One thing I’ve found helpful is to have a conversation with my son as though I’m a consultant.  The way I do this is to ask what he wants and why, then outline clear expectations on how to get there.  For example, he wanted to buy a car and we sat down and came up with a plan.  I asked him what he would need and so we priced a car at about $5,000, then he came up with different ideas for jobs, and then we discussed how to get started.  I didn’t tell him what to do, I just helped guide him and talk through ideas. My son and I have used a lot of the lessons at a site I found to look at different topics without me having to lecture him. ... View more

Hey @Chalker, isolation is such a stressful thing for us as parents. I relate to your situation as well, as my daughter been a bedroom dweller for the past 18 months. I don't have any answers either unfortunately, and the only thing that has worked for me is letting go of the worry and fears for the future - much easier said than done!!    My daughter stopped communicating with all of her real life friends for most of last year, until I ran into one of their mums. We chatted and her daughter was missing mine, so we organised a sleepover. She comes over regularly now, and she has two other real life friends that she is now in regular contact with but, but rarely sees. She has online friends though, and they seem to keep her happy. She is now engaged with distance ed, and does stuff on her computer. It's the opposite life to mine at that age, and I want different things for her, but she seems happy enough. I am lucky that in her own time she has returned to tennis weekly, and she got herself a part time job. She cannot understand why we are all so proud and happy. For her it's just something she wanted to do - "what's the big deal??" she says!   What does your son do in is room? Do you know if he's learning or creating or doing productive things that make him happy and feel satisfied?    My daughter's psychiatrist didn't diagnose, but mentioned to me so I could do some research, Hikikomori. I've done a lot of reading about it which I've found interesting.    Is your son on any medications? Do you think he might be interested in doing any study from his room? OTEN is one way he could study something he's interested in if he chose?   To be honest I've stopped pushing her or placing restrictions on the internet. It just wasn't working and creating conflict, so it was a battle I chose to let go of. I'll let her know if I'm going out, or visiting the family, but I accept it if she doesn't want to go now. She can't be forced to do anything she doesn't want to! And if she does come out when she'd rather have stayed at home, it's not pleasant and I wish I'd left her there lol.    What do you see as your son's strengths? Do you know what he sees as his strengths? Could be something to work with?    Sorry for the Q&A!  ... View more

Thanks for the replies. I have read that a lot of people are going through the same. I am hearing the same advice and the different time frames of when that person came back, finally. I only hope that my situation turns out for the better also. Hearing these stories gives me hope. I will never stop trying, although at times I think it's pointless!! ... View more