boys good at sports. However, education prefers the all rounders and those who comply easily and get on with what the authorities and the curriculum demands.

So fingers crossed for next year as it will be the make or break for us too.. I think I have settled now with the thought as I know doesn't matter what career they get into in life! As long as they take it seriously, I'm sure they will excel in that too.