After much conversation and tears after y’all’s advice and our mothers we have came to an agreement. He is going to put the guns somewhere else bc that is what will make him feel comfortable mostly. We’ve talked with the kids and made them understand they can only come in the bedroom upon invitation and not to go through our stuff. I’ve got him to understand that no matter how big my 11 year old is he is still a child. He said he wants me to be happy and not resent him for not being able to cuddle with my kids so he caved since it is so important to me. So on occasion I will have them in the bed with me to watch a movie. Another good thing we decided was not to just allow them in our bedroom when he’s not there but when I want to spend time with with them or vice versa as long as the hubby and I didn’t already have alone time planned. His moms advice actually. She believes it will make the kids resent him bc they can only be in bedroom when he’s not around. I really appreciate the feedback I got from you both. We have never had a major argument like this and couldn’t come to an agreement on our own so thank you! Hopefully from this point forward everything will be ok 😊
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My husband who is my boy’s (11&7) stepfather has a rule about no kids in the bedroom. He has multiple reasons or excuses why he doesn’t want them in there. I agree with some but not to the extent he does. He thinks if I let them in there occasionally they will try to barge in all the time. He is afraid they will walk in on him changing, go through our stuff, or just make a habit of coming in there when they please. Although they have done well and don’t do this anymore. They knock or don’t bother us at all if the door is shut. He has guns in the bedroom which they don’t know he has and they are hidden, unloaded, and no bullets in bedroom. I respect his “rule” about not letting them in the bedroom 95% of the time. Before I met him 3 years ago they were allowed in my bedroom and we would lay in my bed and watch tv with me and cuddle. Now every other weekend when my husband as at work maybe once a month they come in the bedroom and watch a movie with me. My husband and I recently got in an argument bc of this. He thinks it’s weird for my 11 year old to lay in bed with me bc he is my size. What is his thinking on that. He can’t tell me and just said it looks weird? He is my flesh and blood, my baby, and I don’t see how it’s weird for me to hold my child’s hand occasionally. I mean it’s not like we are spooning. I want to enjoy my son’s wanting to cuddle with me bc I know they will outgrow it. He says we can watch tv anywhere else but I like all 3 of us laying in my king size bed with the big tv cuddling. It’s not the same when your sitting in recliners or whatever. Should I not allow kids in the bedroom since my husband doesn’t agree at all or keep doing what I want to do with my boys when he’s not there. My mom thinks he’s jealous but how can one be jealous when this only happens rarely and when he’s at work?
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