Hi @Lucy72    One of the hardest thing about having our children grow into adults is releasing we have to accept the choices they make.. Especially the ones we would not make in the same situation.   I applaud your comment that "Our love is unconditional" as all parents love should be.  This doesn't mean we love all behaviours but it is our role to unconditionally love our children.   It sounds like your daughter is struggling to with relationships, which is not unusual for a teen. For her to understand what she really wants from a relationship.takes time and often several tries before they realise what they want.     Saying “we’ll, I guess I’m gay again!” because a boy broke her heart sounds like she really doesnt know what she wants and is reacting to what others say and do.  I would suggest you offer your unconditional love and get her to think about herself.. what she wants.. what makes her happy.     Only when she begins to understand herself will she be able to explain who she is to others, and unfortunately using labels on people really IMHO makes things worse not better.   To your question whether to "reach out to her and tell her that if she is indeed not gay and wants boys to ask her out that she should maybe not shout out that she is.".  If I read that and slightly paraphrase and expand it comes out as "when you work out what your want be true to that".   It sounds like you are a good mum... Keep loving and talking with your daughter !   ... View more

Hi @Broken2019    Being a parent certainly can be a handful.  Having to deal with additional personal issues like relationship break ups can make it so much tougher.  Especially if your ex-partner and yourself find yourselves competing for the children in a popularity conquest.   Most Teens don't have the experience to understand the impact their action can have nor the value of things.  Many are used to having things given to them because they want them.  When the reality starts to hit in the mid-late teens that they have to contribute to get things back it can be a rude shock and they lash out without understanding the impacts they cause.   As an australian web site most on here would not have had experience with US CPS but I imagine that if you are providing a safe quality home the investigation will show that.   My partners daughter went through some tough times, ending in her moving out to live with her boyfriend. I will save you the details though I will say my partner was shattered.  Fast forward about a year and now her daughter has a new appreciation for her mother.  Nothing like a healthy dose of reality and a year of growth to help them realise that things were not half as bad as she thought.   My advice would be to hang in there.  Take steps to look after yourself and remind yourself of the good things you have done for your children. Keep the communications channels open, they might not use them now, but at some point they may want to and you need to be receptive for when they are. Try (I know it is hard ) to remember they are teenages and whilst that is not an excuse it does explain why sometimes they are acting without thought for consequences or impacts on others..   ... View more

Hi @Dad4good    So glad to hear things have improved in your family! It is good to let people know even when things are going wrong there is always the possibility things will get better.     I hope things continue to improve, it does seem that as some children move out of their teen years they seem to settle down somewhat and things improve.  Being able to hang in there with them as they pass through teenagehood is really tough and it is good you are seeing improvements!     ... View more

Hi @shawki11    Sounds like your child is having somethings to work through.  A level of anxiety is part of growing up.  Unfortunately some children go through excessive levels of anxiety and depression. Helping your child learn to manage that anxiety can be a daunting task.   It is always a good idea to consider engaging organisations like headspace who are specifically setup to help children.       Are there any specific behaviours that you are seeing?  If there are issues of safety you need to act urgently to protect the safety of you child.   How is your relationship with your child?   One of the challenges as children grow is the need to move from telling our children to guiding and advising them.  That can be difficult to do for parents and child alike   In general I would recommend listen to what is going on which your child?  Is there anything triggering the anxiety and depression?  What techniques can you work with them to do to manage these triggers?   It is very hard to offer anything more than generic thoughts without knowing more about what is happening    ... View more

Hi @Nicole    Being a parent of a teen is tough, almost as tough as being a teen. I read your post and thought it is really positive that you are trying to talk to your son about his behaviour and your concerns.  That is very important, even if you get rebuffed just making the effort shows your son you love and care for their well being.   Body image issues are ripe in today's teen world and alopecia certainly could trigger issues for your son. Maybe you could pursue his concerns on this more?  If he is unwilling to go to councillor or talk with you is there a trusted male role model he would be able to reach out to?   I know it isn't very Politically Correct to suggest a male role model but IMHO it might be beneficial in this case.   It would be quite normal for anyone to have up and downs in their moods.  Some days or weeks are going to be good and some are going to be bad.  The other thing is mental health is a long term issue to deal with.   It sounds like there has been some video watching and some doodling but no actual self harm? If so that is a good thing!   I would suggest you keep talking with your son and making your concerns known.  It is surprising how children can respond to a little love, respect and genuinely seeking to understand what is going on in their lives.  Again - talking with them shows you care and love for them.    I would also suggest you encourage activities like the karate where he can build his self confidence and interact positively with the world.  If you know his friends and they are "positive"  influences encourage that interactions.   It is a hard time but it sounds like you are on the right track.  Let us know how it goes.     ... View more

