My 11 year old daughter is self harming

[Rustythedog1]

My 11 year old aspergers daughter has started to self harm. At first she tried to hide it but now she has admitted it to us and I am seeking help for her.  She said she is very unhappy and that nothing in her life makes her happy anymore like it used to?  I am trying to get her out of her room and start doing things again that she used to like but it is hard in the current situation.  She doesnt have many friends at all that she can talk to

[Taylor-RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @Rustythedog1, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for being so brave in sharing that. It is great that you have taken the step of seeking support for your daughter. It is not always an easy step to take and can be filled with so much uncertainty. This situation we are all in at the moment is making a lot of things more difficult and complex - we hear you. I was wondering if you have developed any coping strategies or a safety plan with the support service? You could also ensure that your daughter knows she can access crisis support services like Kids Helpline, Lifeline, eHeadspace and Beyond Blue. Some of these services also have web-chat if talking on the phone is not suitable 

There is also a service called ParentLine which offers telephone counselling. It also has a number of referrals and resources that may be helpful for you. So with that being said, I am wondering how you have been able to take care of your well-being throughout this time?

[Rustythedog1 · Accepted solution]

Yes I have now taken steps in putting available help lines and numbers in her room when she feels the need to reach out. I understand that sometimes she can't talk to her parents about this:
I am also making an appointment for her to see a psychologist who specialises in these cases
I appreciate your feedback.
Thanks and regards
Dawn

[TOM-RO · Accepted solution]

Hey @Rustythedog1 

It sounds like you're on top of it and taking all the right steps.

Feel free to keep us updated with it all, we're always here to listen.

[Louise2000 · Accepted solution]

There could be an issue somewhere that is making her feel that way. Is she a product of a broken home? If not, how is your relation to your spouse, is she witnessing violence at home? If all is well at home, try to check how she is doing in school. She might be a victim of bullying. Is she surrounded by multi-talented kids? How does she participate in extra-co in school? Sometimes, they do it because they feel they are less better than the other kids, it is an issue of self-confidence crushed. 

Good thing that you have asked help from the expert. Anyhow, take time to talk to her always, always be on her side and assure her that you are always willing to listen. From there, she might slowly open up about how she feels. Her thoughts. Been there, my 10-yr old will always say she wanted to commit suicide but she fears God will not like it and she will go to hell, so she would pray for her death instead. There are stages in our lives that we just feel empty and we don't know why.  

I never ceased giving time talking to her, hug her before she goes to sleep. Then she opens up. Everything that bothers her, her hatred to my nagging, her brothers bullying, my separation to her dad, her hatred to her father. Imagine those things she is carrying all throughout. We were able to overcome it without the help of the professional though, time, love and attention. 

She is better now than before, not perfectly fine but I have seen improvements. Nothing can beat time and attention given to kids, that is for sure. 

[Taylor-RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @Rustythedog1, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for being so brave in sharing that. It is great that you have taken the step of seeking support for your daughter. It is not always an easy step to take and can be filled with so much uncertainty. This situation we are all in at the moment is making a lot of things more difficult and complex - we hear you. I was wondering if you have developed any coping strategies or a safety plan with the support service? You could also ensure that your daughter knows she can access crisis support services like Kids Helpline, Lifeline, eHeadspace and Beyond Blue. Some of these services also have web-chat if talking on the phone is not suitable 

There is also a service called ParentLine which offers telephone counselling. It also has a number of referrals and resources that may be helpful for you. So with that being said, I am wondering how you have been able to take care of your well-being throughout this time?

[Rustythedog1 · Accepted solution]

Yes I have now taken steps in putting available help lines and numbers in her room when she feels the need to reach out. I understand that sometimes she can't talk to her parents about this:
I am also making an appointment for her to see a psychologist who specialises in these cases
I appreciate your feedback.
Thanks and regards
Dawn

[TOM-RO · Accepted solution]

Hey @Rustythedog1 

It sounds like you're on top of it and taking all the right steps.

Feel free to keep us updated with it all, we're always here to listen.

[Louise2000 · Accepted solution]

There could be an issue somewhere that is making her feel that way. Is she a product of a broken home? If not, how is your relation to your spouse, is she witnessing violence at home? If all is well at home, try to check how she is doing in school. She might be a victim of bullying. Is she surrounded by multi-talented kids? How does she participate in extra-co in school? Sometimes, they do it because they feel they are less better than the other kids, it is an issue of self-confidence crushed. 

Good thing that you have asked help from the expert. Anyhow, take time to talk to her always, always be on her side and assure her that you are always willing to listen. From there, she might slowly open up about how she feels. Her thoughts. Been there, my 10-yr old will always say she wanted to commit suicide but she fears God will not like it and she will go to hell, so she would pray for her death instead. There are stages in our lives that we just feel empty and we don't know why.  

I never ceased giving time talking to her, hug her before she goes to sleep. Then she opens up. Everything that bothers her, her hatred to my nagging, her brothers bullying, my separation to her dad, her hatred to her father. Imagine those things she is carrying all throughout. We were able to overcome it without the help of the professional though, time, love and attention. 

She is better now than before, not perfectly fine but I have seen improvements. Nothing can beat time and attention given to kids, that is for sure. 

[nellyevent]

Is there a way for you to learn what can be the reason? Does she listen to music?

[Rustythedog1]

She doesn't know the reason she said.she is just very unhappy.I have just discovered this week that she has just started her period which I guess has added to the problem.

[Rustythedog1]

Thanks for your reply.we are now very conscious to spend more time with her and I have given her all the info on self help groups for herself in case she does not want to talk to us.she is autistic and I think she feels isolated and different from other girls.

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Rustythedog1, it is really great that you have given your daughter information about self-help groups. Are there any particular activities you do with her to spend time together?