Eating disorders

[Beno50]

Hi,

just to wanted to tell the world that I had to put my daughter in hospital again for her eating disorder.  I am upset and terribly distressed that this had to happen again and feel disappointed at the lack of support you get from the medical services.  We told them that I was unwell and needed help.  I had my operation and they still didn't admit her.  She is violent and abusive.

[Erin-RO]

Understandably it sounds like you're feeling pretty exhausted, upset and unsupported at the moment @Beno50. Please know you're not alone. Quite a few of our members have experienced similar circumstances, so I'm sure the community will jump in shortly and offer their support and advice.

In the meantime, do you have any mental health supports (counsellor or psychologist) in place for yourself? I'm just thinking perhaps a one-to-one chat may help to alleviate some of the distress and perhaps help to plan what to do next...

If you don't currently have someone, just remember there are helpline services that are accessible 24/7 such as: Lifeline 13 11 14 for crisis support  or Mensline 1300 78 99 78 for general, relationship and family / parenting counselling.

[Beno50]

Thanks. For responding, I am going to go and see my gp on Tuesday and take it from there. I have reached out to family members as well. I just need someone who has been through this, I guess

[Breez-RO]

Hey @Beno50 absolutely, sometimes we just want to feel less alone. You absolutely are not alone, and this is a great online community with tonnes of support. I am going to tag some other members so they can read over this and provide their own insight How do you feel about the GP appointment?

@taokat @sunflowermom @Happy @Schooner @Dakotah

[Beno50]

Not sure, when I was in hospital before my surgery and they couldn't find out what was wrong the dr's thought I had a mental illness and didn't acknowledge that my pain was real for a fortnight and that was the same with my partner. Just overwhelmed I guess

[Schooner]

Hi @Beno50,

I had a feeling of failure the first time my son went in to hospital for depression and anxiety. It was hard to face, in particular because I didn't see it coming. The 18 months that followed that were the toughest of my life. 

Often I felt we were not getting the support we needed. It seemed to me that the system responded to crisis situations. Often it responded well. But I did feel that it would have been better to respond before the crisis, to head it off. The burden of carrying him in between those interventions fell to me. Hard work.

I don't know the answer. I came to view my son's times in hospital as a respite time...and wished it were a little longer. 

Hang in there.

Cheers

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Beno50,

How are you going today? We are all thinking of you right now. 

What you have been going through with your daughter is so hard, and I am so sorry to hear that she is back in hospital- I can imagine that this must be such a painful and difficult time for you 

As a person who has supported loved ones in hospital, I know that it can be so exhausting to do by yourself, so I am glad to hear that you have reached out to others, like us here and your family. Have they been supportive through this experience?

It sounds like there is also a lot going on with your health right now too and that you have been experiencing a lot of pain. 

@Schooner has spoken here about their experiences supporting their son during and after a hospital admission. Does your daughter have supports in place to help her recovery when she comes home? I'm not sure if you have come across the butterfly foundation before, but they are a great place for support for young people and families impacted by eating disorders.

I hope you know that you are not alone here, and that we are here to offer support when you need it

[Beno50]

Hi, thanks for offering your support. I am doing a little better today. Home alone so I don't need to see the concern on my son's and partners faces as they are terrible worried that I will have a nervous breakdown

[Schooner]

Glad to hear you are doing better.

For me, it took a long time to recover from exhaustion. I'm pretty sure I've got some sort of PTSD from the experience. The thought of having to take my son back to ED still hits me hard (luckily that is not likely at the moment - fingers crossed) and a phone call from the school sends my anxiety shooting up. Look after yourself, I wouldn't expect complete improvement in a short time.

Cheers

[seekwisdom]

I am glad to hear that you are feeling better. I am thinking and praying for you and your daughter.