We came back from my camping trip and my kids are now with their mum for a week. Back to civilization and work.  This weekend I am off to a costume dinner as a monk! ... View more

hi @boridad813    I found it very scary when both my boy and my girl started to look at the opposite sex.   There were times I was not very happy with the choices they were making and we had some difficult chats.  My children certainly found some of them very uncomfortable as did I.   It is important to protect our children from harm and try to guide them from poor choices and to that we need to have open communication and trust.  Given what has happened so far it sounds like it has not progressed past holding hands, talking and fantasy.  Lets face it, 12 yr olds don't really understand adult love and what they call love at 12 will be vastly different in just a few years. The reality is at some point in the near future they will start to move on to kissing etc.   You are going to need to have the respect and trust of your child in order to guide them when that starts happening.  What you need to be doing now is building that trust so later you can deal with the bigger issues.  How do you think your daughter feels about going through her phone and diary? Do you think that will encourage her to come to you for guidance when a boy wants to do do more than kiss?  Or is it possible rather than risk "punishment" she will seek guidance from other - peers who have no real wisdom to share?   If you have fears share them.  It is perfectly ok to share what you fear with your daughter as long as it is done respectfully, at an appropriate time and place.  Own your concerns and share them.   Talking now openly and honesty will only help in the years to come. ... View more

p.s.  Just because you did stupid things in your 20's does not mean you have to support her doing them.   That's called passing on your experience NOT hypocrisy   ... View more

Hi @What_to_do    It is difficult sometimes to say No to our children when we want to give them the world.   Especially if you both are in the habit of the child asking and you always providing.   At 14 yr old I presume you are still providing the basics of food, clothing etc ? If so you don't need to give your daughter cash, so it becomes a choice that you need to make based on what you think is best for your daughter.   If you think giving her small amounts of money will help her learn to manage finances and be responsible with it then I would encourage you to do so.  Teaching children to manage money is important.   If you think it is going to end up spent on drugs ( you say "I know she will obtain weed through her friends" ) then it realistically is giving her money to buy drugs. Personally I think you need to set an example of saying No to Drugs for your daughter and Not give her cash.    As I like to try and not make it win-lose how about this for an idea. If she wants something nice, you can arrange a debit card in your name, that you can put a small amount of money on for specific things.  Then you see the statement on where the money is going.   Sure it is not fool proof but it does show that you care enough to want good things for them but until they can demonstrate they are responsible you will still be the parent and supervise YOUR money.   IMHO if you are not interfering with your child's life you are not parenting you are observing them.   That doesn't mean you manage every aspect of their life but at 14 you definitely  have a responsibility to limit their exposure to bad things (like drugs!) by controlling what cash you provide them.     ... View more

Hi @mrskode Finding help is never easy It is a long path and but for the wealthiest the cost is a factor. The good news is cost is not always reflective of quality. You may get as good quality from the community centre as a private practitioner. One of the things you might want to check is availably of the community councillor. Are you going to get the number of sessions you need? If the sessions are subsidied the number may be limited. While it may be an ongoing issue at a family level, is this new for your 8 yr old? Even if it is not new perspective and approach is not necessarily an issue. It is important your daughter is comfortable with the councillor. I would suggest booking a session and asking your daughter her thoughts before deciding. ... View more

Hi @RMBF79 I hope things do work out for you Either way keep in mind you were generous and caring The world would be a better place if more parents were like you ... View more

Easter and it's time to pack the bikes on trailer and extract the kids from the bedrooms Then head north and into the scrub.   Taking my Indian neighbour and his 6 yr old with us .. they never been camping before. He thinks I am joking when I say the toilet is 2 min walk in any direction unless it #2 and in which case it is 2 min plus 3 min digging!   He is in for such a shock!! ... View more

