Thank you ! this part of your message really hit home for ... Also, we have found that even though we don’t pressure our kids in this area, they will notice if we have high/unrealistic expectations of ourselves. So we don’t have to say a word for our kids to feel pressure. It’s that **bleep** role modelling thing I’ve cursed since the day they were born😬😁 which basically means ... give yourself a break. ... After my marriage ended over 10 years ago now, my daughter has seen me as being the 'strongest person she knows' ... I've probably worked too hard on the role modelling, being so worried that I was going to fail her - parenting alone has meant I am everything to both kids wrapped up in one person. She is learning that I am not and is going to test the idea. She had her school retreat the last 3 days, she has just messaged to say she's home. She also rang me on the first night and messaged me last night - the umbilical cord may stretch but it doesn't seem ready to break just yet. I think she'll be fine, but yes I fully appreciate your words about how kids feel the pressure even if it isn't articulated - Ill work on that - thanks again.
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Thank you for such a warm welcome - my daughter has always struggled academically, she's a lovely kid but school doesn't come easy for her. She is popular and funny, people like her, school is a social event. We've scaled back her courseload to just four subjects plus a TVET (Tafe) course, problem is the TVET course isn't relevant at the moment to her interests (Im not actually sure what her interests are but it isn't hospitality ha), but it was subsided by her school.
She says she is ' dumb and stupid' , she isn't going for an ATAR now and 'all' the other kids are (I suspect there's a lot of angst building with ATAR/HSC anxiety/talk amongst her peers), and I think she's disapointed in herself. Even though I have ALWAYS empahsised that I support her no matter what. Her brother is a 98 Atar kid studying Actuarial/Maths at uni, but they have both always been polar opposites and I have always supported them both equally.
End of last year we were thinking about a Child Care Traineeship (with a contact) but it fell through, I think she'd be great in Early Childhood teaching. I have great support at the school so I'll definitely use that resource if it continues. I completely understand where she is coming from but we just yell at each other these days - when I'm upset I just can't believe that she is yelling at me about things we talked about and decisions we (I thought) made together, I really don't want her to leave school without her HSC. She has 8 months to go and she will have achieved that ... Thanks for such a warm welcome - I think I'll like it here!
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Thank you! I'm trying to keep my sense of humour - but at the moment it's a challenge. I'm also the sole sibling with my brother interstate, elderly parents living across the road, it feels like a perfect storm.
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Hi, new here today! My daughter just turned 18 and my son is 21 ... my daughter makes me laugh just about every single day - my son made me laugh yesterday when he was getting his hair cut and for a minute resembled a character out of Peaky Blinders ;). I try to keep stress down by going to work (and laughing) - I came to this site today because since my daughter turned 18 (around 4 weeks ago) she's turned into a secretive, backchatting, attitude-packed kid when once she was an absolute joy to be around. She's wagging school, telling me she wants to leave school and being pretty self-centred and unpleasant in general. She doesn't do drugs, is social, works part time, goes to party's, drinks if it's that sort of party, she's been easy to parent until now. The school refusal thing and challenging me on everything this past four weeks is getting me down and I need some hints on how not to take her attitude personally. My big tip for parents is to be consistent. Make sure there are consequences for rubbish behaviour and follow through - I haven't been very good at that at all. I think because until now the kids have been easy to parent, and a firm no or a chat about things worked. The best thing about weekends is not having to get up early and go to work, spending time going out and doing something with the kids, all of us being at home and just pottering about.
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