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Elfin

I’m new here

Hi my name is El, I’m a mother of a 7 year old boy. I have signed in today because of recent problems with him and needed to reach out. 
He always makes me laugh, the most recent thing was he made a zoo in our living room with all his stuffed animals and gave myself and his Dad tickets to get in!

I try to keep the stress levels down by talking everything through, although at the moment the stress is pretty high.

I came here today because my child has changed schools to my school where I am a teacher and is struggling at his new school socially to the point where his teachers think there maybe some condition. He has extreme low self esteem which started at his last school just last year, he has a terrible time with his teacher and completely blocked himself. It’s difficult being at the same school with all this happening. It’s actually heartbreaking and I am finding hard to cope. Especially as I am not completely in agreement with what the say. 
I don’t have a teenager but with my recent experience I would say make sure they are emotionallly strong and that they are able to recognize and process their feelings.

My best part of the weekends are family time and the beach.

I hope I can get some help here 

Thankyou

Community Manager
Portia_RO

Re: I’m new here

Hi @Elfin and welcome to the online community. Your son sounds like quite the character - reading about his stuffed animal zoo made me smile. I'm so sorry to hear that he is struggling at school at the moment and that he's experiencing low self-esteem at such a young age. 

 

I can completely understand why you're finding it hard to cope at the moment. It is one thing to hear that your child is struggling at school, but it's another thing to work there and be privy to what's going on firsthand. Do you have anyone you can talk to about what's going on for your son and how its affecting you? You also mentioned that you aren't in complete agreement with what the other teachers say about your son. What's that like for you? 

 

I can see here that the best parts of your weekends are family time and heading to the beach, which sounds absolutely lovely. It's great that amidst all of this you're able to hold onto some small moments of joy. It sounds like your son is in a similar boat and that home is a safe place for him where he can be himself. Don't underestimate the value of creating an open and accepting place for him to come home to after a tough day at school, sometimes that kind of support can make all the difference. Hang in there @Elfin , we are thinking of you.

Casual scribe
chasingrainbows

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh?

My daughter is 14yo, so sad that I can not remember at time.


2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down?

Meditate, walk the dog, but I feel that I am at the point where even this is not helping.


3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today?

An episode last night where I found my daughter bed empty and found her down an alley way 10 minutes from home, in the car ride home she bite me and I felt that what she wanted to do was go out and to be honest rather than the threats to kill her self or needing to walk at night to relieve her anger, there is so much lying, I eventually took her to the park that she was travelling to and left her there. She called me up 30 minutes later to pick her up. I have taken a phone away while she is a sleep. This was done even after she knew that yesterday my best friend passed away, the lack of empathy is alarming.
4. Whats your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years?

Eat dinner together and family time is not negotiable.
5. Whats the best thing about weekends?

A sleep in and freedom.

Mod
Sophia-RO

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hello @chasingrainbows I'm sorry to hear about what you have been going through lately. It sounds like thing have been really tough for you. It's great that you have some coping strategies that you can use to help manage some of these stressful times. It sucks to hear that these are not helping as much though. I think it is great that you have reached out here for support and shared your story with us. I can see that you have shared more details on another thread, so I will share some resources that might be helpful on that thread Smiley Happy

Parent/Carer Community Champion
JAKGR8

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Sorry to hear about your struggle. It sounds like you reacted wisely. How is it now?
JA
Parent/Carer Community Champion
JAKGR8

Re: I’m new here

This is tough. I strongly promote that parents know their children best, however, teachers seem exempt from this. I encourage you to remain open to others and consider their ideas.

 Our eldest is high functioning autistic. He coped well with our and teacher help until University. Now we struggle. 
Just reflect and remember that having tests or assessments done, may not help, but at least you know. 

I’m going to think about this more but wish you luck. 
Big hugs

JA
Parent/Carer Community Champion
Birdwings

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Dear Chasing Rainbows, 

I started writing a more detailed response to your other post, and I could quite get my head around what to say and then I found this message. I just wanted to send you a hug and a bit of love right now. I'm so sorry to hear that your best friend passed away, and your grief and sadness there, and then your daughter's behaviour. Heart breaking. It must be hard to make sense of all of this, but I just wanted you to know that someone out there in the ether is thinking of you and metaphorically holding your heart in my hands. 

You haven't mentioned her you're daughter is receiving   professional help. Even she won't go, perhaps you could go and have a chat to someone and trying to implement a few things, or at least to feel have backup. That's been my approach. In addition to psychology, there are also mental health occupational therapists who might be worth considering. 

Please keep coming back here if it helps.

Love,

Birdwings

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Mkc123

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

My son is 15 he battles often with anxiety, depression and self harm he has a high IQ but struggling in school because he just shuts down, I also struggle with some health issues and there are days dealing with him is almost more that I can handle ! He goes to a therapist every other week , his school counselor called me today that he was in her office on the point of hitting himself , I need other parents who understand, as far as what to tell other parents get help for your child and yourself, and as far as the weekend we really don't have anything special,
Community Manager
Iona_RO

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Message contains a hyperlink

Hi @Mkc123 

Welcome to the community Smiley Happy

 

It sounds like you and your son have a lot going on at the moment, so I'm really glad you've reached out for some support from us and other parents here. 

 

If you'd like to chat a bit more in-depth about your current situation with your son, please feel welcome to create a post here.

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Bestie009

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hello everyone here!
To indroduce myself, we have a list of questions. So, there are my answers:
1.  I have my lovely daughter, she is 5 years old. Recently she tried to feed her hair to grow fast Smiley Happy so funny!
2. To decrease my stress level, I try to have a special time just for myself. Luckily, my family understands my needs.
3. I am here, at the ReachOut Parents to keep in touch with other parents, because sharing experience is very important for all of us here. So let's appreciate ourselves, we are cool!
4. I actually do not know - maybe, to be extrapatient. Also it is important to remember that you used to be teen too.
5. The best thing you can do at the weekend is to spend it in your way!

Wish you all the best!

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