Connect with other parents: School refusal

[Sophia-RO]

Hello @Seahorse47, sounds like you have been really proactive so far in supporting your son. You raise a good point about needing to use helpful and positive strategies to help us cope. Have you been able to try out some different or more positive coping strategies with your son so he can get a sense of what is helpful for him? Hopefully some other community members are able to jump in and offer some support soon.

[kellyschoey]

Hi There, Are there any parents of 15 year old boys on here? Our son has struggled with school all his life and has had many changes of school because of this. Im wondering if there are any other options of working instead of going to school? Our son has dabbled in working and loves it. He was working recently with a builder and he really enjoyed it and grew up a lot. Now he is back at school, a new school and problems have started already. Surely schools can sign off on kids leaving if they have proof of a job? Any info would be appreciated. Thanks Kelly

[Janine-RO]

Hi @kellyschoey ,

Gosh that sounds hard- hopefully some other parents with boys will be able to share their experiences here. I am wondering if you've looked into any programs that TAFEs offer, or some of the hybrid options (for example, in NSW there are some places that are designed for kids who don't thrive in traditional schooling, they offer a blended model that combines vocational education/ practical skills and the basic requirements for year 10)

What do you think your son would love to do, if he was able to choose anything at the moment? 

The law varies slightly across different states, but my understanding is that most states will require kids to be in formal education at his age. However different schools do offer some really creative options to appeal to kids who don't necessarily thrive at school - for example the high school my daughter's about to start at offers a range of vocational programs the whole way through high school. Younger kids are allowed to 'work' in the school cafe, then there's options for kids to complete a range of vocational certificates and qualifications in areas like childcare, hospitality, retail, and horticultural studies. I definitely agree with you that some kids just don't thrive in classroom only learning! 

Would you like me to have a little look around at programs that might be helpful? Have you connected with the student support services at your current school? Most TAFES and universities can also offer advice and help over the phone for your particular circumstances as well, so that might be another avenue that's worth looking at. Thanks so much for joining the conversation here- hopefully some other parents will be able to add their experiences as well

[Wingingit]

Hello I’m new here. Both my son (13) and daughter (10) have been school refusing on and off. My sons new counsellor asked if we have ever had him assessed for learning issues which I have never thought of as he gets reasonable grades despite the absences. The school system doesn’t always suit every child’s style of comprehension I think. So much pressure on kids this age too!

[Seahorse47]

Hi @kellyschoey, yes I have 15yo old who is school-feuding for past 2months, we haven’t got to the stage of considering alternatives yet (still hoping).

What does legislation say about school leaver age and sign-off?

[Hannah-RO]

Hey @Wingingit 

Welcome to the community! Great to have you here!

I really agree that the pressure on kids can be so much and so hard to manage, what has helped your family in managing this pressure? 

That is interesting that your sons counsellor asked about learning issues, what did you think about that? Did anything the counsellor said resonate with you?

I'm also really interested if you have any tips for other parents, you said the school refusal has been on and off for a while, is there anything you have noticed has helped or patterns around when the refusal seems to happen?

[Hannah-RO]

Hi @Seahorse47 

Sorry to hear things have been really tough for your 15 yr old lately, have you been able to engage with any support from the school? Schools can sometimes be incredibly helpful in these situations with offering options like phased-back-in attendance or assignment extensions, is this something you think could be helpful?

To answer your question about leaving school, it really depends on where you are located. In Australia where our service is based, most states require young people to attend school until the age of 17, but it does differ between locations and the requirements for leaving can be quite varied as well. Is leaving school something your child has been talking about recently?

[Faob_1]

Not sure where you are of course, but maybe a school that has the Big Picture Education model would suit your son. It encourages students to pursue their interests and be out on internships one or more days a week.  If you Google Big Picture Education Australia you will find some information. 

[Faob_1]

Check out Big Picture Education Australia. 

[novamartin]

nice