Hi @mumof3. What a huge challenge this must be for your son and your family ! Wow it must be exhausting ! So sorry to hear that this is happening to you and your precious child . I could not agree more with @taokat and @Ngaio-RO and their great suggestions . Good solid practical advice well done !
My only other suggestion to add to these fabulous tips is :
You mentioned that your relationship and his behaviour went down hill after you had told him there will be no hormone therapy until after he is 18 . Teens can be very short sighted , impulsive , and do not have the ability to predict future consequences . Of course your decision to postpone is in his best interest but they often don't see that ! He may feel you are blocking his choices and treating him like a child who doesn't know himself yet . A year can be a long time in their mind ! Perhaps you may like to revisit that definitive decision with him ? approach it with something like :"
" I know you are feeling very upset and angry at me about my previous decision with regard to your transitioning age . Let's take another look at that . Perhaps we can leave the decision of precisely when for the TIME BEING until we have explored therapy , psychiatrist sessions , educated , researched joined communities together etc The more we empower ourselves the better the transition will be when you do begin " . Make sure this is REALLY clear and get him to repeat to you what he heard you say and what you are agreeing on , because teens have a habit of " alternative facts " when talking about previous conversations . We often get the " but you said..." " Ah no I didn't !!lol 🤔"
. This may help him to FEEL more in control of the " timing " of his life choices , he has a say in the final timeline and thus it may be an incentive to get out of that filfty room and get to the doctor .
Just an idea if you haven't tried this one ! 😁
