Frustrated with getting our teenagers to do the basics in life without a debate on why we are wrong.

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Parent Peer Supporter

Re: Frustrated with getting our teenagers to do the basics in life without a debate on why we are wr

Hi @Valerieb, as @Ngaio-RO said, this is such a common problem with teens, so please know you're not alone! My daughter is the same, and we seemed to go in a cycle of me asking and asking and asking, then getting annoyed, she picks up after herself for a couple of days, then the cycle starts again. It's so frustrating!! 

 

Her room is digusting, but she doesn't seem to mind it. She'll leave her rubbish and glasses around the loungeroom, then go into her room, leaving everything there for the magical, mystical fairies to wave their wands over. I call her out now and calmly ask her put the rubbish in the bin and and washing up to the sink. She used to leave her towels on the bathroom floor, I became sick of telling her to hang them up, so started putting them in her room. She learnt quickly that she doesn't like getting dried with wet, smelly towels, so she hangs them up now. 

 

I think your idea of a list of daily and weekly jobs is a great idea. I've done that too, and at least it gives them something physical to see on the wall of what their jobs are. Having discussions around behaviours is a great idea too. I really recommend the parent coaching Ngaio mentioned. I did it a few months ago and the coach can work with you to come up with workable solutions that you can implement right away.

 

A course I found useful was the Triple P parenting course. Have you heard of it? It might be worth looking in to as well.   

 

 

 

 

Casual scribe

Re: Frustrated with getting our teenagers to do the basics in life without a debate on why we are wr

What a wonderful reply! I fully agree. Oh... and one idea / suggestion for door slamming: take the door off! They can earn the door back. Once they have shown that they can have a door in the room, they can have it back.
Active scribe

Re: Frustrated with getting our teenagers to do the basics in life without a debate on why we are wr

I know how that feels Smiley Sad I’ve definitely had challenges with my kids, but something that has worked well for me is to take the time when they make a mistake and use it as a learning opportunity.

 

In essence, I find out what mistake they’ve made; I often share a story about how I struggled with it; I relate why it’s important to something my kids find important; and then I let my kids talk about how they would do something different and we have a discussion.

 

I’ve learned more about my two boys in the last 8 months than I thought possible!

Parent Peer Supporter

Re: Frustrated with getting our teenagers to do the basics in life without a debate on why we are wr

Hey @Nancy0115, thank you for your comments. They have been edited as we do not allow websites to be advertised without prior permission. As we're an Australian site, we like to keep our resources local as well. Could I please get you to have a read through the guidelines here.

 

What are some of the things you've learned about your sons recently. Conversations are an awesome way of getting to know how our kids think isn't it!