Hi, As a 35 year old Mother of an almost 17 gay son, in the eyes of the law and definitely Social Services your Son is a Minor he's under 18 and this person is an adult. It totally sickens me I had my son at 18 so there is a 17 year age gap between your son and this man and 18 years between myself and my son. I wouldn't and couldn't look at or think of a 17 year old in that way they're nowhere near an adult in the mind. Personally I would contact the police as the buying headphone's looks like grooming behaviour. My Mum was a child protection social worker for over 20 years I am lucky I am very aware of the uses of Social Media for grooming. While your son is under 18 you could get him to agree to webwatcher or something similar it notifies you of any bullying, grooming behaviour or anything that puts your child at risk. He is 17 now, so he probably won't agree, but if there is nothing to hide and it only sends alerts suitable for his age he might agree. I would be majorly concerned how do you know this person is who they say they are? They could be a registered sex offender using a different name. My son became friendly with someone roughly 5-6 years older it only took 2 weeks of me not checking his messages, my son was 13, the other man was 18/19 maybe a victim of abuse himself he used every trick in the book sending images of self harm, threatening suicide and manipulating and insisting my son had to send indecent images fortunately my son didn't back down although there were some of this man for the police to see. . My son honestly thought this horrid pervert was going to kill himself the night he stayed at my Parent's he got my Dad to drop him off there and lied saying it was a friend from School ( this would never have worked with me, i'd have wanted to see who he was meeting and meet the parents). Anyway the man tried it on, plus trying to touch him outside of his trousers, He pushed him over and ran, he was very lucky. I knew as soon as e came home and he told me everything. The person was charged not with much at all . They use snapchat ( it's gone after 5 seconds unless the person screenshots the image) more than factime anything on FaceTime is traceable and Facebook once deleted the police can retrieve. After me being so aware and checking messages ( not reading those to his friends, just older people I didn't know) warning them off and anything inappropriate a phone call to the police I thought my son wouldn't be at risk. This man shouldn't be seeking out a 17 year old. I would make the police aware and talk to my son letting him know why, these people are so cunning, charming and manipulative and even if not a registered sex offender many just haven't been caught. You could contact the police with your concerns and find out you are not the only one. someone I had reported I later received a phone call about as many Parent's had found much worse on their children's phones etc, fortunately i'd scared him off so there was nothing to report other than what I had prior. My son agreed after coming out that I could monitor his Facebook and Social Media activity, know he's almost 17 I know the time will come at 18 when maybe I can't use one of the apps to keep our teenager's safe and I have put his true age so it gives me peace of mind and anyone who is not within his age range contacting him or grooming behaviour I will be notified. I feel my son had a wake up call that has made him much wiser he blocks everyone now who is older or he doesn't know. It is scary for us as Parent's as we want to be understanding and not go against our child's wishes, but keeping them safe is paramount. Maybe ask if you can talk to this man, in England Sarah's law is finally out so if you or a minor are in a relationship the police will run a background check/ criminal record. Again it is very hard to get a conviction. One of the things my Mum told me was to make sure he doesn't ever have his School or college on Facebook, it's very easy to ask the colour of a uniform and what area they live in they already know what your child looks like they're easy to find. I don't mean to scare you, but I would definitely advise talking to your son about informing the police for your own peace of mind, if nothing shows there. I would encourage him to mix with people his own age. Personally I wouldn't let him meet this man he could get snatched he could be part of a paedophile ring. I find it very odd a man of my age would be interested in my Son's age. I'd indirectly threaten with the police to be totally honest, then see if he continues contact with your son, be well aware they try to groom the family too and gain trust. Hopefully your son will get bored of him, or have a gut feeling telling him something isn't right or maybe he wants you to do this for him? I'd put a tracker on his phone me and my son agreed to that too, well we've just linked our iphones. If he does agree to meet this man I'd make sure it's a public place and a few of you go with him and watch. Paedophile's gain trust, I don't think anything would happen at the first meeting. If this man knows you are very vigilant he'll more than likely know he's not going to get anywhere and back off, but keep in mind he has had many months of gaining your son's trust. I do hope hope this man goes away and all is resolved. I'm sorry if this seems extreme, but none of us would want to live in regret. Best wishes
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