Hi @RMBF79    Step children are tough work any time.  When they don't respect or listen to their biological parent you have no chance to "parent" them. Especially if you have a different set or rule or expectation you want them to abide by. If you try you are likely to cop it from both your new partner and the child.   I absolutely think you are doing the right thing in setting rules in your house about acceptable behaviour.  It is you and your children's home and any guest needs to respect that.    If the partners son "didn’t like this rule and so has packed up all his stuff and left in an angry state" that is his choice.    Given your partners son behaviour and how that becomes a role model for your children I think may be the best for your family if your partners son is no longer living with you.   If this has driven a wedge between me and my partner then that is not good.  I hope your partner is just venting his frustration that his son is causing and not blaming you for his son's choices.   You offered a temporary place for the son to stay, if the son then leaves that is not on you it is on the son.  Hopefully the "wedge" is your partners frustration at his son is what you are feeling.   Certainly you are not responsible for his son and by offering him a place when his father is NOT living with you is IMHO generous. If your partner thinks it is your obligation then he really should get a reality check.   I would hope that these circumstances in themselves would not be the end of your relationship. My partner had her daughters boyfriend move in when his parents kicked him out and that was tough.  And he was not displaying any of the behaviours you describe.   I expect your partner is going through a tough time  and might just be venting and you are in the blast zone. If your partner is truly expecting you to accept his son no mater what the son's behaviour then I think he needs a reality check.   One thing I think you need to discuss with your partner is the statement "now (has) no other option than to move down to provide him with a home".  The son is 18 and making choices about where he is living.   If he chooses to behave in a manner that his mother kicks him out and chooses to move to a different location then in no way does this mean the parent has to move.   The last point is building a house together.  Presuming you are going to jointly own it, this is a HUGE step.  I mean really HUGE.  You are talking about a binding financial commitment that if you should separate in the future will likely end up at the lawyers to seperate.   My partner and I looked at doing this when we were in our relationship honeymoon (not marriage) but now we realise we have very different financial priorities and ways of looking at work and money.   I don't know your current status (Renting/owning) but I strongly suggest you don't let your partners son choices determine if you enter the huge commitment of joint property ownership with your partner.   Thats a big reply so in summary Good on ya for being willing to offer a place in your home of a struggling Team You definitely have the right to set the rules in your house  If he doesn't like the rule and leaves.. well that's his choice Don't let the sons behaviour dictate how and where you and your partner live.   ... View more

When I was as new dad I was always on the look out for GOOD parenting advice. I knew I didn't want to be like my dad (who was from the feed them spank them and you a good dad days)   A couple of truisms I latched onto were Listen to the little things when they are little and they will tell you the big things when they are big Give them choices.. Little choices when they are little so they can make big choices when they are big   It not only helped my kids learn to make choices it helped me learn to let them make the choices.. Letting them choose between Red vs green top at 2 taught me as much as it did them and prepared us both for later when they had bigger choices to make.   We found it worked for us..My Daughter still remembers if from her terrible twos.. how we were consistent in applying our version of this.      Today she jokes "I still remember that bloody naughter corner followed me everywhere"  ... View more

Hi @WorriedMama    I am afraid being Australian I dont know of have any experience of US laws in this area.  I doubt whether anyone could seriously consider it child abandonment when you have arranged somewhere to stay else to stay.   Without knowing your daughter, I couldn't guess at her motivation.  It could be  she is scared she has gone to far and is lashing out or something quite maliciously planned.   Part of what is happening her is your daughter is making choices.  If she chooses to stay with her boyfriend that is her choice.  That choice has consequences, some she will love - the freedom, some she wont - lack of support.   I would encourage you to reach out and remind your daughter you still love her and provided she acts appropriately.. i.e. none of the extreme behaviour of the past she is welcome back in your home. AND re-iterate she needs to choose to both modify her behaviour and come home.    While it might seem like this is a devastating turn of events, it might be the best thing to give your daughter some time to reflect on her choices and options.   While the situation with my partner and her daughter was not as extreme as the one you are living, it was only by letting her daughter choose to live somewhere else at 16 that they were able to move their relationship forward into a more positive one... they are out having breakfast as I type so there is hope that this could be a step towards your daughter understanding of how the real world actually works.   ... View more

