18 years old want to sleep over at a boy house

[Xculture]

Daughter told lies before about staying with her girlfriend, today she confessed that she doesn't want to lie anymore,
My husband and I are from different cultures background, i am not keen on the idea, my daughter told me she won't take any risk, they are friend with benefits only. The boy only lives with his dad, his parents separated,. It's seem I am prejudice but as a concern mother I don't know how to impose my value to my daughter

[TOM-RO]

Hi @Xculture and welcome to Reachout Parents Forum. 

Thank you for sharing this concern with the forum, this  can be a really tricky thing to discuss with our children. It would be interesting to hear of other parents experiences with setting rules in regards to letting their teenagers stay at their girlfriend/ boyfriends house. 

As a parent its natural to worry about our children and what they are doing in regards to sex and safety. 

It might be a good idea to have a conversation with your daughter where you can both express your values on this topic so you can understand each others perspectives. It sounds like honesty is something your daughter values and it's great that she wants to keep her communication with you honest and open. Building on this trust with her could be an opportunity to potentially strengthen your relationship. 

What do others think on the forum?

[PapaBill]

Hi @Xculture 

It really is tough to have our children choose things we thing we disagree with.

I can only imagine how it would feel for you to have your daughter take up "Friends with Benefits".

The reality is there  is little you can do to stop an 18 year old from engaging in sex should they choose to do it knowing you disprove.  

The good news here is that your daughter is trying to be respectful, honest and open with you.  That is a good thing and I suggest you reciprocate.  Be respectful, honest and open with her.

Tell her what you feel in a respectful way.  Hopefully she will listen.  That doesn't necessarily mean she will change her choice but guidance of our children is ALWAYS our role as parents no mater the age of our children.

[JAKGR8]

Oh yes @Xculture the dreaded sleep over. I hear your worry. 

I recently contributed to a similar thread that you might like to read here.

I know that we want to save our kids from making mistakes that are clear to us. Unfortunately that isn't our role. We are try to teach strategies, equip them for a positive life and to make good choices. We share our joys, regrets, triumphs, concerns and mistakes with them so they can learn from us but also in the hope they will share their's with us. Please be confident that you have raised a strong and wise young woman. She may not be the same as you but it sounds like you have a good relationship. Maybe she's ready to be a young adult now. Good luck.