A Parent's Priorities

[PapaBill]

Hi Everyone

Got an interesting Instant Message from my now 18 year old this morning.

"Can you remind me of your priorities for raising children - eg. they're safe, feed etc with happy coming later?"

No idea what he wanted it for but it did raise an interesting question.

What do you think our priorities should be?

This is the reply I sent

1.  Physical safety

2. Emotional protected from things that can hurt them

3. Fed, Clothed, etc

4. Teaching them to understand responsibilities and consequences for actions

5.  Develop social awareness and consideration for others

6. Assist in development of life skills to allow development into healthy independent successful adults

7. Making them happy at this particular point in time 

[Dad4good]

Hey @PapaBill ,

Don't mean to get too academic (but depending on your son's reason for asking . . .) there is a framework for that: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

[JAKGR8]

Yes @PapaBill I too wonder why he is asking the question. You make great points.

I put physical and emotional safety together, as I tell my anxious teen, there is no point to being physically healthy if your mental health is down. As for the happiness factor, you might like the thread I started a while back 

[Taylor-RO]

Definitely a question to get us all thinking... with some great answers and support provided. I also wonder why your son was asking the question too @PapaBill. Do you think this might be an opportunity to open up the dialogue? It could be really important to explore this... or may just be another one of many questions. Either way, it would definitely be interesting to know where he was going with it. Keep us updated

[PapaBill]

Thanks for the replies.

Apparently my son was talking with one of his friends who had an assignment to argue "Modern Parents are to Authoritarian" and my son mentioned I have always said that keeping him happy was not my #1 priority.

My son mentioned his dad (me) had shared a list of priorities I have for being a dad.

My children and I have talked about this over the years about how I see our relationship. 

I am I am not their friend, I am more than that I am their dad.

I love them, I care and want the best for them and it is NOT my mission in life to keep them happy 100% of the time.    Their momentary happiness is important but there are things as a father that is more important than keeping them happy all the time..