Thank you for your advise it does sound like very similar situations, we are really trying the no yelling approach with him and that everything he does is his decision and will affect his future but at the moment since this last blow up he has left the house and I haven't seen him for 2days, I know he is safe but I just want him home with us.  ... View more

I haven't heard of mercycare as I'm in NSW but we do have headspace which is supposed to be awesome for teenagers and family just waiting for them to reply to my email.  Thanks for the support ... View more

I have been in contact with headspace just waiting for a reply so I am willing to talk to anybody I can and just trying to keep lines of communication open as much as possible. I've never been good at self care and unfortunately this hasn't helped, I have always put myself last children come first with me which I know has affect my mental health but am managing with anti depressants and my doctor. Thanks for the reply ... View more

Hi everyone,   wel I thought I might give an update on my son and unfortunately things have gone from bad to worse anyway got him into distance education and he started to do the work but as time went on it got to difficult for him. Do as his friends where more important. With constant fights with him I rang the education council and she said not to push him he will be 18 this year he needs to take responsibility for his actions so study is off and he won't complete yr12.  His attitude even thou not really disrespectful he comes and goes as he feels like it comes home when he wants doesn't let me know when he will return. He has started playing a computer game again and last night when he abused his sister about the bad internet connection I took the modem off him well that started a 5 hr fight ending with him trashing his room, I ended up sleeping on the lounge with only 4hrs sleep. Anyway the next day we had plans to go out and my 17yr old text me saying if I didn't leave the modem behind he would smash holes in our walls and trash the house so I had to stay home will hubby took the girls and went out just to protect our home. He ended up going out with his friends but came and went as he felt like it. I am a wreck nerves are shot and don't know what to do. He is being punished but all I can do is not to give him money or drive him anywhere and just make sure that he has food and a roof over his head but that's it. I love him so much but the way he acted the other night wasn't on and I'm so lost as to what to do any suggestions would be great. Do I ask him to leave and possible never see him again? I'm don't want to give up on him but I don't know what to do. ... View more

Hi Ngaio-RO,   the school was wanting to expel my son from school but as he wasn't 17 yet they needed to find somewhere for him to finish school so the principle mentioned about distance education so he can complete yr 12. She wasn't sure if he needed to be expelled from school to be excepted into the course or if the school could recommend him without the expulsion. Lucky they would accept him with being expelled so it stays off his school record. My son is happy to do distance education as he really wants to finish high school and join the police force. His behaviour has been so good and respectful at home and to his sister which is a great step forward from what we were dealing with.  ... View more

Hi everyone,   its been awhile since I've posted so thought I would update on how my boy is.... well he started term 4 really well behaving in class and doing as he was told, he was on a monitoring card getting 1 and 2 ( execellent behaviour) until the day that he was suspended for 15 days for which I might  add was pathetic.  The story is that my son needed to go to the toilet ( no 2's) but he won't use the school ones as they are disgusting so as he had a free period he went across the road to the service station and used there bathroom but because he left with 3 other boys ( they left during class got into a car and drove into town for maccas) my son came straight back and went to his next class he got suspended and the other boys got 4 days. Needless to sa y the school have started the process to expel him. After an 1hr long meeting with the principal we agreed that instead for expelling him he will be finishing yr12 by distance education at home part time and at the centre the rest of the week. Not ideal for me as I  Have 2  other kids in high school but really the only option as he is really serious about finishing yr12 and I truely believe that he would have made it if the deputy had taken into account his resent good behaviour. So he has been home from school since week 4 of this term.  Anyway that's where we are now fingers crossed we can do this. X ... View more

Thank you readthemanuel I am so happy he gets to start yr 12 and so far this week is going really well been going to school everyday with no problems even tho he is sick with tonsillitis and he is staying out of trouble. I know it's only been 3 days but past experiences that is a huge effort on his part and I tell him that everyday when he comes home how proud I am that he has put the effort in.    Thank you for all the encouragement  ... View more

