Parties & Alcohol - tips for keeping teens safe

[Luula]

With schoolies in full swing and New Year's Eve fast approaching I'm wondering how you talk to your teens about staying safe when they are going out.

Do you set expectations around alcohol, drugs, cigarettes etc? Do you have a curfew in place? Please share your tips below.

[Luula]

@seaglecc, @mumlittlehelper, @Mitzi I'd love to know how you approach alcohol and parties with your teens.

[mumlittlehelper]

Hi, this is a difficult subject as teens are turning into adults, I was brought up in England and growing up as children we were allowed to drink, we all drank a bit but not much, now as adults none of my family are big drinkers.

i think a lot of people turn it into a big issue, by making it seem like some big issue.  I allowed my children to have sips of my drinks as they grew up, If I drink it's mainly beer so not too strong.  My children now don't drink much at if at all!  My son had a party and some parents were angry with me because they were worried about their kids and I did not get it, until the party started,wow those kids got out of control!  The ones who were the most sensible were the ones who had grown up with it not being a big deal. That son when he turned 21 all his friends wanted him to have a yard of ? As apparently it's custom, he was not at all keen, so had no alcoholic beer as he does not want to waste the day feeling bad, there are far more important things to do.

i would also say it's about communication, trust and love.  Not do as I say and not as I do!  If you want your child to have a good start, being the person you hope they can be is always a good model for them.

[Mitzi]

I have a fairly simplistic view. I think we all have our addictions in various forms. Mine were cigarettes, shopping and food. Parenthood costs cured my shopping problem. My 17-y-o son grew up with me and extended family members smoking and he hated it, I finally gave up 18 months ago. He has was always on at me to quit and would present me with the latest findings he had brought home from school.

I've talked to my son about my own underage drinking. Hell, I was working in a pub at 15. I talked to him about the sequence of

• hating the taste
• feeling good and happy after 1 drink so surely after 10 I'll feel magnificent
• binge-drinking to oblivion and experiencing blackouts
• unearthly god-forsaken hangovers.

With my son, I know he has an apple cider now and then but so far no blotto drunkeness to my knowledge. He knows I smoked marijuana at university and I told him even though I haven't had it for many years, I support medicinal use. I told him I thought he would probably try it but that he had to be aware it was against the law and he could be charged. Since that, he told me he did try it but wasn't overly impressed.

With our kids it can just be the luck of the draw. My aunt has 4 children all brought up with love, support and every possible privilege. Her younger son has battled heroin addiction his entire adult life. Why did he succumb to that and the other 3 not?

If I had a point in mind when I started writing this post, I've lost it. Maybe it was just to make sure your teenager is well informed, understands how drugs and alcohol can lead us to make very bad choices, And hope for the best. Because they will experiment.

[mumlittlehelper]

Exactly keep it real, explain the good and bad things, kids aren't stupid, if everyone else is doing it, it can't be that bad. As teenagers they want to make their own minds up about things, by giving them support and advice they can trust you and by seeing that you trust them to helps them to feel more able to take what you have to say into account. And helps them feel more able to make their own mind up and not be peer pressured as much.

[readthemanual]

Is it the reason why we are here? Even though I come from totally different culture, I agree with all of u. In fact I just entertained my daughter with a bottle of vodka. She said she didn't like her friends cheap alcohol with redbull,vodka neither, the good wines we seldom have with guests taste better.
Yes,trust is very important.

[Ngaio-RO]

It's a huge topic this one, isn't it! Addressing issues related to alcohol and drugs is always tricky, but especially so with alcohol. The fact that it's legal and so socially acceptable while at the same time having so many health warnings about regular or excessive use, makes it a bit of a minefield as far as parenting goes.

All the latest research says delay, delay, delay. For young people to wait as long as possible before they start drinking is the ideal approach for their brain, but clearly there's value in a range of approaches, including encouraging a relaxed relationship with alcohol, like the French and Italians do.

I'm really interested to hear what helped you decide on your approach. @readthemanual, @mumlittlehelper and @Mitzi what helped you guys decide how you would deal with the alcohol issue in your home?

[Alexendra]

Children are innocent, naive and generally unaware of their actions. Hence they are most vulnerable to developing bad habits easily. If these practices go unchecked at early stages, they become rigid bad habits for life which are hard to give up. Being a parent we should guide them.