What a horrible situation for you alll . Your gut instinct as a mum is powerful. Hold your ground, even when it’s uneven. You are being a fantastic parent ... View more

What a horrible situation for you alll . Your gut instinct as a mum is powerful. Hold your ground, even when it’s uneven. You are being a fantastic parent ... View more

@Jagg64 Your children's safety and well being are paramount. If this person is a convicted offender then your only job is to keep them safe. I am sorry but it sounds like this may mean a rift with the grandparents. So hard for you but massive snaps for being aware and on the ball.  ... View more

We definitely are the bad ones when they feel we are holding them back or don’t understand . If it helps any , they like you again eventually. Hang in there ... View more

Hi @lizard0812 Oh boy he is giving you a hard time at the moment! The risk taking behaviours such as smoking can often be from wanting to fit in with his peers. Do you know his friendship group well? With my two boys I often noticed that big swings in out of character behaviour often occurred when there were new friends on the scene. I hear what you are saying about how much it hurts to have your baby boy act in this way. It was much simpler when we could fix things with super hero pajamas and hot milo. By just being there as a constant you are providing protective factors that help balance his risk ones at the moment. I know it doesn't feel like it but you are doing great mumma.  ... View more

Hi @Troubled75 Such a tough time for you and it is so hard to see our children unsettled. 14 is such a tricky age for boys also as their hormones are playing havoc. The best advice I can give you from a parent that has had a child (16 now 17 year old boy) go through the mental health system is that often the first placement is not the right fit . It is ok to speak up and ask for a different counsellor/psychologist if you feel this one is not working. I also feel for you copping his outbursts. It sucks being on the receiving end but they do it to us as we are their safe space and I guess it is a way of them showing that everything is not ok in their world and they really don't have the skills to cope with that yet. From your last post it seems that you have a lot on your plate at the moment so it is so important to practice some self care. Even though as mums we want to fix everything , sometimes we have to accept that we just can't. How is his school? Are they on board with a plan for him? ... View more

The best thing about parenting teens is getting to know them as young adults. I have loved developing these new relationships with them, seeing them grow personally and professionally and follow their individual pathways, It's really nice discovering that you have raised pretty cool humans too! Also I have been introduced to some awesome new music through my teenagers! The hardest thing .. there are many. Allowing them to make their own mistakes in a safe way. Watching them hurt , be it through heartbreak or bullying and not being able to fix it. Having to teach 3 kids to drive ! It's terrifying and 360 hours is awful haha. Helping them navigate a technological world that we did not grow up in.  ... View more

Hi @Momm-o Parenting a 15 year old teenager is a hard job, even without the extra issues we face when we are dealing with our children that suffer mental health issues. In your post you have said that her moods have been pretty stable on the medication , which is great. Maybe the paper just had something private she didn't feel she could share with her mum on it? I know I used to write poetry at that age to work through my emotions but would never show my mum. It sounds also like you have been very active in her treatment. Perhaps it is time for another conversation with her and work out some guidelines and boundaries for you both in regards to things she feels she wants private and things you need to know to keep her well. A solid foundation of trust goes a long way. Let her know that if she breaks that trust that things will change again. Good luck and keep in touch with how things go.  ... View more

This sounds like the perfect person for helping move forward. Snaps for persevering and finding them ! It is good that you realized too that you had to take some time out from work etc. I had to do this also this year as we went through the process of accessing a mental health diagnosis for my son. It was the best thing I could do for both of us . Keep updating or just chat about other life things with us . You have got this ! ... View more

This sounds like the perfect person for helping move forward. Snaps for persevering and finding them ! It is good that you realized too that you had to take some time out from work etc. I had to do this also this year as we went through the process of accessing a mental health diagnosis for my son. It was the best thing I could do for both of us . Keep updating or just chat about other life things with us . You have got this ! ... View more

Haha. No offense taken . I get you . Mine is usually 3am ! ... View more

Haha. No offense taken . I get you . Mine is usually 3am ! ... View more

It sounds like your beautiful girl is already making some strong and resilient choices! I have found Headspace to be a great organization so I am sure that the help she receives will be beneficial for her. Sometimes a fresh start is what we all need . Try and get some sleep , as hard as that is . It helps us face our mountains with strength . Keep in touch with the outcome . ... View more

Completely loving it ! May be binging a little 😂 ... View more

I’ve been rewatching Packed to the Rafters . I’m finding it so much more emotional this time around as I am relating so much more to the characters due to the age of my kids and beginning to empty nest . Not going to lie. there have been tears 😝 ... View more

