My 17 year old daughter has been feeling sad during this unpredictable and unsettling year. She’s hated remote learning and started to feel sad and her breakup with her boyfriend seems to have amplified the sadness. We have encouraged her to get well being support from school which she has committed to and she is trying to figure out her reasons for feeling sad. I also sit and encourage open conversation about her feelings. Not always well received but I reassure this is coming from a place of love. Since the breakup she has closed up a bit and not really wAnting to confront her feelings. I know deep down this is the root cause of her sadness. She has also lost a lot of confidence. I am afraid she’s manifesting her feelings as they are too hurtful. I’m worried she could break down and her exams will be affected so I am encouraging her to push herself to be honest with herself and confront head on. It’s not easy but I am making her see that she needs to take control and resolve conflicting thoughts about her ex by talking to him. They broke up mutually due to Covid situation. Nothing was wrong so hence I think the uncertainty, fear of rejection and unresolved. The future of uni and choices are also stressing her so we have defined a step by step logical outlook of what we can control. My advice to her is to be ok with the uni choices for now and once exams have passed she will have a better idea of how she might score. Between exams and results there’s one month to reassess those choices without the exam stress. If she’s changed her mind then we wait for results and change. If not sure still then stay with current choices until she figures it out with options available through uni. We always try to talk openly and honestly with her knowing that we will always support and help her achieve her goals where we can. This has been a very difficult year and I’m heart broken for my daughter and all other teens dealing with this final year of their schooling and transition to adulthood. They have lost so much but as parents we have to stay positive and just understand, love and support them. Ta.... ... View more

Hi @Birdwings Thank you for your virtual care package and support.  Right back to you too. It is terrible that we are in lockdown for another 6 weeks at least. It’s been very difficult but we are doing the right things.  I have asked my daughter about her friendship and remaining in contact with her boyfriend and it seems like that’s what she’s happy with.  He is still keeping check on how she’s feeling and they both seem more open about their feelings and discussing the break up. I know they were very close friends before so maybe this friendship can be supportive for her. I feel that now the pressure of a romantic relationship is gone that he’s more open and at ease. His family were very unpredictable about letting them catch up during lockdown too and it seemed like a lot of effort. Our family were flexible and we respected their decisions but I can’t help but feel that it was too much for him to organise catch ups as on many occasions he was left with uncertainty or hanging from his parents. They adored my daughter and we adored him so as you can see it makes it hard to comprehend when they were so happy together. Anyway, things change and now we must focus on getting through this with her and support her through the rest of this horrible year and her VCE exams.  Take care of yourself and your family.  We will continue to smile and focus on the good things in our lives. ... View more

Hi Hannah Thank you for your response and insights. We are super proud at how she has handled her exams. There is a spark when she tells us about them and how she did. I have asked her about keeping in touch with him and she says that she ok being friends. Doesn’t seem to be upset or more sad from the contact. I too am glad she’s reaching out to her girl friends. The hard part is that they are part of a large group of friends who are all close so it would be difficult for her to break off completely. Perhaps she recognises that and accepts the friendship. It also seems like he is more open to her about his feelings since the breakup as he was very closed before while figuring things out and not trying to hurt her. He seems to care for her and checks in on how she’s feeling. So maybe that’s a good thing and the lack of pressure can enable a more honest friendship. I’m just letting her lead with this but I’ll keep my eye on it without being pushy and too opinionated. I guess they way we would deal is different so I have to trust her instincts. I still worry and I feel super anxious about her mental and emotional state. I’m not use to seeing her so sad. I know this is part of growing up but I feel that was the most important relationship she had during this lockdown. I know time will heal and it’s forcing her to make time for other friends which is positive. Thanks again. I really appreciate this support ... View more

Hi It’s hard for older teens as they are mussing do much of their social interaction. We get along well in our family so we do art sessions together, cook as a family and movie nights. Sometimes only the kids (mine are 17 and 13) will do activities together. They still keep up with their chores. We plan days they go out for walks or some type of exercise/activity to break from device time( remote learning) after school (we try for every second day). Now I will be encouraging them to meet with a friend to go for a walk or ride as that’s allowed for 2 hours with another person. Hope this helps a little. 🤗 ... View more

Thank you so much for your response and suggestions. It is very hard seeing her so sad. She’s a trooper though as she’s managing her practice exams well under the circumstances. I know she listens to my advice which I’m grateful for. I have actually convinced her to meet up with a friend for a walk. We are very close which is probably why this is so hard for me too. We spend a lot of time together already going for walks, doing art or watch her favourite show, but right now she’s not willing. She wants to be alone. The good thing is we are still talking and she opens up a little more each time. She stills keeps in touch with him so I’m very concerned whether this is healthy for her healing. She tells me it’s ok as they are still best friends. What are your thoughts on this? School holidays are also coming so I feel that all the spare time will amplify how much she misses him and less distraction might make compound the sadness. ... View more