After more than 1,5 years of running away from home, living with complete and not very good strangers and coming back, last time just less than one month, my daughter walked out again for the 9th time moved in with a bloke she only knew about 1 month. He is the "boyfriend" and just turned 20 and started an apprenticeship as boiler maker only a few months back. I did not know anything about him as my daughter just really dropped that bomb three days after returning home for Christmas. We don't really understand why she is always walking out, other than the fact that she hasn't had decent friends and that many of those have left home at young ages as well, telling her it is the best thing they ever did. Each time, she ran away it was because of something she had actually done wrong and did not want to face consequences for her own actions. We had enrolled her in a private school for year 10, last year. She left in the last term and did not complete the year. she has not attended school for the whole past term this year either. We had told her that if she left again, we could not enrol her. It was our intention to get her back in the state school and see if she could get into year 11 while still completing some year 10 subjects as her grades had been awful in year 10. she left before we could do this. On the same day as her leaving, I went to see my daughter and this bloke, told him it was a bad idea she lived with him and that I wanted him to send her back home which did not happen. I tried to find out more about him through his facebook and talked with some people, his sister as well, or adopted sister as I don't know much about his situation other than that he ran away from home as well an that his mother lives in NZ with a new partner. The result was that he blocked me on facebook while I was not even friends with him and blocked me on his phone as well. A few weeks ago, a centrelink social worker called me to tell me my daughter had applied for centrelink benefits and wanted to hear what I thought. I told the bloke from Melbourne (I am in rural QLD) that my daughter did not need payments, that she simply has to come back home. They asked if they couls speak with my daughters (and mine) counsellor and I said that was ok. It was said counsellor who told them that my daughter could not come home to centrelink. I had put my trust in this woman and had visited her just before where she said she had advised my daughter that she should divorce her parents. It turns out that for the past 1,5 years that she has been counselling my daughter, she has turned her away from us, rather than working towards reuniting her with us and work with the family for her to realise that the best place for her is home with us. I will be lodging a complaint as I found out that she is a mental health nurse and not a counsellor and also found out that she has done this with other teenagers, because she wants to be popular among them. a social worker in centrelink who does not know us, who does not know my daughter has decided that she should get payments but also enrol in school, which she did. i have contact with the principal who knows my daughters story and she told me she will be keeping a close eye on my daughter and she enrolled her in year 10 again. She will now be 2 years older than some of her class peers as we lived in Victoria before and in QLD they are a year in front. When my daughter came home the last time, at Christmas, I had bought her some lovely presents, painted her room an got a new Queens bed for her. We have done everything in our power to make her see that home is best for her where she gets help and support. But the boyfriend had other ideas, he did not want parents to stop him from seeing his girlfriend on a daily bases. My daughter just refuses to live by the rules at home. they aren't strict, not as strict as in other families with 16 year old girls. I found out that the bloke already had at least 4 other relationships, one with a girl his age, that went bad after 1 year. It was that girl who told me about this bloke. She told me that he was a narcissist, a mummy's boy and that he cannot be alone and only wants someone to cook and clean for him. He had 3 other relationships that all ended bad as well, with three older women. I was told about a bad drug past and that he was on medication for anger issues. I have told my daughter about this but of course she won't believe me. The bloke told her that these are all rumours. Police won't do anything not even visit her to see how she is. I feel so left out as a parent with no tools to make her come back home. I don't like living here anymore, kids can just do what they want in this country and get help with breaking relationships with the only people who will love them for ever. She uses that fact, she is always telling me that I should love her unconditionally and that she can just do whatever she likes and I still need to love her, but I have just no respect for what she has done. She has caused so much hurt. i just don't want to hear what a good bloke this boyfriend is and that my daughter learned to cook healthy, while she refused to cook anything at home. We had given her a horse three years ago, but she just does not care for it, though she helps a friend look after her horses. My husband has not spoken to her since she left on January 20 this year. He blocked her off his phone, its the only way he can deal with it. He does not want to speak about her and tells me to do the same. I just want to turn off too, I just can't bare it. She has done so much damage, last time screaming abuse and a lot of ugly words. We had just started with the 100 hours she needs to complete for her L license, after she succeeded in her exam, the Wednesday before she left. She made all those promises that she would not leave again and then a stupid bloke comes around and lures her into his house with pictures of a new mattress and a love heart on one side, saying "this is your spot". What should I do or not do? I have sent her many messages, that I am angry for what she has done, that I don't want to hear about this good bloke. She just answers me to get over it and swallow my pride, but its not pride, its the hurt she caused. how can she do this to her father, her sister, to me and still think its all normal and I should take her out for a coffee or lunch. I lost so much in my life, my very best friend when I was 20, to an accident, my mum when I was 20, my 23 year old brother to suicide when i was 30 and ten my long time ex husband abducted my then 9 and 11 year old daughters internationally, after we had been living in Australia fora year, back in 2001. I have no contact with my daughters, 27 and 29, not because I don't want to. I feel lost and sometimes I just don't want to be here anymore. Thank you for reading.
... View more