Discussion forum for parents in Australia
12-04-2018 05:33 AM
12-04-2018 12:05 PM
hi, personaly being a mother of an 18 year old and having been 14 myself once, I would let her know that as soon as she thinks she wants to have sex she should go on the pill. She also needs to know that there are a lot of sexually transmitted things that can cause infertility in her future, SO, nomatter how sweet this boy is, she should use condoms and know how to put them on. Don't trust the boy. GOOD LUCK. its great she talks to you.
12-04-2018 02:20 PM
12-04-2018 02:58 PM
Hey there @Hoag2 and welcome to ReachOut
You are more than welcome to use these forums as your sounding board, it's what we're here for
It's great that you are trusting of your daughter and her choices. First loves and first time having sex can be scary but important time for some people and having a supportive parent can make all the difference.
I hope that the appointment goes well tomorrow, it's fantastic that you were able to get one so quickly! Good luck
12-04-2018 11:19 PM
Hi @Hoag2,
Sound like you have a wonderful relationship with both your daughter and her boyfriend!!!
Its a sensitive topic and people will naturally differ in their view points about the matter. Personally, I think you are doing a great job. I agree with @Ruffhead about birth control (and great that you have booked in so quickly) and talking through the 'condom issue' with your daughter (never expect a teenage boy to have this sorted out!) and I agree that it is a great time to discuss STI's (using an educative approach rather than as a fear tactic).
You may also want to show her how to go about using condoms. A while back I took my son to the supermarket, showed him how to buy condoms, and using marker (only thing I had available . . .) showed him how to put it on. Never assume your young person will know 'how' to do these things and self-efficacy is a major factor in their choice of behavior for these sort of things.
Best of luck, I hope it all works out well for you and your family
12-04-2018 11:58 PM
12-05-2018 12:26 AM
Hey @Hoag2,
I can hear your struggle. I recommend giving parentline a call. I have found them very useful when it comes to those parent issues where there is no clear answer (usually because its more about trying to understand our own value system and what baggage that brings to the situation). Again, I think you are doing a great job, and that its normal to have the worries you are experiencing with this issue. You're not alone!!!
12-05-2018 04:39 AM
12-05-2018 07:55 AM
Hi @Hoag2,
Yah its tricky isn't it. You don't want to give the message that you condone the sex, but you also want to make sure she is going about it safely. Perhaps you could have a conversation about this (i.e., let her know how you are feeling)? Do you think she would understand?
12-05-2018 01:30 PM
It looks like you’re visiting us from a country other than Australia.
We are an Australian service and think you’d benefit more from looking up a similar service in your country.
You are welcome to look around the forums, but please don’t make an account or post, as we can’t offer you the help you may need.
Before you go ahead and post, you should know that we remove non-Australian accounts – not because we don’t want to help or connect with you, but because we may not be able to provide you with the service that you require.