Thank you Mitzi I really hope we have turned a corner but only time will tell. Thank you for all the comments and encouragement it's been amazing. ... View more

I feel ok about his commitments but honestly I just have to trust him to do the right thing. And in the end if he can't do it than that's his desicion and he has to live with the consequences. I can't keep holding his hand anymore. As much as I love him he has to grow up and commit  ... View more

Hi Luula, we have made the decision with the school that if he could get all his over due assignments done over the holidays he can go thru to yr 12. So he had 6 assignments and finished  the last one last night thank god. He has been really good and wanting to finish them so yr 12 here he comes.  I've had long talks with him about attitude and willness  to finish school so now it's up to him as he's 17 in December and and any stuff up he's out. So fingers crossed      ... View more

I did think the same thing that he's only telling me what I want to hear and I really hope that he's not but I guess I have to trust him and seeing how his behaviour at home has improved so much at home with me and towards his sisters is huge. He does still have issues with his father and they currently not talking because his dad has told him that he's a loser and a no hoper and has pretty much given up on him where as I can't do that I need to support him as much as I can even thou it has put a huge strain on my marriage. If my boy wants to repeat all I can see is the benefit of that I'll just have to keep on top of it and **bleep** it works.  ... View more

Thank you Im glad to hear that someone has had a good experience in repeating yr 11 it is such a hard time trying to decide what's the right thing to do. I'm thinking that give it a term and see how he goes or else it's TAFE.  ... View more

That's a great idea about talking to the police we have a family friend that's a police officer and  could possible point us in the right direction. Thank you for the help ... View more

Thanks Mitzi I really appreciate your input and that's my concern, my boy was a huge gamer and we struggled for a few years with his gaming and refusing to go to school or do any school work and when he was at school he was in trouble so his attendance at school is only 41% and I know from his last report that he has failed all his subjects, I believe his school was waiting for him to turn 17 ( in December ) so they could ask him to leave if he didn't improve his behaviour. About 3 mths ago he made the decision to sell his computer and try to get his life back which was a huge relief but unfortunately the damage was already done. I do have concern with him repeating as the rep he has at school with his behaviour is going to be hard to break with his teachers, I'm pushing for TAFE but I think he wants to stay so he can show his teachers that he can do the work and behave and have the life he wants. He knows I will support him as it will be tough I'm just really torn as to what to do.  ... View more

I did put that option to him ziggystarmum but he wants to stay at the same school. He's a really popular kid and so I'm not really worried about him being bullied for repeating, it's just the deputy at his school said that he hasn't found it to be an advantage to repeat a student. All his teachers have said that he's a smart kid just easily distracted by his friends and very loyal so if they get in trouble he feels that he has to stand up for his friends. Which I have explained to him that it's great to be loyal but when it's stops his education by getting suspended he needs to change his priorities.  ... View more

Thank you so much tenacious _dad your message has been a great help, I will definitely look into pre- apprenticeship course as he does show an interest in electrical, plumbing or the building industry. He has his own bank account and tax file number as he had a part time job cleaning in which he enjoyed the independence and the wage just not the cleaning side of things even thou his boss was very happy with his work and mature attitude which is a positive for him.  Will look into all the suggestions everyone has offered and fingers crossed something helps him and takes the pressure off the family.  ... View more

Thank you for the replies, my boy is a gamer so does stay up late on weekends and I make sure hes off by 10pm school nights, but I have caught him on his phone when I have gone to bed, which he now doesn't have in his room. As for school he is quite smart but does like to play the clown and now has the rep of being the naughty kid in class.  With his school they put all the kids that are hard to handle in one class each year with the same teachers and some of them just aren't strong enough to control them all at once.  He's not violent or abusive but does speak his mind and if he doesn't agree with something he'll speak up. As he's only got 6 mths until he's 17 should I consider maybe a tafe course or just keep pushing him to school ( his grades aren't the best). He is currently looking for work just not sure whAt he wants to do. As I have 2 other children and they see him not going to school it does cause a lot of conflict in the home. Any advice would be great thank you ... View more