11-14-2017 01:26 AM
11-14-2017 06:51 PM
Hi @Robmitch561, welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing. I just wanted to let you know that we're an Australian site so unfortunately some of our resources won't be useful for you. We can still offer you support, that's universal, so please feel free to stay!
It can be a really confusing time for teens and parents, as teens work out who they are. I love that you are being so supportive and letting your daughter know how much you love her as she's exploring these thoughts and feelings.
There is some great information here you might like to have a read through. There's also another thread here that offers some great advice so wanted to hook you up with that. I hope the links can be helpful for you.
11-14-2017 07:03 PM
The theme I got from your post was definitely "Unconditional love", which is so beautiful and such a wonderful gift to give your daughter. All of your concerns are understandable, I think the best thing to do in these situation's is have a good look from every lens; but also provide yourself with self care and understanding if you can't quite get your head around it. So long as your Daughter feels loved and supported it sounds like the outcome will be positive for both of you.
Have you been able to have another conversation with her since the other night?
Look forward to hearing from you.
11-15-2017 12:29 AM
01-10-2018 05:40 AM
Thank you for posting. We too are dealing with gender issues with our daughter. She is pansexual, which for our family isn't really an issue. I find it lovely that she can love someone based on who they are inside regardless of gender/sex. We found out by accident and she was ashamed and still doesn't want to talk about it even though its been a few years and she has a girl friend.
Our current issue has been gender confusion. She is a senior and has attended an alternative small charter HS. Which is great for her social anxiety. Since attending this school though she has found some friendly people that are trans, fluid etc. She never had gender issues that I could see as a younger child and I wonder if she has been influenced by her school, internet, anime/cosplay etc. She doesn't have many "physical" friends and is constantly on her phone with her internet friends. She has been using a binder and calling herself by a male name at school, which I just found out about and is a bit shocking as she tried to lie about it. I think I'm just venting at this point. She has asked about therapy because she is confused and we are currently trying to find a good therapist with a good fit and "no harm" attitude (surgery/hormones).
My husband says we just need to love and support her and she will figure it out, but I'm having such a hard time and its on my mind constantly.
01-10-2018 10:24 AM
Welcome @CSculptor, thanks for joining the conversation! Like @Robmitch561, there is so much unconditional love coming across in your post. It sounds like you're doing all the right things - finding a good therapist, keeping the lines of communication open (well, as much as that is possible with a teenager!), making sure they know they have your love and support.
I notice you're based in the US too, so I don't have any local support links on hand but have you checked out PFLAG or similar organisations?
02-24-2018 02:59 PM
02-24-2018 03:34 PM
Hi @Momto2 @Robmitch561 @CSculptor it's great to see you all supporting each other on this forum. I just thought it might be helpful to add this RO resource to the mix as it helps to define sexuality concepts and has some key things to remember about external influences (parenting, friends, society) and sexuality.
Namely, that research suggests that sexuality is not a choice rather our sexual orientation (and our gender id) is most likely "caused" by a biological factor that starts before birth. So rather than being "troubled" I believe these young people may be feeling isolated, misunderstood, different or stigmatised, which may then lead to negative outcomes.
Supportive parenting can significantly impact your teen’s ability to have a positive outlook on their lives, so keep doing what you're doing (love, compassion and seeking out support and knowledge)
12-18-2018 01:52 AM
12-18-2018 05:15 AM