Hi @WorriedMama    It definitely sounds like things are out of control and on the far more serious than simple mis-behaviour. Your are caught in an impossible situation.  An out of control teenager who by the sounds of it is threatening the rest of the family.    As a parent, you can do everything "Right" and sometimes end up in a situation where things go horribly wrong.   When I read your post, the bit that lept out at me was what you fear could happen to you and your other children.  "Losing my home, I'm concerned for the safety of my other children who are 8, 2, and 7 months."   I know when things were bad with my ex and I the thing that made me take action in the end was the impact I saw it having on my children.   I am sure you would endure a great deal for your older daughter but when your daughter's behaviours  impacts rest of the family so seriously, I think you need to be making the smaller children safety your the priority.   When you have offered her assistance and done all the things you can up to and including inpatient care sometimes you just have to accept that this is beyond your control.       No one doubts you love and care for your daughter, and sometimes the hardest thing in the world is to let them make their choices and take the consequences.     She is definitely old enough to make an informed decision about her actions and in turn the consequences of those actions.   By choosing not to take her medication and refusing counselling she is making a choice. You are not responsible for the results of her choices.  All you can do is guide and support her.  If she makes bad choices your heart breaks, you become frustrated and dumbfounded at how they can possibly choose what they do,   I am not suggesting you write off your older daughter, but if she is not taking medication and is a threat to your younger children or yourself you must act to protect your family.   I don't know where you are and what support is available to troubled teens to help her find "somewhere else to go" so I cant advise you with practical support on how to make arrangements.   If things are as bad as they sound finding alternative accommodation for your eldest needs to be a priority, because if a "Caring" neighbour involves child services and there is a police record of violence at the home things could get very complicated very quickly.   I wish I could do more to help.  Know that with the way things are it is only human to feel scared, frustrated and hurt.  Dealing with that on top of dealing with your daughter can seem unimportant but I would encourage you to look after yourself as well because you have small children who need you to be there for them             ... View more

Hi again @Lekino    Grief and anger are both emotions my partner and I went through.  Angry at the stupid things she is doing and grief at the loss of the closeness  of having her daughter with us and sharing her growth.   I tend to agree that many professionals tend to trust what a child (Teenager) says over their parents.  There would rather err on the side of supporting a child move out of a caring family than leaving them in a abusive home.     It is so hard to see them break away, especially when they do it so (too) young.   It causes so many feelings of frustration, fear and hurt which if we are not careful can cause us to become angry and behave in a destructive manner.   All I can suggest is hang in there.  Try keeping the constructive dialogue open.   Active listening and acknowledge your daughters point of view.   You don't have to agree with it, but if you dont listen and acknowledge their point of view, how can you expect them to acknowledge yours? Once we understood what was driving our teen, we found sharing our feelings of frustration, fear and hurt with our teen helped them to understand where we were coming from.  With a better understanding some of the more destructive behaviour - lying, manipulation and aggression reduced.   She didn't start doing what we thought she should.. it just got a little better.   If you wanted to do something about a petition you could look at https://www.change.org/   It is a popular place to find existing partitions or start a new one.     Hang in there... it is worth it and hopefully things will get better. ... View more

Hi @GiGi74    This is a tough one. While I do love the idea of testing and getting a definitive answer I just dont think it will work.   I am not sure how you can "make" and almost 16 take a drug test. Even if you do Marijuana urine tests are not necessarily going to tell you anything of practical use. With casual use, the drug may not show up after 48 hrs. It can show up longer with prolonged use, but it unless you test 2 times a week you really not going to know for sure. On the relationship side - a) If she is taking drugs it is not likely she will agree if she has been using recently - And it will insisting will damage your credibility when she refuses. b) If she is not taking drugs then she is going to feel hurts and distrusted and that will definitely damage your relationship.   I do think discussing the concerns you have are much more positive way to go. It is possible by sharing your concerns you might be able to guide them away from the drugs and if not you might be able to at least reduce some of the more risky behaviours.   The sad fact is even if you know the truth you cant control what she is going to do with her friends when she is out of your home so you need to try and educate and teach your child to make good choices.   ... View more

