How are you finding this week? I have just been reading back over this thread and wanted to let you know this community has been thinking of holding hope for you and your family this week
There were a few things that really resonated with me from the posts you have shared here that I wanted to share with you.
Firstly, I can hear how much love you have for your family, and how much you are willing to do to support your daughter's wellbeing, and your own.
A few years I was a full time carer for someone who went through a really tough time, and I went to a family meeting at the hospital they were in and the doctor said something to me that really shifted the way I saw the impact on family that really speaks to what you have been saying about impact on your family. He looked at me and said if your family is a clock, and every person is a gear in the clock; you are all connected. When mental health spins one of the gears, it moves the others too where every connected gear is feeling the ripple effect of movement throughout the whole clock. Like this:
He told me it was okay to feel, and that he didn't expect me to hold up this "I'm okay, everything is okay" front and push down the impact it was having on me and those around me, because we were all connected. It really feeds into what you have mentioned about taking care of yourself- wellbeing and self care also has a ripple effect that helps your family too, and ensuring that every person in your family is doing what they need to do to look after their wellbeing is super important to restoring the balance
I would love to hear more about the things you do to look after yourself at the moment, it sounds like faith plays a really important part of your self care
The second point that stood out to me is the discussion about residential care. I can hear you have done so much research, clearly something you have given hours and hours of thought to! Ultimately, you know your daughter and her needs best- I am hearing you have good instincts, trust your instincts. It sounds like you have put together the structure and support she needs right now, and that is a brilliant step that so many young people miss in their recovery! Any decision you make from here, I can see you are a resilient and loving parent, and such an important person in your daughter's life. We are all here sharing your hope for recovery; it can and does happen
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Oh dear @trpack I've been to the looney bin and back! It is not a pleasant experience. Firstly, well done coming here and asking for help. You know this is the hardest step. It is also a sign of how much you care. The people we love are the ones who know which buttons to push and how often. If we were chatting face to face you would now hear me muttering something under my breath right now. I have to rush out but feel I have responded to this type of question so many times now I will have another search for the topics. Only because I know that I would have said it better then than I can right now...you know state of mind and all that jazz. Here are a couple of posts @PapaBill and I have responded too. I encourage you to have a quick squiz and ask more questions. I will try to come back to this at another time. Otherwise PM me. https://forums.parents.au.reachout.com/t5/Talk-about-issues-your-teen/Help/m-p/12781/thread-id/5236 https://forums.parents.au.reachout.com/t5/Talk-about-issues-your-teen/18-year-old-girl-tantrums-no-respect/td-p/12443/page/2 https://forums.parents.au.reachout.com/t5/Topic-Discussions/Responsible-Thinking-Process-Model-for-helping-children-learn/m-p/12847#M363 Finally, big hugs and sending lots of positive thoughts your way. You're doing a great job. Take care.
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I totally understand what you said "when he doesn't want to go that you cannot force him", he's 15, most probably taller than you already! How can you force him?! I have a 15 yrs old boy, I know what you mean. You are doing very good, listen to him, understand him and work on his motive rather than forcing him, which we cannot drag him to school anyway. I think 15 should be able to understand what are the consequence if they quit school now, such as hard chance getting into uni, less education means less chance of professional work, means more labour kind of job plus possible lower income etc. I think a 15 years old should understand all these. Ever think of finding him a part time job at fast food chain or somewhere? Since he has more free time now, would it help if he can have a taste of "labour job"? Hoping to bring him back to the reality. Hope it make sense.
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