My teen daughter has just come out as a transgender male

[Proudas]

Hi everyone.

I am new here. My 14 yr daughter old has just come out to me as wanting to transition to live life as a male. I am so in awe of his bravery and so heartbroken at what I know has been a very difficult and fraught time for him.

I initially obtained support for him to help with the awful social anxiety and awkwardness he was suffering. We ended up with a wonderful neuro psychologist and she help my son admit what was in his heart and he got the courage up to tell me 2 weeks ago. Then only think I regret is the anguish he has gone through and the thought I might not love him once I knew. I am so worried about supporting him the right way and letting him know he is loved so much so unconditionally. His father also knows and is being supportive as does my mother whom he is extremely close too. 

I guess I am here for advice, and to ask if anyone knows of any NSW/Sydney based forums of parents with teens going through gender dysphoria and transition. My son has a nice group of friends who know and are supportive, however he wants to change school to have a fresh start. This concerns me and he loses is friends group. and I also want to make sure I send him to a transgender supportive school. Any real life anecdotal experiences would be amazing!

I have connected myself and my son with the Gender Centre and I have an appointment with one of their counsellors Thursday morning. I guess I will find out a lot more then.

He is desperate to change schools, I am ok with him doing that, but want to make sure he is aware his fears might still come true at any new school he attends. I am so proud of him, I think he is the bravest and most amazing person I know. I just want to make sure I do what I can do support him in the way he needs. 

Thanks so much. What a great forum. I had never been on here before until now. 

Thanks again. 

[gina-Ro]

Hi @Proudas, a big welcome to our forum. Thank you for joining, and for sharing your experience with your transgender teenager.

You are very clearly super supportive and showing a lot of love and care for your teen. It must be a really challenging time for you as you come to terms with what your son has been and is going through. But also a really incredible time for you and your son as he can now start to openly be his true self. The acceptance and support from you, his dad, and your mother, must mean the world to him. Awesome to hear he has a supportive group of friends as well. 

Sounds like you've linked in with a few good services already - the Gender Centre is a great place to start. They will have good knowledge of other services in the area too, and should be able to assist with the supportive schools inquiry. 

Another few services that may be able to give you and your son support are - 

QLife -  qlife.org.au - Phone: 1800 184 527 

Twenty10  -  twenty10.org.au Phone -  8594 9555 

ACON -  www.acon.org.au Phone: 1800 063 060

The other thing you might want to check out is our website page about parents of transgender teens - here. 

We also have some real stories and experiences of trans teens on our youth site - here  and here

. 

I'll tag some other members too to give you some ideas and support! @hippychick @sunflowermom @Rowanna @Tulip 

[Mama-B]

Did you always secretly suspect?  Were there hints through their childhood to enable you to embrace this 'coming out'?  

My feminine 16 yr old daughter was always a girly-girl growing up and had an natural attraction to boys.  We never doubted that she was hetero.  For the past 6 months we figured and accepted her to be developing a bi-curiosity.  Out of the blue she announced 4 weeks ago that she is genderfluid (which I can also wrap my head around), but has also requested to change her name to a distinctly male name, started always dressing as male, wearing a binder, cropping hair short and adopting a swagger instead of walking naturally. She/they have had a girlfriend for about 2 months who claims she's lesbian but seems to prefer my child to present as a male boyfriend.  My child has never expressed any interest in transitioning to male before and I am deeply concerned that they might be being manipulated into looking and acting more than they naturally feel, just to please this girl (first romantic relationship)  My protective maternal instincts are in over-drive and I am distraught beyond words.  Any advice?