Well, she actually did it. Despite me talking it over with her and youth worker, and explicitly telling her mother I didn't want my 16 year old getting a tattoo, her mother has taken her to NSW to get not only one tattoo, but TWO (It's illegal in Queensland). The reason why I didn't think she should get a tattoo? Well apart from it being illegal in the state and it being a permanent mark on her her body, it's because earlier this year, she took her grandmothers car from her mother's house (on a learners license) with other minors, going for a drive one night without incident, the other night smashing the vehicle into a tree, making her way home to her mother and in the morning pretending it had been stolen. To this day, neither her or her mother has told the grandmother the truth (her mother found out the truth). This, plus videoing her brother smoking weed in her mum's backyard and posting it to Instagram. So no, Dad doesn't want her getting a tattoo, let alone two. The kid's mum is completely irresponsible. Several weeks ago, my 14 year old son messaged me while he was in the car as his mother was booked for drink driving (so he says). He said his mum found out I had been told, and then he got into "trouble" for telling me. She told him it was none of my business. I am completely powerless as a father. I have consent orders in place. Legal advice says because my daughter is 16, the court will weigh heavily on her age and any orders will likely be unenforceable. I've represented myself before, but would need to pay $300 an hour for a lawyer this time. I called the Police - unhelpful. They can't pursue the car matter as it needs to be pursued by the complainant. If she took my daughter to NSW to get a tattoo it's not illegal and a matter for NSW police. Called the Child Protection Unit - they need to actually catch the minor in the car, or catch them being tattooed illegally - they're not in the business of prevention. I've been given Child Safety's contact. Again, useless. I called them earlier this year when my son was getting into drugs, hanging around criminals and becoming homeless from his mum's house. As both parents appeared to be willing to act protectively they couldn't become involved. It's not the first time I've called them - I've had 10 years of trying to protect my kids while at their mum's house. Everything from DV, to sexual harassment by a step brother, to my son attempting suicide at age 11 because of unstable housing. As the mother appears to take action after the things occur, and is good at rationalising, nothing is challenged and nothing changes. Mediation is futile - she says one thing, then does the other. The Family Court is futile, sitting down with a family court reporter for an hour doesn't capture what really goes on, and as if they're going to "dob" on their mum? Last time I went (when my daughter was 14) her mum actually gave my daughter the court report to read afterwards. So I had my daughter making comments to me about court matters and the family court report. Any further action I take will only drive my kids away because Dad will be made "the bad guy" for causing trouble. For just being a Dad with basic boundaries. She's taking my kids out of school for a cruise for a week (she took my daughter out to go to Cuba for 3 weeks last year) while my daughter is in Year 12 next year. The most important year of schooling. So now I have a daughter whose mum as taken her to NSW to get 2 tattoos. It's irresponsible parenting and it's modelling poor values. It's teaching my daughter to disrespect me. It's a total disregard for me as a father. And all this talk about "keeping children safe" that almost every school and authority pro-port to support, is quite frankly BS. It's all talk and no action. Yes, I have support. I work in the community sector. I've used child consultants, psychologists, youth workers, counsellors......as well as support for myself. I know every avenue of support like the back of hand. At the end of the day, you can't fix parental immaturity and irresponsibility. Sure, I've been told not to criticise the other parent and do for the most part. But when a parent blatantly colludes with the kids and undermines my parenting, what do you do? Keep quiet? Let them go get tattoos? And hide illegal activity? "Just try and keep contact with your kids" is the advice. That's not being a father. That's being a benevolent acquaintance. I'm angry and frustrated. I've been undermined for years and it's eroding away my relationship with my kids. I don't expect anyone on this forum to offer me anything I haven't heard before. I'm just here to rant because if I don't do it here, I'll do it directly at the mother and that's not what the kids need right now. It's just an incredibly crappy situation.
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