What can I do with a teenage boy who sleeps past midday every day.

[Murgatroyd]

My 18 yo sleeps in every day usually to midday. Somtimes much later. He's not working and waiting on TAFE mid-year intake. I know that getting enough daylight contributes to mental health. He sleeps through his phone alarm. How do I get him up before midday?

[MeJane]

Hi @Murgatroyd, I bet you are not alone in this!

What does your son think about his sleeping? When you talk to him about it, what's his take on it?

I was wondering about an approach where instead of focusing on the behaviour of sleeping to midday, focus on sleep & wellbeing more broadly.. Chatting to him letting him know that his sleep patterns are worrying your, what does he think about it? Can he explain what's going on behind it? There are so many reasons why he sleeps to midday - it could be something simple about routine through to something a bit more complicated to do with his mental health & wellbeing....

Have a read of this wellbeing info and If he's up for it, he could use an app like recharge to help regulate his sleep... You could ask him to have a read of this info from the ReachOut site for young people...

[readthemanual]

I would say people are different, some of us are just night owls, me for one. I always stay up late and sleep till late if I can. When I have a paper to write or something important, I prefer to do it at night rather than in the day time. I know my habit is not 'healthy' in the logn run but we are humans aren't we? May be your son is the same? And before he enrolls in Tafe, that maybe his only chance to be an owl?

I would think that your young man need some incentive to be more active in his life and family life. It is more important for his mental health if he is in good terms with you and other family members. 

[AmyJay]

Hello Murgartroyd,

Thanks for the post. Would you mind me asking how many hours sleep he is averaging? Is he working night shift or other and getting to sleep much later than normal for him? 

I can hear that you are hoping he develops some kind of routine before mid term TAFE intake. Can he set some goals for TAFE preparation to motiviate himself? For instance, check out any pre online modules, familiarise himself with transport to and from TAFE, check out the library etc. 

What does he hope to study at TAFE? 

Looking forward to hearing from you, AmyJay

[Mitzi]

I'm a nightowl too but I think part of our job s parents is to prepare our kids for real life. Unfortunately for most of us, that includes routine and mundane tasks - interspersed with lots of fun, friends, family etc.

You say he's not working so I assume he doesn't pay board. But is there a way you could negotiate for him to help with chores? I think it helps sometimes to have "a reason" to get up. Could he vacuum or do a few loads of washing? You might have to lower your standards when he starts! I also get my 17-y-o son to help with preparing meals for both the learning and social experience.

I wouldn't be as concerned with sleeping till midday as long as he was contributing to the household in some way.

[tenacious_dad]

Hi there @Murgatroyd

My guess is that he's probably up past midnight doing really "important" stuff like social networking, youtubing, gaming, etc?!  If so I'd only be concerned if this behaviour impinges on any responsibilities or if he does start to show signs of mental health issues.

Is he looking forward to his TAFE course?  Do you think something to do (like TAFE) will provide the motivation to get him out of bed?

If all else fails my boys usually respond to "brekkie's ready!"

[Sophie-RO]

Thanks everyone for such thoughtful response. Let us know how you go Murgatroyd...

[Murgatroyd]

It seems so obvious but I don't think I've ever asked him what he thinks of his sleeping. I've just gone straight to judgement and solution.
Thanks MeJane. I can feel a conversation coming on.

[Murgatroyd]

His Dad is a night owl. I'm not sure if it's genetic but he has certainly seen lots of night owl behaviour.
I'm liking the idea of 'incentive'. I'll be asking him what would work for him.

[Murgatroyd]

Thanks AmyJay. You've made me realise that he's getting between 8-10 hours and not missing out on sleep. As a teenage boy I think that is what he needs. Good suggestion about starting to change toward what his day (and sleep) will be like when TAFE starts.