Son's girlfriend forcing him to do sex acts...

[PotatoCake]

Help. Please. 

My son is a great kid. Smart, wants to be a doctor, head of the school next year and has everything going for him. His girlfriend of 6 months is scarilly manipulative. She forced him to do a sex act, even though he told her his did not want to do it. She forces him to perform sex acts in public. She tell him that she will send nudes to men if he does not buy her things. She is incredibly dangerous, but he cannot see it. She is his first girlfriend and he wants to help her, because he "loves" her. What do I do? How can I make him see sense before something happens that will ruin his life forever?

[TOM-RO]

Hey @PotatoCake welcome to the ReachOut Parent Forums, 

I'm really sorry to hear that you have been struggling with the relationship your son is in, and it is totally normal to be concerned as a parent. It is good to hear that you and your son have a very trusting and supportive relationship, in which he feels comfortable telling you about the situation he is in. 

It might be helpful to talk to your son about what he can do if his girlfriend puts him in a situation where he feels uncomfortable, particularly if that situation regards sex. ParentLine might be a useful resource to call, as they are counsellors which specialise in providing support to parents about numerous issues, their number in WA is 1800 654 432. You could also encourage your son to talk to a school counsellor about the situation as well, or he can call kids helpline as a teenager, or young adult depending on his age.

- Andrea

I'll also tag some other users of the forum so you can get some feedback from other parents - 
@Dad4good @sunflowermom @Maria @hippychick

[PotatoCake]

Thank you. I will definitely call the helpline. I'm at wit's end.

[sunflowermom]

Hi @PotatoCake

I know this has to be incredibly scary for you.  I understand that feeling when our kids our being manipulated and we have little control over it.  If you try to forbid him from seeing her it will make her completely irresistible.  At least you have his confidence about what they are doing sexually and her manipulation.

Please get him to research the chocking thing online or from a professional.  I'm afraid it could go horribly wrong easily and result in a tragedy.

I know our kids will date people that are totally wrong for them.  Just staying in open honest communication with your son is going to be the best line of defense for both of you.  Try not to say too much negative stuff about her in front of him- ( I think it might close the door on his openness with you) 

hugs

[hippychick]

Hi @PotatoCake

Sounds like your son has a very toxic relationship going on at the moment. Im not sure if he told you what happened with her in co fidence..do his friends know? Is there one of his friends that could talk to hima bout how dangerous this girl is? Failing that, if you have a good relationship with your son, perhaps you could sit with him and talk about the issues in an adult way...use facts, research, legal ramifications, always listen even if he interrupts you...make plenty of time available for the co versation and perhaps have it in a place where there are minimal distractions and minimal routes for him to exit..like a quiet walk somewhere or in a park or in the car. I know boys dont often like face to face talking..dont make the conversation about you..forget things like 'Im so worried for you' or 'You will ruin your life being with her' dont accuse her...just keep to the facts and use examples of research...when hes had enough, leave it to sink in..be patient and try again another time. Obviously if he has a friend that could do this it would also work really well but if he has none he has told or you dont trust them then that wont work. I wish you luck and hope he gets through this rough time.

Emma