Hi @Help_needed It is so tough to watch our young people go through such emotional turmoil. It sounds like you are already on top of getting your daughter the professional help that is needed, which is fantastic and I hope that you will see a difference very soon. In the meantime, it appears that you are having open and honest conversations with her about what the issues are and that she is comfortable telling you. Sometimes just knowing that one person is on her side will make all the difference. Unfortunately, in my experience, this is a tough age for girls and the peer group cliques and often the words that are said can do damage. Keep chatting to her , you are far from failing. you are doing amazing. This is a good resource for you too. Hang in there. https://parents.au.reachout.com/skills-to-build/wellbeing/friendships-and-teenagers ... View more

Hi there Firstly I would like to say how beautiful it is that you are willing to look for solutions for your stepdaughter rather than ignoring her obvious anxiety and trouble with coping skills. 16 year old girls are tricky as at this point there are many other emotions and influences that are also impacting on their ability to think with a clear head. Add to that the expectation that is placed on them in year 10 to choose a pathway which will shape how they achieve a HSC mark or ATAR. It sounds like she has just become so overwhelmed that she has just not started, I love the dinner idea , it will allow open discussions with her about what she is thinking she may like to do and what she needs to do to get there. Going into the next two years it is important from the start to let her know that the senior years do not define her whole future, if goals change or marks are not achieved there are many ways to reach destinations other than an ATAR. Finally be honest about how her actions make you feel. Let her know that it is normal to feel scared and overwhelmed as well as upset and angry but it is not ok to treat those that love her poorly. You are both doing a great job. Just keep being present.  ... View more

Hi everyone. This is a great topic for discussion as it is so overwhelming when you are unsure where to go. I have had to access support services for both my daughter when she was quite young ( around 15 I think) and more recently for my 16 year old son. With my daughter I had noticed that she had been caught up in a cycle of emotional abuse from the boy she was dating and also from so called friends at school. I had also noticed some signs of self harm and also a very unhealthy reliance on being connected through social media. I made an appointment for her through Headspace to see a counsellor. The day came and she stood at the doorway , stared me down and told me she hated me for making her do this, that she would never forgive me and that there was no way she would speak to the counsellor once in there. She did one session and never went back but it was enough for her to realise that she was in very unhealthy habits. Jump forward and she is now 21 and does not hate me ;-) The 16 year old boy has been a harder journey. I began to notice around 6 months ago manic mood swings, rapid weight loss, inability to socialize and intense reactions to small situations. Instantly the warning bells went off for me as my brother who has bi-polar had the same symptoms from around the same age. As a family we discussed with him that his behaviours were not normal and that he may need help. he arced up against us and shut himself in his room. Later I went in and told him if he can't talk to us he needs to speak to someone. Around midnight that night he sent me a text to say that he felt he did need someone. We again accessed Headspace , however with around a four week wait I also enlisted the help of a friend who is a psychologist to informally chat with him. Once in Headspace he is now under a GP and the mental health plan with a psychologist and is on medication. The first lot of medication did not work and made him worse so always make sure that they adjust it! We also have amazing support from his school who have a plan in place for him going into year 12 to ensure that he is able to get through without compromising his mental health. He is confident enough to say on his bad days " I am not well today" which is all you can ask for. Early intervention is the key. Don't be afraid of them hating you, it's better than the alternative. ... View more

Hi there @canadianmum It certainly is a hard journey parenting teens , let alone those that present with mental health issues. I think the hardest part for us as mums is taking a step back and accepting that none of what is happening is our fault. It sounds like you are doing all the right things as far as accessing support for your daughter , however I agree with @gina-Ro in that you also need to access support for you . It sounds as though the family dynamic is causing you more anxiety than positivity at the moment and it is perfectly okay to remove yourself from those situations if that is what is needed for the best self care for you and your daughter. I also think we tend to walk on eggshells a lot of the time with our teens that are struggling with mental health as we are afraid of tipping them over, yet they still need to know we care about them enough to put in the same limits as we would if they were well. Let her know its ok to feel angry and sad yet it hurts you when she lashes out. You are doing an amazing job, I could not even fathom doing it as a single mum.  ... View more

Will have an early night zzz ... View more

My personal favourite mantra which was given to me in a card as a supporter of Youth off the streets is "Never ever give up on yourself. You are worth fighting for."  I completely understand where you are coming from in regards to grasping technology . I have recently completed a BA in Community development via correspondence and assignments and tasks that would be smashed out quickly by my younger peers such as powerpoints and voice recordings took me a lot of time and frustration as I had to basically teach myself how to do it. Nothing can compare though to graduating and receiving my degree, so stick with it! Also in regards to your past experience , unfortunately I have also learned that bullying does not stop in high school and we are faced with them in the adult world. The way we take away their power is by being in control of our responses to them. Noone has the right or the power to diminish your self worth if you do not allow it. You are amazing to be changing you path to something that is better. You have got this! ... View more

Thanks so much! Very excited to be part of such a positive initiative.  ... View more