Hi @Lekino    it really sounds like things have got you down right now. A tough situation not helped by someone you trust doing something which makes you feel betrayed can't be helping.   I can't explain why it is that at 16 daughters think they are equipped to take on the world but sadly they seem to be being told this by peers and so called professionals.  There seems to be an epidemic of mid-teens leaving home and moving in with older boys (I wouldn't even call him a man if he is a 20 yr old apprentice).   Sadly it seems some are teaching our young about their entitlements and not their responsibilities.  She has no responsibility for her actions and an entitlement to living as an adult at the governments expense.   The sad thing is while we might not agree with it, we do have to learn someway to deal with it. Sounds like you have tried tried and tried again to share your knowledge and experience with your daughter yet she is determined to move out and do it HER way!   It so frustrating when you can see the good she has in her but then behaves to isolate you from that.  When you say "my daughter learned to cook healthy, while she refused to cook anything at home. " it must be so frustrating have you cutting you out of her learning those life skills.   "she helps a friend look after her horses"  but she just does not care for  the one you gave her must be so frustrating.  You can see the good in her but it seems like she deliberately is excluding the things you give her and do to help her like.     I don't think your partners approach of blocking her is the way to go.  You don't want to make it harder for your daughter to reach out to you when she needs you.     My partners daughter story is almost identical to the one you describe except the "man" involved was unemployed.  She was 16 and determined to live with this "man" and there was nothing we could do to stop it.    My instinct was to do "tough love" and push back but my partner kept up the unconditional love.  My partner went through countless sleepless nights, stressed out days and worried herself almost to the point of illness.   Three years later I can tell you the good news is if you stick in there and love your daughter there is a good chance it will improve as she gets older.  My partner now meets 3-4 days a week to take her daughter to and from work or for breakfast and their relationship is the best it has been in years.   To get there my partner had to let her daughter go, she couldn't stop her and by trying to do she was only damaging their relationship.  My partner dreaded it and it was not done with any joy but in the end her daughter was mis-behaving so badly there wasn't a choice.   I know it is hard to see in the mountain of bad  but there does sound like there are a few positives....  -  she values and wants your love  -  it sounds like your daughter is talking to you (at least some times) in a civil way.  -  it sounds like she has a secure roof over her head  -  if she is saying the guy is such a good guy, possibly the rumours about his past have been overstated?   Adding to @TOM-RO thoughts it might be your daughter might very much still want you in her life but in a different way from what you are used to and expecting given her age?  It is possible she is struggling to find here independence.   Her wanting to be independent at 16 IMHO is far to early but the sad truth is in our society she can walk out the door and there is nothing a parent can do.     On the practical side, If what you are doing  is not working  it might be time to try something different even if it is not what you think is right.  The truth is as you said she is in a country who thinks children at 16 and even younger are old enough to do as they please and you need to work with her to re-define your  relationship to one she is willing to participate in.   Normally I would suggest councillor to help with this but it sounds like your trust in councillors has been seriously undermined?   Is there someone she trusts and respects which can help you communicate with her about working with her to build a improved relationship with her?    If you do know someone, one of the hardest things for you will be to accept (you don't have to agree with, just accept) she is going to have increased independence and equal say in how your relationship will be moving forward.   Either way I would suggest applying my favorite Adage - "Seek to understand before being understood".  Seek to know why your daughter is doing what she is and be willing to repeat what you hear back to her.  You don't have to agree with it but it might help if you daughter knows you are at least hearing what she is saying.   The final thing I would say, is "You can't look after anyone else if you don't look after yourself."  Reaching out is great step and you do need to do what you need to for your own health.   @TOM-RO  mentioned some support options you can consider.  In addition to those I would say what do what works for you... If that means locking yourself in a room and screaming or crying then do that.  If it means long walks in the scrub then go for it!     ... View more

Sorry to here things are pilling on top of you @mrskode Opening yourself up to others always comes with the risk of bettong hurt. Sadly it is far to often we are hurt but with out opening up we can never find the true friends who we were ment to find I know you have short help for relationships with your daughter.have you got help for ptsd? Sometimes you need to help yourself before you can help others ... View more

Hi @sahara Definitely sounds like it vou having a lot of turmoil in your and daughters life. With most teens somedays you feel like things are improving (like when you got home) and some days things seem to fall apart (like finding drugs and lies) That you are keeping in there battling for you daughters well being is a credit to you and a blessing to your daughter, though she would not thinks so now. Sounds like you using the support of councillors etc which is great. We all want to be listened too and I am sure you have been through learning all about active listening. Trouble is sometimes people equate not being agreed with as not being listened to. Try repeating back what you hear to her before stating your position The other suggestions I would have is.. you will never win a discussion on attitude. Try focusing on behaviours. They are quantifiable and therefore thing that you can talk to Remember to keep hanging in there fot your daughter and the rest of your family. They benefit from your care and love Even if they don't realise it today ... View more

