Thank you for this. I think I need to get an idea from him about how regularly this happens. I have only noticed once or twice. He always leaves his phone down stairs and had always left his tablet there too until he told me he was having trouble sleeping and I've allowed him to use it to call asleep listening to music on. I usually sneak it away when I tuck him in when I go to bed and he is already asleep. He stops using his computer an hot or two before bed but is still on his phone texting etc. It sounds silly but I feel a bit like I'm worried setting new ground rules will make him feel worse right now. Not that I am a pushover my any stretch of the imagination. I might suggest some of the sleep hygiene ideas. I think his room is nice and dark and he has the window open a little if he wants. I do suspect that if he spends too much time in his room playing games etc that his brain won't associate his room with sleep but that wasn't the case today as we were visiting family.
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Thank you for all your replies and links. It feels really supportive and reassuring that I'm not the only parent going through this. We've had a whirlwind few weeks as my mother in law died (the night I first posted strangely enough). Although our son wasn't very close to her it obviously still affected him a little, and I think deep down he has been worried about his dad. He did have quite a few good days though where he seemed quite 'level headed'. We have had his psychotherapist appt and he feels that although there is clearly anxiety and depression there, there are no physical symptoms present which indicate clinical depression requiring meds. He feels talking therapy will help. His appt (which was an initial assesment) ran over time so we are booked in next week to return (all 3 of us) to finish and make a plan. That being said I'm sat up again at almost 2am because he isn't sleeping - for the first time I've noticed in these 2 weeks. I just can't go to sleep if I know he is awake and pottering about. He said he feels ok and just can't sleep so hope that true! Meanwhile I've been an axious mess trying to look after him and my husband!
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I hope it's OK to post here. I'm actually in the UK but I've never found somewhere where people might I understand what I'm going through. I'm currently sat in my living room at 1am scared to go back to bed until I know my son is asleep. He has been suffering with his mental health for a while and we are seeing a DR in 2 weeks. He has always put it down to school pressure. His school has been supportive and we have seen a councillor at our local mental health service. He told me a while ago he had been sitting at his window and wanted to jump but couldn't. When he saw the councillor for the first time a few weeks ago he also confessed to self harming by cutting the tops of his legs. I had no idea. I've found him many times in floods of tears in a really awful place saying he can't do it anymore and I feel helpless. I should be able to help him. Today he wanted to not come on a family outing with myself, my husband and his sister. We have been trying to compromise on these things as I know teenage boys want to do their own thing but he had opted out of something yesterday and I had said he could see his girlfriend instead. His mood plummeted and I know from past days like this he feels pressured and controlled. Apart from not wanting him to opt out of family life I'm also scared to leave him when we go that far away (about 2.5 hrs drive). He seemed to settle as the day went on but I never know if that's real and he really feels calmer on the inside. Now he can't sleep and I'm scared to go to bed in case he does something to hurt himself - or worse. My husband thinks im overeacting. I just keep playing over how my own anxiety and passed depression and overbearing parenting has made him feel this awful and react this way. Sorry. That was so long. It just helped to get it out!!
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