@Birdwings I think that those are such insightful and important insights into what it's like to both experience anxiety yourself, and being a parent of an anxious child. I can definitely strongly identify with both of those things!
Teaching our kids and ourselves to self soothe is such a hugely valuable skill to have. I'm also the parent of a child who experiences quite a lot of anxiety at times, we did a program with her called Cool Kids which I can highly recommend (it's also offered online if you'd be interested @Nivea ) - it taught a lot of skills to help manage anxiety, both in self soothing/ learning techniques like breathing slowly into the diaphragm, learning how to question their anxious thoughts, and also starting to slowly work up to facing things that make them anxious. The cycle of avoiding things that make you anxious, then finding they become more scary in your mind ( it's also something I found was linked to perfectionism @Birdwings !) can be a viscious cycle to be stuck in - this was a really good way to start to learn how to safely make mistakes and work up to things that are scarier.
@Birdwings I love that you've found visualisations and ways to focus that work for you, where traditional meditation may not have been your thing- I'm not always great at mindfulness, but I've found walking mindfulness meditations to be really good, especially if I can get away for a bushwalk or something.
@Nivea if you think that your son might like to try some self help strategies, we have a page of resources here to help parents support their teenagers in learning coping skills managing anxiety. There's a couple of great apps that can be really helpful in helping to learn some skills, I've copied a few over here for you:
Breathing exercises
Physical symptoms of anxiety include rapid, shallow breathing and hyperventilation. These symptoms can sometimes trigger panic attacks. Try teaching your teenager some breathing exercises to help immediately reduce their anxiety symptoms and calm them down. For example, try the 'long exhale':
- Thoroughly exhale, pushing all the air out of your lungs.
- Take a deep breath and inhale slowly, counting to four.
- Exhale slowly, counting to six. Try to spend more time exhaling than inhaling.
- Repeat for two to five minutes.
Your teen could also use ReachOut Breathe, an app designed to help young people control their breathing and manage the symptoms of anxiety.
Going for a walk or doing light exercise
This can help to distract the mind and manage the physical symptoms of anxiety and stress. It’s also an opportunity to take a break from whatever is making your teen anxious.
Writing down worries
Writing down your worries and setting aside a designated time to come back to them is a technique used in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and can help ensure that excessive worrying – which can lead to anxiety – doesn’t take over someone’s life. ReachOut has developed an app called WorryTime to guide young people through the process.
Meditation and mindfulness
These tools teach you how to focus on the present, instead of worrying about things in the past or the future. Smiling Mind is an app designed to teach young people mindfulness meditation, a technique that has been shown to help with anxiety.
How has your son gone with school this week @Nivea ? Do you think he'd be willing to give any of these things a try?
