Son vaping

[Angel0713]

Found a vaping unit in my son's room. I am so upset. What's next? I am so stressed out. My son is a great kid. Gets great grades and is working. Where do I go from here? I have no one to talk to about this.

Thanks
Angel

[PapaBill]

Hi @Angel0713 

It sounds like you are very concerned about the vaping unit you found.

Have you asked your son about it ?

I would suggest that if you haven't that is a great place to start.

My experience with raising difficult issues is to make sure the time and location are suitable.

Effective communication involves a lot of things.. far to much to cover in a brief post but here are some of the keys ones I focus on:

Make sure you are

• in private,
• it is not too late in the day
• the person appears calm and more likely to be receptive.

When you raise the issue 

• own what you say (i.e.  I felt scared the other day when..)
• Look for solutions not to allocate blame...  ( I would like to work out a way we can)
• Avoid emotive and exaggerating words  (Huge issue.. )

And above all Seek to understand before being understood.

[Bre-RO]

Hi @Angel0713  

Welcome to ReachOut forums and thank you for coming here to share with us It sounds like this has caught you off guard - no wonder you're feeling so stressed. 

I think @PapaBill has provided some really useful tips. Do you think you'd be able to have a conversation with your son about what you found? 

Know that we are here for you to talk to  

Also just wanted to give you a heads up that I did need to edit your post as some of the content went against out community guidelines. Feel free to have a read of them here if you have some time. 

[dclems]

Hi Angel,

If I may share, the first time I saw my son vaping, I directly talked to him on what's going to happen if he continued using it.  I guess he valued what I;ve shared and did not continue using it anymore.