16 year old son doesnt want to be with me

[nics69]

Hi This is my first post. Im terrible upset about my current family situation My 16 year old son has been raised by me and my mother in her home as his father wanted to be no part of his life i was single until 4 years ago when I met Robert We started dating and moved in together two years ago As I expected My son took it badly he didnt accept Robert told him he hates him and still rarely talks to him My son agreed to move in with us and still stay at his grandmas a few times a week This worked fine until a few months ago when he is wanting to stay with her more and now he will only stay here two times a week He says the reason is he hates Rob the house is messy the dogs bark all the time but these are not new things I dont know why the sudden pulling away from me is happeniong and Im devastated

[TOM-RO]

Hey @nics69 

Thanks so much for joining ReachOut and sharing what's going on for you.

You sound understandably devastated by what's going on.

If you don't mind me asking, what was your son like before you moved in with Rob?

Have you asked your son what it is that he dislikes about Rob?

I thought I'd tag some parents here to see if they have any info or advice to contribute: 

@sidneysdad @JAKGR8  @jbrowne @Fleurry @Pammy62 @Orbit64 @compassion @Keddie @Zayray

[nics69]

Hi Tom ro My son has alway disliked Rob he says he is a yobbo and rude ( because rob burps a lot) He says why couldn’t you have found a better boyfriend mum?

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @nics69, thanks for sharing your experience with us. That must be really hard to hear and I am so sorry that your family is experiencing this. It must be so difficult for you to face the prospect of seeing your son less. Have your son and Rob spent anytime together? Are you still able to spend quality time with your son since Rob has come into your life?

[nics69]

before we moved in blake still didnt like rob'

and to his credit rob has tried hard bought blake things offered to take him out put up with blakes rudeness

but it now looks like rob and i have broken up

we have been arguing over lots of things and last night he he said i think its best if you go stay with you mum and i dud

Im devastted

[Janine-RO]

Hi @nics69 , 

I'm really sorry to hear that things are so rough with your partner rob at the moment. It's been a pretty stressful time for everyone at the moment dealing with the changes that the coronavirus has brought to all of our lives, plus dealing with the challenges with your son. 

Do you think that he means that this is a permanent break, or could it be a chance to take some time apart and see how you're feeling? 

It sounds like it's been a really rough time for you. Do you think it could help chatting to a counsellor at all to help you through all of this? We're also happy to listen any time here on the forums, but sometimes people also find it helpful to speak to someone one to one. 

Thinking of you. 

[nics69]

Thank you Janine we have had difficulties during the past few months Rob is studying and working full time I try and support him as much as I can but I can deal with his business or school work We have been seeing a counselor fir a year and the same issues keep coming up I have not contacted rob I’m hoping he will think about things We have four years together I can’t believe he wants to throw it all away

[Janine-RO]

@nics69  it sounds like you've had a lot on both of your plates, juggling full time work and study is definitely full on. It sounds like you've been as supportive as possible, I hope that some time to think is helpful for both of you. 

Are you staying with your son at your parents' place now?