In my opinion, unless there’s more to the story or why your daughter is so mad. IF the reason is legitimate where you did something harmful toward her abuse wise (not implying but just saying In that case, leave her alone). However I don’t believe that’s the case. She’s 13, she’s mad about something. If her parents were together, she’d have to be around you. I’m not sure what happened but maybe you punished her, didn’t give her what she wanted, offended her, who knows. But she’s 13 and in my opinion, it’s not her choice. Children are given too many options. If you’re a fit parent , she comes to you. She can whine, cry whatever. I would force her (with reason) lol . And if she refuses over a trivial matter, then any financial “extra” or “want” you contribute to, take your contribution. Not for necessities. Parental alienation with a child with no proof of harm you’ve caused, shouldn’t have a choice. And depending on your court agreement, you should get her instead of the grandmother. Guaranteed she didn’t ask your daughter and if she did, there’s incentives given that make you look bad. My mother was like that. At 13, my mothers spoke horribly about my father. I’d go there with the worst attitude and no respect. Basically on a throne. He kept quiet but eventually lost it and told me some truths and showed some documents. To be honest, I’m glad he did. I can’t imagine if he allowed me to be a manipulated and entitled brat forever. Your daughter won’t hate you forever. You’re her parent. Until you cause her actual harm, that’s that . I’m curious the reason she’s mad at you because that defines the proper solution
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Hi @HM911 sorry to hear about the struggles your son is going through and the stress and heartbreak you are experiencing. It is painful to see your kids hurting so much. When my daughters depression was at its worst she was admitted to hospital on two separate occasions when we were concerned for her safety. Her first stay in hospital was in an adult ward (she was only 16 years old at the time) She rang me that night crying that she wanted to come home. My heart was breaking.... I knew it was not the most ideal environment for her, but I knew she had to stay - for her safety as well as my peace of mind. We managed to get her into an adolescent ward for her second stay in hospital, which was much more suited for her.
Although, It is challenging and difficult coping with the anger and the tantrums, it sounds like you have a close relationship with your son and it is of great comfort to your son to have you close by.
You mentioned your son was on medication. Discuss with the psychiatrist your options in regards to medication and hospitalisation. You may be able to receive the right treatment without the need for a hospital admission. A hospital stay will come with its own stresses and challenges, so best to get advice from your health professionals about how the hospitals can help. Although, if you are ever concerned for your sons safety do not hesitate to take him to hospital.
One thing I would recommend, is making sure that you look after yourself - the one thing I did not do!
I would have been a better person and parent if I got the help I needed at the time.
My daughter just turned 18. She is still on medication and has regular therapy to manage her depression, but the absolute worst is behind us, and I am grateful that our life has mostly gone back to "normal".
Please make sure to take care of yourself and continue to use the forums for support... there are many parents who have had similar experiences here to help
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