"13 Reasons Why" has a lot to answer for.

[Ngaio-RO]

Hey @taokat You can let your daughter know that the show actually contravened the best practice principles about showing suicide on screen. 

Mindframe is the Australian Organisation that represents best practice when representing mental health and suicide in all forms of media. Here is the link if you want to read what they say about scenes of suicide in movies. They recommend scenes only be included if needed for the narrative, are not long and drawn out and don't romanticise it in any way. I felt that scene in the bath was so graphic, you see every single moment as it might be experienced in real life and she looks so beautiful and tragic. It's concerning the impact that might have.

It's interesting what you say about the tapes. here is a link to the ABC's 'You Can't Ask That' with survivors of suicide. Many said they didn't leave a note and those that did leave them, left very brief ones mostly just saying I'm sorry and I love you.

Can you think of a movie or tv series that you felt dealt with this issue well?

[motherbear]

Hi @taokat Thanks for giving us your view on it . Glad you got to watch it and share your views with your daughter and she with you . You sound like you have a terrific open relationship . You are right it is only meant for the screen , as a sad dramatic  confronting tragedy based on a fictional novel by Jay Asher . It's not a documentary though ? and I don't believe it was ever supposed to be . Apparently in the novel she uses a different method to the tv show . I guess this was to give maximum visual visceral experience for the viewer . I don't believe teens should watch it alone , especially those who have a history of being at risk .  Great that we are talking about this stuff ! 

[taokat]

Thank you for providing those links @Ngaio-RO. I passed that info onto my daughter and we read through the Mindframe information. She was happy to know that she wasn't just being oversensitive. That applies to me too! 

I watched the You Can't Ask That episode too. From my experience, and suicides I know of, either no note was left, or just a sorry note. The story of 13 Reasons Why didn't seem realisitc in that way either, but as I said I just wondered if I was ignorant to some aspects of suicide.

I do think it's great @motherbear that it has opened up discussion about suicide amongst teens. It is definitely a subject that needs more exposure. It does concern me however that this is the tv show that is doing that. There are so many at risk, vulnerable teens who could take the message it gives so very badly wrong. I have to say I'm so glad my daughter saw the dangers in it for her and decided it wasn't good for her to continue watching. 

I think the real life documentaries, such as Audrey & Daisy are more suitable in dealing with the issue of teen suicide and sexual assault. 

[taokat]

Thank you @motherbear, my relationship with my daughter is something I don't ever take for granted, and I love that we talk about so many things. I'm lucky! 

I agree with you, I don't think the book was written with the intention of becoming what is has. No, it's not a documentary. The author was inspired by a suicide in his extended family I believe, and he just thought the idea of using tapes was a cool one. It's not based on a true story.

I don't think teens should watch it alone either. The thing I find concerning though is it's usually through our teens that we find out about these kinds of things. How do we keep on top of what our older teens are exposed to, while still allowing them privacy and the chance to make safe mistakes? Brings up a whole new topic altogether! 

I do love that suicide is being discussed. It takes more lives than road accidents, yet does not get anywhere near the exposure or government funding. I do also love that we can discuss our different viewpoints. It gives us varying and valid angles to consider.   

[Ngaio-RO]

 @taokat I loved this:

" The thing I find concerning though is it's usually through our teens that we find out about these kinds of things. How do we keep on top of what our older teens are exposed to, while still allowing them privacy and the chance to make safe mistakes? Brings up a whole new topic altogether! "

What do you think about starting it? I think you've nailed the topic heading already.

[Ngaio-RO]

Hey guys,

Just thought I'd let you know that even in a conversation about a movie or tv show, we still can't describe specific methods of suicide.

I edited your post @motherbear changing it to "uses a different method in the book to the tv show".

I didn't at first think it needed changing but have been informed by my manager that it's a strict blanket rule.

The rationale behind it is that describing specific methods, even without any details as was yours, can still be triggering for people. We also use the Mindframes guidelines to ensure we meet best practice principles.

I hope everyone understands. Please feel free to contact me if you want further explanation.

[taokat]

I think it's a great idea @Ngaio-RO. I'd be very interested to see other parents suggestions or what works for them.

And how can I say no to that face?! 

[Jadzia]

I completely agree.

[Iriss]

May my student and I use your post as part of a study? We would like to look at common themes around talk on 13 Reasons Why. We do not intend publishing your name or quoting you directly. Paraphrases will be used to prevent an internet trace back to you. 

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Iriss,

Thank you for checking in with us. ReachOut is a public forum, so you are more than welcome to share the link to this thread with someone else to read We want to make sure that all the information posted here is relevant to parents of teens 12-18, so we would ask that if you have any information you would like to share with ReachOut about a study that you contact hello@reachout.com for more information as we don't publish studies on our site. 

All the best with your student's studies!