Thank you Jess1-RO, What I've shared thus far is only a snippet, there's so much more to this story of my life. I was the dutiful daughter all my life, overcompensating for the brother & sister's absence in our parents life, I was the "Go Too" saviour on all fronts for all of them, the cement keeping the family together, silent about mental illness, addiction, abuse, narcissism to keep the peace, I loved my family unconditionally although the brother & sister could take it or leave it, until after 40ty years I was no longer silent which hasn't gone down well..... I'm the ogre who lifted the rug. Support...hmmm, there is no family support whatsoever, I was the support, I learned very early on in life there was never any support for me, they simply weren't capable of it. On the family front there is one ole Aunt hitting 80 who I can talk too but lives in another state. Friends have become my family, long term friends, thank god for them, they keep me sane & have supported me through some dark times, particularly throughout our daughters treatment & the peadophile issues. The family peadophile is not the only one to cross our path, there was also another community peadophile who was taken to task during our daughters treatment of which I was key witness...he got 10 years...sooooo could have done without that coming to a head whilst trying to save a life...doesn't sound like reality does it but unfortunately is fact. There have been times I've contemplated talking to a psychologist, if only to cry my heart out & get it all off my chest, but when you're one wage down with mounting medical bills that support was/is beyond my/our reach. I've done much reading & research which has helped me understand the whole dynamics of this dysfunctional family....& it's not my fault...I refuse to go down the path of self blame...instead I acknowledge how **bleep** hard I have tried & all the effort I've put in over many years until I simply gave up...& moved on, problem is they chase me down trying to drag me back into my allocated family role....the doormat...I'm not entering into it which seems to aggravate & also seems they will stop at nothing. But yes, I probably need professional support as sometimes friends are at a loss no matter how hard they try, they don't have the answers, it's also not something I speak about too often these days, as I'm trying to put it behind me but when the abusive calls start it freshens it all up again.
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