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Drug abuse

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Caroline
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Drug abuse

My daughter regularly takes Xanax she says she is not addicted but I know it’s hard not to be addicted to that sort of drug. She admits to taking it in her room on her own so it is a dependancy?
She drove and wrote off her car whilst high and consumed alcohol and ended up in hospital with her friend
Neither of them were injured and they shared the whole sorry story on social media
The police never attended as it was a single vehicle accident.
So no charges will be laid and she won’t loose her license to drive

She has shown no remorse or anything for her actions

I feel she needs to be punished

What should I do ?

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Community Manager
Janine-RO
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Re: Drug abuse

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Hi @Caroline , 

 

That sounds like a really challenging situation to be in as a parent, do you mind me asking how old your daughter is? Do you know if she's been prescribed the Xanax by a doctor, or is she obtaining it through friends/other means? 

 

It sounds like there's definitely some signs that her use of Xanax is negatively impacting her life and contributing to high risk behaviour, having her involved in a car accident like that as well as then sharing it on social media must have been pretty confronting for you. The fact that she's using it at home alone is also concerning. We have a great article here written by a clinical psychologist about Teens and Drug Addiction  that you may find helpful.

 

It does sound like she may benefit from some professional help, do you think she would be open to using a service like Headspace? They also offer online counselling. 

 

I can completely understand you feeling like she needs to face some consequences for her actions - one natural consequence could be that she loses use of the car. Was she driving the family car, or was it hers? Has she been able to afford to get it repaired or replaced? 

 

Sorry for all of the questions - I imagine it would be both really stressful and frustrating as a parent to see your child making some pretty dangerous decisions without any apparent remorse. It's also really important to look after yourself if you're feeling stressed about it all - we do have a one to one parenting coaching/counselling service that is free of charge, you can access that here if you'd find it helpful to chat with a professional about what's been going on for you. 

 

Wishing you all the best, please keep us posted on how you're going. 

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Community Manager
Janine-RO
Solution

Re: Drug abuse

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Hi @Caroline , 

 

That sounds like a really challenging situation to be in as a parent, do you mind me asking how old your daughter is? Do you know if she's been prescribed the Xanax by a doctor, or is she obtaining it through friends/other means? 

 

It sounds like there's definitely some signs that her use of Xanax is negatively impacting her life and contributing to high risk behaviour, having her involved in a car accident like that as well as then sharing it on social media must have been pretty confronting for you. The fact that she's using it at home alone is also concerning. We have a great article here written by a clinical psychologist about Teens and Drug Addiction  that you may find helpful.

 

It does sound like she may benefit from some professional help, do you think she would be open to using a service like Headspace? They also offer online counselling. 

 

I can completely understand you feeling like she needs to face some consequences for her actions - one natural consequence could be that she loses use of the car. Was she driving the family car, or was it hers? Has she been able to afford to get it repaired or replaced? 

 

Sorry for all of the questions - I imagine it would be both really stressful and frustrating as a parent to see your child making some pretty dangerous decisions without any apparent remorse. It's also really important to look after yourself if you're feeling stressed about it all - we do have a one to one parenting coaching/counselling service that is free of charge, you can access that here if you'd find it helpful to chat with a professional about what's been going on for you. 

 

Wishing you all the best, please keep us posted on how you're going. 

View solution in original post

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Casual scribe
Caroline

Re: Drug abuse

She is 19 and is buying from a friend I would imagine.
It was her car and we are waiting to see if the insurance pays out

I have read the topics you suggested and yes they are helpful but not really the situation that I am in
I don’t talk to her she’s like a stranger
Community Manager
Bre-RO

Re: Drug abuse

Hey @Caroline just wanted to check in and see how you and your daughter are going? It does sound like your daughter needs some help to see how Xanax is impacting her life. It might be worth looking into some addiction support for her, would you be open to me finding some support for you both? 

Casual scribe
Caroline

Re: Drug abuse

Well not really good
I had some consequences ready but my husband wanted to deliver them in the weekend but I wanted to do it right away. In the meantime she has taken lifts from people who could have gone via the drug dealer from work.
So I’m not talking to my husband or daughter and home life is no good
So I try not to go home and if I do I go to my room and pretend to be asleep
Don’t really know what to do
I just feel I can’t just forgive my daughter and be ok with it
I feel she’ll
Just get worse as time goes on

Mod
Andrea-RO

Re: Drug abuse

Hey @Caroline

 

I am so sorry to hear that you've really been struggling recently, it sounds like this situation has impacted your mental health and wellbeing hugely recently. I wanted to check in on whether you had any supports for yourself at the moment. Is there anyone you can talk to about things when you are feeling overwhelmed?

Scribe
Tinalee73

Re: Drug abuse

Hi there,
My daughter experiences this too, i wondered if you received any support or help?
Im also not sure what to do.
She doesn't trust many people so im not harsh with her. Yet i don't approve of her taking this stuff.
So sorry that i can't be of help to you, I hope things are going ok for you.

Mod
Sophia-RO

Re: Drug abuse

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Hello @Tinalee73 , sorry to hear about what you are going through. It sounds like things are tough for you and your daughter at the moment. I am wondering if you have had a chance to look at some of the other resources linked on this thread and if you have found them to be helpful? If you are looking to talk to a counsellor about what you are going through or looking for some alcohol/drug advice or referrals you can contact Directline. They are a service that offers free and confidential counselling. Hope this helps. 

 

I also just wanted to let you know that I have had to edit some of your post to make sure if keeps within our community guidelines which you can view here if you'd like to.

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