03-18-2018 03:22 PM
03-18-2018 04:17 PM
I don't know what language you are using with your son, and it could be he is just extra sensitive. But I've had this battle with my wife about "telling" and "asking". These little words are important. I try really hard to "ask" my son to do things. If he says he is busy right now (even if it looks to me like he is just playing XBOX), I'll negotiate for him to do it after he finishes. I've got him to the stage where sometimes I can say "look mate, I'm sorry but this one has to be done now, then you can get back to ...." and he will usually do it without a fight. On those few occasions when it is urgent I do insist he does it.
It seems to me your son is a man now. He expects to be treated like one. That comes with responsibilities too. Maybe you can tell him that?
Your new partner should treat him like that too. I wouldn't walk into another man's house and try to straighten him out. That is not going to end well. Guys do talk (yeah, seriously). Over a BBQ plate is a good place for a conversation (yeah, seriously). That's where peers talk, but we don't lecture each other. In the car is another good place for a chat.
Maybe you have a chance for another great connection with your son. He is a man you trust, and you're navigating a relationship with a new man. Is your son a source of ideas about what gift to buy for your partner? Can he help you with questions like "what's this footy team my partner is always talking about" or "what does it mean when he says a RAV4 is not a proper 4 wheel drive?" Guy talk. Let him know his opinion counts.
Good luck EJ
09-12-2018 01:14 PM
09-12-2018 04:23 PM
That sounds like a really tough situation when your son is pulling away, even more so when you have both been so close. I do think you are right in saying that is sort of behaviour is really common for young people, however that doesn't make it any less painful for you right now Have you got any other people in your support network who can support you through this period?