Oh I love this @taokat!!    Self-care plan is such an excellent idea! Is the idea to have a readily available list displayed somewhere that you can easily "choose" from to engage in a self-care activity?  I like the different categories in this too! I'm going to get going on my own plan this afternoon...  ... View more

On that note, thank you to everyone who  participated in this week's Topical Tuesday discussion! Feel free to post any final thoughts, reflections or questions.  The new discussion will be going up this afternoon - apologies for the delay but I was off out of action yesterday! Back today, and excited for the new discussion.    I would love to increase members participation in the chats as everyone has such unique and valuable insights, so please tag other users that you think might want to contribute, or just read the discussion.    @taokat@sunflowermom@Rowanna@Schooner@Zoesplace @Sister @jdbza ... View more

@taokat love this comic - very useful and clear information! Those "dont's"  are really common reactions, and I guess the challenge as parents (and anyone), is to be aware of our own emotional reactions and the negative impact they might have, so that we can be better supports for young people when they are in distress.   And yes I also love that term - urge surfing - it is based on the notion that as humans we only experience really intense emotions and urges for a limited time.. like an itch, it will pass eventually. So if we can be aware of our emotions, urges and "itches", we can also learn to ride them like waves.  And just like real surfing, it is difficult but gets easier with practice!    @sunflowermom I'm so glad that the app was useful!! I'll be sure to keep sharing resources that could be helpful.  ... View more

Thought you all might  appreciate this infograph we published on our youth website on "Ways to chill for cheap" ! :    ... View more

@taokat wow thank you for sharing  - it seems to be a common theme that not focusing on or reacting emotionally to the self-harm itself (apart from providing the essential first -aid and care) , and rather focusing what's going on for your young person and being emotionally supportive. Also thank you for sharing about your own experience in self-harm, such valuable insight and tips for strategies to try.   ... View more

@sunflowermom - thank you for sharing about what's helped your daughter - sounds like activities that you do together are effective in distracting her from the urge to self-harm.    This is a method psychologists recommend- some calling it "urge surfing" -a form of mindfulness to delay the action until the urge has passed. It's by no means easy for the individual, but having a supportive person doing it with them is going to make it a lot more achievable!    An app called Calm Harm has been developed in the UK to help those wanting to resist the urge to self harm. Check it out here    For those of you looking for more support in this area for you, or your teen - check out this page on our youth website, with a list of services that can help with self-harm.       ... View more

Today for self-care I straightened my hair - not something I do often, but I always find the activity relaxing!  ... View more

@Realistic1 - We are so so glad that you have found us here on the forum.  Thank you for sharing some of your experience with us - as you've said, you are absolutely not alone.  You will have a lot of insight and experience to share with us here, and I hope that we are able to offer you some support and a 'listening ear' as well.  Sounds like you've already had a look around the forums, but you might be interested in looking at some of our daily threads such as our grateful one (a helpful and some days surprisingly challenging exercise) , and self-care one (also a challenge to all parents to think about their own care) .  We have weekly discussions about different issues. Last week's was on self care , and this week is how to respond and support if your teen is self-harming. Jump in if you feel comfortable.  Looking forward to seeing you around the forums  ... View more

@Schooner - thank you for sharing about your experience with your son and the amazing supportive way you responded! You sound like you have a lot of insight into what was going on there for him -  with the self-harm being a way to relieve and cope with stress.  That's a pretty common reason that young people self-harm, and as you've said - it can be confused with suicidality when that's not necessarily what it's about.   So interesting to hear your approach of being factual and not making a fuss -  it was really effective and de-escalated the situation - while also giving the message that you weren't judgmental and he could tell you about it if it happened again.    Thanks again for sharing and reminding other parents that they are not alone with this issue!        ... View more

Hi @Rowanna  - thank you for your response -  your honesty around such a difficult situation is really appreciated.  I'm so glad to hear that you were able to book yourself in for a psych appointment - and that you've shared that with us - this is something that can easily slip off the radar for parents. The focus is often to just get your teen into support - but it is SO important to be getting your own support and psycho-education so that you can be better equiped for your daughter, as well as emotionally supported yourself.    It sounds like you're being incredibly supportive, respectful and keeping communication open.  If you're open to, it would be great to hear from you again after your appointment next week to hear how it went, and any guidance or advice that was helpful.  Apart from that - how are you looking after yourself, or what other supports do you have while you support your daughter?  ... View more

Today for self-care I will have a nap after work!  ... View more

@taokat @Sister @sunflowermom @Schooner    @J7mbo @lovelymum @Zoesplace   Would love to hear from you all!  Please tag any other members you think may be interested in this topic too.  Questions, queries, concerns, thoughts feelings - all welcome.  This is a tricky subject, so lets support each other as we explore it.    ... View more

Hi @J7mbo , thanks for raising this on the forum! It's a complex one. Every family has different boundaries around nudity, so there isn't necessarily a 'normal'!  My first question would be how is your daughter is responding to this - is she okay with her brother walking in on her? Her privacy and dignity needs to be respected first and foremost - especially as the teenage years can be a sensitive time around body image and privacy.  Having a conversation with your daughter, and your son about this could be a good next step (if you haven't already). Checking in on how this is impacting on each of them, and why it's happening. How do you feel about talking to them about it?  ... View more

