How do I talk about drugs with a teenager?

[gina-Ro]

Question: When you are taking more and more risks with drugs, what do you wish your parents were saying to you versus what they usually say? What can a parent say, instead of using ‘the big stick’ approach?

Submit your question here.

We have over 10 young people ready and willing to share their thoughts and experiences!

Our youth volunteers have shared their thoughts, what are yours? 

What do you / would you say to your teen if you thought they were using drugs? Is the advice above helpful? 

[Jay-RO]

Hey everyone! I thought I might tag some of the parents who have made a post on drugs as the answers for this question might provide some helpful insight for you

@RMBF79 @What_to_do @ihavefailed @Bestapproach @sunflowermom @saphyra @Nikkita @Sarah2856 @amour81 

I hope you are all having a wonderful week!

[Nikkita]

Hi
My 14 year old son is has depression & he self medicates with marijuana & alcohol. I've just picked him up from the police station, possibly involved in stealing. How do I get him to accept that drugs & alcohol aren't a long term solution? He says he knows that but I feel like the desire to have a good time with his "friends" is more important.

[gina-Ro]

Hi @Nikkita , that is a really tough situation - sorry to hear that your son is having contact with police, it must be stressful for you both. 

Your point about your son self medicating is important - if he feels that the alcohol and weed help with his depression, he will likely to continue to do it.  
If he can find an alternative treatment that also helps him, you may have better luck supporting him to change coping strategies. 

Perhaps you could have a chat with him about what it is about weed and alcohol that he finds helpful? This could offer you some insight into how to best support him to find another ways of coping. 

For example, if he finds the alcohol helpful because it connects him to his friends, perhaps there is another activity he could try with his friends - like surfing, or sport - that is safer for him? 

What did you think of the young people's advice in the post above?

Let us know how you and your son are 

[Nikkita]

Hi
He says it numbs his pain for awhile. I've told him they are depressants & will make his depression worse. He just wants to have a good time with his friends.
He won't do any physical activity.
He takes antidepressants. I've organised headspace & another service for him to talk to someone.
He says smoking tobacco helps him deal with his stress.

[Nikkita]

The advice about being a be to call your parents if you need them resonated with me. My son knows he can call me no matter what time. He knows I'll always be there for him.

[gina-Ro]

Hey there @Nikkita , I am very sorry this reply is so late after you posted. 

But thank you for sharing your son's experience - you sound like a wonderfully supportive person in his life, and the fact that he knows he can call you in times of need is a testament to that. 

Great to hear that he's open to go to headspace and get some help there too. 

Has the appointment happened yet? If so, how did it go? 

I really do hope that he will figure out for himself how to meet his needs without the harms of alcohol and drugs - and that while he does so, he knows that he will have you there every step of way.  
Sometimes this is a process for young people before they take the active steps they need to - being a consistent source of support, and open communication is really important. 

If you're looking for more resources for yourself in knowing how to help, there is a great service called Family Drug Support that has a support line you can call on 1300 368 186  - they specialise in supporting family members of those using drugs. 

We also have more info over here on our parent website about drugs and teens 

[Nikkita]

Hi Gina
He didn't go to headspace.
He won't go to alcohol counselling, I've offered many appointments to him.
Thank you for the Family Drug Sipport link & number. I'll check it out.