03-30-2021 02:33 PM - edited 03-30-2021 02:33 PM
03-30-2021 03:52 PM
Thanks for this post, it's certainly a big question! It is really hard to say which parenting style is best - I'm not sure there is one definitive answer to this question. It's great that you have been so insightful about who you are and who your son is and that your considering how all these things fit together - I think this is a really thoughtful way to look at how we parent.
What ways of communicating with your son have you found to be most effective? Its lovely that you have such an understanding of how he experiences love
I think the question you have asked about the party is a really interesting and tricky one, I don't think I can say for sure exactly what the impact will be - it can be very hard to know how young people might respond! But maybe having a chat with your son about what the consequences would be/how he would feel given all the options could shed some light? Maybe asking him how he might respond if the cousins were to come and why? For example if he says he feels bullied by those cousins, it might be an idea to leave them out of this party, but if you feel his reason for not wanting them there is unreasonable if could be an idea to explain that to him.
i hope that makes sense! All the best
03-30-2021 05:00 PM
03-30-2021 11:04 PM
Hey @Ajackson, I can hear that you're feeling pretty concerned about your son being quite different from you in personality, but from the sound of things, your son sounds like a happy and healthy kid who just happens to have different interests. It can be concerning for us as parents when we see our child not having the same experiences as we did when we were young, but there's often nothing to worry about. If your son is happy and content with himself, there's no need to push him to do things that he doesn't resonate with.
03-31-2021 12:54 AM
03-31-2021 01:03 AM
03-31-2021 01:26 AM
03-31-2021 05:02 PM
Hi @Ajackson ,
I think it's wonderful how dedicated you are to being a good parent and researching the best strategies for you. As you've identified, there's a lot of factors come into play, especially in regards to the temperament of the parent and the temperament of your child.
Authoritative parenting is characterized by reasonable demands and high responsiveness. While authoritative parents might have high expectations for their children, they also give their kids the resources and support they need to succeed.
Parents who exhibit this style listen to their kids and provide love and warmth in addition to limits and fair discipline. This approach to parenting avoids punishment and threats and instead relies on strategies such as positive reinforcement."
This guide is also quite good in explaining the evidence behind this and different parenting styles that have been described in the developmental psychology literature , and I also came across a more recent journal article that goes into more depth about the nuances of the research.
If you're wanting some really specific and actionable advice around your child's specific needs, one approach might be to see a clinical psychologist who works with children and young people - they would be well placed to give you some specific, evidence based strategies to use with your son. I hope this is helpful!