@Schooner Music, showers, and dogs - an incredible recipe for mindful self-care! (Not necessarily all at the same time... )  Ps. How good is live music?! I completely agree that watching live music can be really immersive and in that way, a really mindful and present activity.   How often do you go see something live??        ... View more

Keen to hear from others @Holden @Sister @At-a_loss @vig10   and some of our new members too! @McDonald @Chava22611 @Nixsnow @aquamarine @pnrrnp   ... View more

@Orbit64 @Schooner @hippychick @taokat @Breez-RO @Big_Crab @Lola-RO @Amirah-RO   I have been loving hearing from all you on how you self care...I've noted a few ideas and popped them into my self-care tool box for later..thanks!    There's a few resources I wanted to share -    Aloe Bud - I've been hearing a few things (all good) about this new app - I have to admit, I haven't downloaded it yet, so I can't personally endorse it... BUT I would love to hear from any of you that download it or already have it. Its on the App Store.. not too sure about Android.  Check it out here.    Everything is awful and I'm not okay: questions to ask before giving up  This is a great article to read through when you're feeling overwhelmed with some practical and simple  suggestions on looking after yourself and getting through.    TedTalks on Self-care - if you like hearing from experts then you might want to check out this playlist that TedTalks have put together on the matter.    Reflection/ activity: Spend a bit of time to reflect, and ask yourself some questions about how you're travelling in terms of physical and emotional health - and how to tell when you're not doing so well. I like writing my reflections down - but do whatever works for you. Then create a list (or a toolbox) of simple things you can do to look after yourself when you're feeling distressed.    Toolbox example:  Have a warm shower  Go for walk around the block  Listen to a podcast  Wash my bed sheets Go and get a coffee or smoothie Sit in the sun  Listen to music    And a final question:  What's your top tip to other parents, on how to look after yourself when life gets chaotic? Keen to hear ideas for or from Dads as well, as it seems to often be that we think of self-care as a 'female' thing, but actually its very much a HUMAN thing!     Please share any thoughts on the resources, or any other questions as well!    ... View more

It's cold and rainy in Sydney today, and I'm very grateful for a hot cup of tea!    ... View more

Awesome recipe @taokat!!!  Thanks! I'm going to give this one a go and report back!    ... View more

Today for self-care I'm making sure to drink lots of water. Something that's been slipping recently...  ... View more

@Orbit64 what a list!!! I know most of those, but I'm already looking up the ones I haven't heard of.. thanks for all the recommendations!    Ah of course.. King Gizzard and the Lizzard wizard stick out - i'm a big fan of their stuff, really fun.    Music is SUCH a good self-care strategy.  For me blasting it in the car or while cleaning and having a good sing along is massively stress relieving-  or playing something mellow while I sit down with a tea can also de-stress and relax.  ... View more

@taokat- Such a good point that sometimes we have to adjust our self care strategies depending on what' else is happening! Glad you've been managing to do small things for yourself in the midst of a hard week!  ASMR - so intersting!    @hippychick - wow that's amazing you live close to a mountain trail! Nature is powerful  - so special to be able to do that with your son as well.  ... View more

@Orbit64 - those are all wonderful wonderful self-caring activities.  I think especially the daily walk in nature is something that I would do well to incorporate into my day.  I'm also a big podcast fan, I will check those ones out!    Who are some of the new aussie artists you're digging at the moment?  ... View more

@Schooner that sounds like an AMAZING trip!- how special to do it together with your daughter!!!  So so important to schedule in breaks - and AVOID getting exhausted! Often we only take a holiday when we are run into the ground.  But the best self-care is preparing a head of time to schedule in breaks so that we get rest throughout the year. Nice!   @sunflowermom - nails is a good one  - there's some amazing nail art going around these days. Do you ever do your nails with your daughter?  Sneaking a nap is an excellent strategy! I used to do this in the car when I worked on the road as a caseworker - a half hour nap in between appointments was a life saver!  ... View more

Keen to hear from you!    @taokat @Sister @sunflowermom @Schooner ... View more

hi @trina1979  - welcome to our forum, so glad you've found us!  That's amazing your daughter was able to stop self-harming - what helped us to do that? Does she see a counselor or therapist?  Lots of other parents in this community have teenagers who have experienced self-harm, maybe they can offer you some support around that.    From what you've said about schooling, it sounds like you're not in Australia - that's where our forum is based, and most people on here are familiar with a different schooling system. Is the issue that your daughter has to choose which school year to go into? Is this because of her attendance, or marks at school?   Hoping we can be a support as you work through these issues! ... View more

@jdbza- that's so great!!! Thanks for letting us know, the more parents that join the conversation, the more knowledge and support there will be to go around  ... View more

haha @taokat -  the goggles is such a good idea when chopping onions!!! I like the sound of that fudge slice too...  It would be awesome if you got baking and raising dough at the gym! Maybe you could make those yummy bliss balls with protein - to appeal to the health conscious sweet tooth?  ... View more