Hi All
This topic is so close to my heart sometimes it's hard to talk about. The wounds still have not healed.
I have needed to remove my children from a total of 4 schools due to bullying.
School 1 was in a small country town in the Mid North Coast, my children were in this school for only 2 years. The the time my Daughter was in my year 5, Son #1 in yr 3 and son #2 in yr 2. My daughter was intimidated and teased daily, she would come home crying and refuse to go to school, one day thumb tacks were put on her seat and she sat on them, my son was physically abused by 11 children in a group, he was also bullied by teachers, youngest at the time, was not doing to bad actually, however when he first started at the school he was held down by a group of kids (mind u he was only on kindy then). No joke, it was getting to the point I was losing my children and my sanity. The teachers were over worked in this school. 90% had been there, for their whole teaching career, and were retiring one by one, term by term, including the Principal. (He's another story in itself) By pure chance I was given the opportunity to enrol them in a Christian private school and the school fees were subsidised dramatically because I was in carers payment. So for the next two years we were happy, healthy and learned to be a family again.
Then we came back to Sydney. They were terrified of the thought of going to a Govt school but I could not afford a private school here, no subsidy in the city 😬. They didn't accept Son #2 either due to his diagnosis of ADHD/ODD either. Even though due to his old school he was the best he'd ever been. Term one 2014, my daughter went to Govt High school which was great, the boys went to a Catholic School primary lasted 7 wks, the children of the school weren't the issue it was the teachers. Only option left was a local rural type Govt school, it was like they were back in the Mid North Coast, I watched a group of kids physically abuse him near a fence. They were 3 siblings from a dysfunctional family who didn't like the new kid. That was only the start. For 6 months I was called to the school mainly for #2. He was angry, lost, beaten, harassed even when he was at home. Again I went to the dept, wrote numerous letters, and I had to change schools again. BTW it was still only October 2014. So in 12 months we were up to school number 3. One boy in year 6 and one in year4. Back to another catholic school which was wonderful.
In 2015 #2 hit high school. The school where my DD was, was now considered out if our area, and would not accept him. The high school for our area was the worst known, the new one was not built. So, the only choice we had was the Catholic one. For the first term it was great, once the honeymoon period was over and the kids realised my son was different it was on. He was once again the picked on kid. Constantly in fights, refusing to listen, refusing to go to school, all he had going for him was his incredible talent to play the drums. Sadly I thought it was him being defiant and acting out. In April last year, (2016) my DD decided to change schools, purely BC the catholic school offered a program with the local TAFE on year 10. After 3 months she informed me she had made a mistake. She witness her younger brother be bullied, bashed, insulted almost everyday. No one knew who she was, one day she stepped in and pushed a group of kids off him. It worked until they found out she was his sister. In and amongst all this, there were many emails back and forth from the school. They blamed my son. The profanity, sexual harassment, disgusting insults and physical abuse took its toll by term 4. #3 went there for his yr7 orientation (Monday). He saw #2 minding his own business eating his lunch, out of nowhere a group of boys walked up behind him, and hit him, his lunch fell out of his mouth, the food fell out of his hand, the boys laughed and walked off. #2 cleaned himself off and walked away. #3 watched in disgust but could get to his big brother to help him. That afternoon he told me #2 was not making up the bullying stories it was real!!! A day later, #2 was to do a detention for defending himself. I refused to let him go so I was called the principal's office. (Friday) I showed him photos of the rotten food thrown into my daughters hair on on her clothing more than once while on the school bus, I could go on forever trust me, I repeated to him the disgusting words from his students, he asked me to stop and choose wiser words. I stared at him with disgust, then principal gave me an ultimatum that I let him do the detention or find another school. Well I found a new school. I am now financially stretched but all children are in a private and safe environment. So far so good. They have been there since November, and loving it. #3 is now in high school so they are together. #2 has his guard up. He's very fragile.
But he's no longer suicidal.
He is smiling
No depression for 4 months
HE WANTS TO GO TO SCHOOL!!!
Sorry this has been so long, but once I start I can't stop.
LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN! Watch them, get to know them. Go with your gut. If they don't want to go to school, the the reason is not because it's boring then something is going on. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE , report the bullying. So many people keep it to themselves or "just wait it out". Its not going to go away. Anymore than 6 months change schools. If things don't change within 6 months, it's not going to. Most importantly keep the communication open with your kids. Be there advocate. If they feel everyone at school is against them, they need you. Don't make the mistake I made. I seriously thought my kid was the problem. Many schools cannot cope with bullying. So they turn a blind eye. It's too hard or too big for them.
I think I better stop now. If you want to ask me questions or want to know more please let me know. This is a very censored story.
