I have just heard from Uniting Communities. My daughter contacted them. She has emergency accommodation for tonight and they will find her something more permanent when a bed comes up. We will then have family councelling about family reunification. Ive asked them to check her physical and mental well being asap. She is in contact with me and wants to cook together tomorrow night. I feel a lot more positive than I did this morning as she has stepped towards some help.
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My 16 year old is in love with a girl who completely controls my daughter. She is a master at lies and manipulation.My daughter has almost left home, and will not say where she stays. She has few friends left, the gf is a jealous type and I believe people are scared.Her relationship with us parents has broken down. For example my husband and I were uninvited to the school pupil, parent, teachers career night, and she went with her girlfriend to choose my daughters SACE subjects, year 11. I felt humiliated. We are told to **bleep** when waking her up for school or reminded about appointments, told dinners ready etc. I feel she looks like, acts like and even sounds like her girlfriend. We have been harmed threatened with harm. I feel she only comes home for money and her metro card top up. Its hard to rebuild relationships when shes home, strait into her room, on her phone, changes, asks for money because she has not eaten for days, then off within an hour because people are waiting for her.
Due to poor attendance, refusing to school rules and the negative influence of her gf on other pupils we were asked to withdraw our daughter from her school,.They are now together 24/7.
I have counceling from reachout, psycologists, forums, friends but basically apart from looking after myself, my advice I got is to rebuild our relationship and basically offer food shelter school and love.My daughter has to start to help herself. She will be back and i will pick up the pieces. I am also uninvited from my daughters medical/psych/councilling appointments. She is now refusing most of them, as soon as there is a whiff of parents being told anything, or family sessions she refuses to go to that therapist again.
I had no opposition to their same sex relationship at the start. Being my daughters first love, I told them i was happy for them. We provided a home for the gf as she told us about her own abusive home. That was all lies to get somewhere to stay. She apparently is serial. I have no doubt my daughter is now doing the same for somewhere to stay. She said she sometimes sleeps rough
The gf has broken up with my daughter 30 times this year. There is depression, tragic self harming,dramatic posts on media and then the gf takes her back.I wish she would leave for good.
I am upset especially as I was told today the girlfriend harms my daughter. The gf does this to mine. My beautiful girl has had her life sucked out of her. And is being scarred. Im online telling my story in the hope of learning something new to help my husband and I get her away from that toxic monster.
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HI Angelmum, Your trying times with your daughter is a mirror of what our family is going through too. I can say that through medicare/mental health plan you can get 10 psycogical visits a year for her, plus 10 each for yourself and your partner too. The aim being group therapy, which goes on one of your plan-count. Its tough times, reachout out has lots of advice,and great councelling. I am working on rebuilding our relationship by listening and acknowlegeing her feelings and trying to entice her out of the room for some one on one time with us, as she is practically 24/7 online or sleeping whereabouts unknown. Even taking the dog for a walk is too hard for us. I find texting her works if there is aggression/tension eg text tea is on the table its......(favourite). Stops the ear-bleeding reply. Leaving uneaten dinners right at the front of the fridge seem to get heated up and eaten in the middle of the night. Last Saturday she talked to us for 1/2 hour and listened to me for about 10 mins (the speaker held a soft toy. No one else could speak until they were passed the teddy ) Learnt this tool from a group session we had. There were slip ups with butting in, but no explosions.Going to school is a big issue for us, and the anxiety is there from being behind, not achieving in yr 10 is overwhelming her. The school is really obliging with extending deadlines etc but now are starting to get tough on J meeting deadlines and actually doing the work. Preparing for the next day is key so I keep reminding J about eat well, sleep well, exercise and spending more time with the good crowd/ and less with the wrong crowd. This will also help her to beat depression, anxiety and stress. She has gravitated to another peer group with similar issues and blocks/runs away with them instead of working on helping herself to good mental health and happiness. Her girlfriend encourages her to self harm. Every day is a new day. I remind myself every night of three good things that have happened (help me sleep......) and we do have some steps forward. Look after yourselves and your mental health too, keep humor and tight with your partner. I will be watching your forum page for advice too, best wishes. X
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