I went and talked with a Neighbour and Friend and talked about our relationships There may have been scotch involved .. there was no evidence by the end of the night of any scotch. ... View more

Hi @Debsy7680    Sounds like things are a bit tough at the moment.  The good news is like @mrskode @JAKGR8 and others are saying - with support you and your daughter can get through this but it does take time.     While not having had to deal with a child having Separation anxiety myself, I do know it takes love, patience support and above all time to address issues like this.   I would echo @JAKGR8 suggestion to review if you have the right counselor.  Just like any profession there are good ones and average ones.   Sometimes you find a different counselor will take a different approach or technique which can benefit your daughter.   While in no way a therapist or qualified to offer treatment suggestions I am curious how you re-assure your daughter on the phone.  Is it voice or  Is it possible to use SMS messages.   The reason I ask is that is I know when my partner first spent evening with me we would get text streams from her daughter.  At first my partner would reply instantly but over the months it dropped back in how fast she responded until now it is hours between there texts to each other.   I don't know if that is something you could consider.  If so I would think it best to discuss in conjunction with your daughter and the counselor you are using.   Finally as commented on by others,  If you dont look after yourself you cant look after anyone else,  it is important for you to find time to yourself.  Is there a family member or friend who can come over for a night with your daughter so you can get out to relax for a bit?     ... View more

Thanks for the replies. Apparently my son was talking with one of his friends who had an assignment to argue "Modern Parents are to Authoritarian" and my son mentioned I have always said that keeping him happy was not my #1 priority. My son mentioned his dad (me) had shared a list of priorities I have for being a dad.     My children and I have talked about this over the years about how I see our relationship.  I am I am not their friend, I am more than that I am their dad. I love them, I care and want the best for them and it is NOT my mission in life to keep them happy 100% of the time.    Their momentary happiness is important but there are things as a father that is more important than keeping them happy all the time..       ... View more

Told my daughter and son that after having to cook dinner and clean the kitchen for the last three days after I came home from work that it was some one else turn to cook!   My daughter has volunteered to make curry.   p.s. they are both at uni now :)   I am not letting my 10 year old on the stove without supervision!!     ... View more

Hi  @lost1971    Better to over react and be seen as a loving mother who just doesn't get "IT"  than loose the chance to intervene early if that is what is needed.   I guess we are becoming old fuddy duddies togher because I too thing the internet and social media has a lot to answer for.  A lot of information with little context or wisdom !  And that is ignoring the trolls out there.   It is a transition for you too so it is important for you to talk about how it effects you as well.     Hope it goes well over the next few weeks. ... View more

hi @Dad4good    Snap...  For my son and I it was computer games and sports that kept us spending time together. Saturday AM was Father/Son sports .. Football when he was younger then on to Golf and tennis as he became a teenager.     Common interests are a great way to keep in touch with the teens as they struggle through teenagehood.    Maybe there is something you can do together with your son @lost1971 ? You said he loves drama and acting.  Is there anything you can do there with him? A community drama group maybe?   ... View more

Hi @lost1971    Sounds like things are tough at the moment.  It is hard to know when you children are just going through "normal" teenage angst.  Either way it is really hard to support them as they struggle through adolescence. I like your strategy of giving him a cuddle and letting him know you are there, it is so important he knows you love him even if he doesn't acknowledge it at the time.   One of the hardest things as children go is you go from being in control to being the coach of their lives. You no longer can control their choices and actions and that is a hard transition to make. With a lifetime of experience you can see outcomes they can not but they wont listen. Us parents have to learn and accept that we no longer control our children's lives and that is hard. We still love them, we still want the best for them, we just now have to offer advice instead of instructions. The hardest part is when the ignore our advice and make different choices which we need to respect.   Eating disorders are less common in boys but they definitely do occur.   If you suspect the issues are getting beyond normal growing pains and are potentially impacting his health you you need to try and raise your concerns with him and possibly engage professional help.     My suggestion would be to pick a time when his is likely to be more responsive, maybe a weekend if he is exhausted by school? Pick a place without distractions and start by saying you are concerned that he is ok. Talk about what you are thinking and share your fears.  Ask him how he thinks things are going. LISTEN to what he has to say rather than trying to tell him what he needs to do differently.   It is quite possible you wont get much of a reply, teenages can be very uncommunicative at times If you are able to do that at least you can share your concerns he will understand you are coming from a place of love and concern.   Let us know how it goes ... View more